Dean finally comes to terms with his sexuality and admits to himself his true feelings for Castiel. However, when he's about to declare his love to the angel, he panics and finds himself rendered speechless. He stays root to the spot, hands sweating, and tugs on nervously his shirt collar. His eyes are intent on Castiel's as if seeking strength or reassurance. But he can only swallows past a large lump in his throat.
"What is wrong, Dean?" The genuine concern in the angel's voice and eyes makes his stomach flutter.
Dean closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths. 'I can do this I can do this,' he keeps saying to himself, 'shit I must do this, I can't afford to lose the best thing in my life.'
Then he cracks his eyes open. But Castiel has stepped closer, too close, invading his personal space once again. It stopped being an issue long time ago, but now it's making Dean giddy, his mouth is dry and his eyes are drawn to Castiel's lips. And suddenly it is too hot and all too much. And all his resolve shatters.
Dean has to bite on his bottom lip to focus but he can't help fidgeting on his feet nervously. His voice is hoarse when he finally finds the courage to speak.
"Cas" He coughs to clears his throat. "uh…I need you to read my thoughts."
"But Dean, you said…"
"Damn, Cas, forget what I said. I need you to do it just this once."
"Very well." Castiel says matter-of-factly as he proceeds to do as told.
Dean lets himself completely open and unguarded to the angel's scrutiny. And it should scare the shit out of him, being this exposed. But this is Castiel and he trusts him completely.
"You have romantic feelings for me." Castiel states in that detached, infuriating matter-of-factly way of his that makes Dean roll his eyes.
"Well?" And god, Dean is at the verge of a breakdown because Castiel is frowning, all steel eyes and rough edges. What if he had read him wrong all this time? Dean squirms and all he can do is look down at his hands. And fuck, how is this his life?
"That…pleases me."
Dean should feel relief. Really. He should have expected it to be like this. This was reality, not one of his stupid daydreams where he would confess his undying love and his angel would have thrown himself into his arms, maybe pushing him a little too rough against a wall to kiss the daylights out of him. 'what the fuck is wrong with you, Dean, you ain't a damn teenager anymore'
But this is Castiel. This stupidly wondrous creature made of light and raw power, with too much heart but zero ability to deal with emotions in a proper way. Which Dean would normally find endearing as fuck.
Normally.
He is annoyed, though.
"Dude…" He can't bring himself to lash out though. Because there's this tiny smile tugging at the corner of Castiel's lips and Dean finds himself drawn to it…
"…inmmensely."
"Duh?" And really, who could blame Dean for his lack of eloquence when all of this is being ridiculous and cute. Terribly so.
"It pleases me immensely." Castiel repeats a bit too smug and Dean really wants to punch that smirk. Or kiss it.
But he bursts out laughing. And what the fuck.
"Cas, don't ever change." And there's a fondness in his voice, in his smile, that makes his heart flutter.
But then all the air is punched out of his lungs as his back hits the wall. And all too sweet lips are kissing the life out of him. There's tongue and fierce hunger that has him curling his toes. And shit, Cas had been prying in his head all this time. But if Castiel is going to make his wildest fantasies come true, Dean can't bring himself to complain.