Dear Ultear,

Did you know? When I first found out that you were coming I was terrified. No, it wasn't because I didn't want you. I was just scared because I didn't know if I could be a good parent for you. D. Evan, the doctor I first went see asked if I wanted abortion. He was asking me if I wanted to kill you! I lost my temper and hit him right there. That wasn't quite right of me… he was a man with no heart.

My husband, your father, did the very same. He wanted me to get rid of you! But I loved you too much for that. I refused. I wouldn't loose you for the world. and he told me to choose between you and him!

I did. I chose you.

You were already my world and I hadn't even met you. Funny, nah? I always thought magic was the most important thing in my life. And when I found out about you, my heart which believed was frozen melt in an instant. I hit a man for you in 5 minutes and left your dad in 6 hours. And for the first time in a decade I thought I should stay away from magic.

The nine months you were inside of me was Amazing. Sure, I felt a bit sick at times; but you won't believe how magical it felt when I felt you kick. How wonderful it was sing you lullabies, they told me you didn't hear. I loved talking to you and I loved it more when kicked as if responding.

When you and I finally met I couldn't help but cry. The tears just wouldn't stop. I never liked crying. But there you were so small, so fragile, and just so…so perfect. All the things you could do and all the things you would do. The way your arms reached towards me when he nurse walked in. the way you cringed to me and how your little hands fisted into my soaked shirt, the way your short back hair clung to your forehead… I felt so…so magical. I knew there was nothing else I needed in my life but you. You were, you are my everything.

You know, I cherish every moment I spent raising you. I still remember the time when I saw your first tooth peek out of your gums. I still remember how you giggled when I held ice sculptures before you. I remember your first time standing on your own. Your first birthday. Your first steps thump, thump, thump across the wooden floor. The first time you called me momma. Your first ABC book is still in the drawer of your room. I can still hear you reciting your favorite nursery rhyme in your soft voice, when I close my eyes.

I'm sorry for all the things I couldn't give you. I'm sorry you had to grow up in this snow covered wooden house. I'm sorry I couldn't get you a Halloween custom. I'm sorry I couldn't get you new clothes every Christmas. I'm sorry I didn't scold the boy who always bullied you. I'm sorry I don't afford to buy you that doll you wanted. I'm sorry I couldn't take all your pain away when you curled in that bed from all the pain that came with your overflowing magical power. I'm sorry, sweetie. I'm so sorry…

But there's some thing I want you to know no matter what, Ultear. I love you. I love you more than anything else in this entire world. I love you, Honey. I love you so much.

I love you too much, Ultear.

I can't stand it. My world is crushing down now. They told me you are gone. They said you left your mother. Honey, didn't you promise you wouldn't! Didn't promise you would stay no matter what? Didn't you say you'll never leave me?

But then, why?

Why did you go!

I can't take it any more. I can't…

Ultear, come back to me. Please! Come back to momma.

Please…

….

I didn't plan on writing this About Ul and Ultear. I was going to go for Grandine and Wendy. But damn, the angsty feel. I re-watched Ultear's back and just cried a bucket of water and this came out.

Review, if you want to… I love to read your opinions.