And there he was, living on a hell hole for 7 months now. This undercover operation was tearing him apart, mentally and physically. He had already lost 18 pounds, his once strong and fit body long gone -7 months of crappy food and lack of sleep does that to a person- he had lost the count of how many times he had been beaten just because his boss was in a bad mood or because he hadn't sold all the cocaine, but that wasn't the worst, he knew that this physical pain would go away someday, the worst was to know that those bastards were selling kids like they were commodities and not be able to prove it nor help those poor and helpless lives.

He couldn't stand look at the mirror because that wasn't Sam, that was A.M, Anthony Muse, a drug dealer from Montreal who came to Toronto to run away from the police. He knew that Gene Emerson and his crew weren't working only with drug traffic, they were selling big guns and what's worse, they were selling kids too and that was why he accepted the job, he wanted to bust Gene Emerson so he couldn't do those atrocities anymore, someone had to put an end to these chain of events and he was the right guy to do this.

The problem was that Gene didn't trust him yet. Yes, he was working for the guy, but his job was to sell drugs, nothing more, he wanted to be part of the "minor's operation", and the only thing he could do was wait, and that's what he was doing, he was waiting patiently for the Big Boss to trust him.

Laying on his bed his mind drifted to his friends from 15, and of course, Andy, he missed her so much, he even missed her allergy to silence, not that I will admit this to her one day. Oh god, I hope she is ok. He missed her smell and her smile. How could Callaghan cheat on her? I would never do that to her. He missed teasing her and he missed buying her coffee. I hope one day she will see that I can make her really happy, and for that to happen I would have to talk to her about what I really feel, but apparently I'm a coward and every time I try to talk to her I choke. Such a pussy, man up Sam.

FLASHBACK

Parade was almost starting, the rooks were gathered at the front row chatting about their day while Noelle, Oliver and Jeremy were leaning against the back wall laughing about Dov and his rookie mistakes. Andy glanced around the room trying to find Sam but gave up when she realized he wasn't there, which was very unusual, he was always so punctual. Best began his speech, Epstein with Williams, Peck and Shaw, Diaz and Nash at the front desk and lest but not least McNally with Swarek.

"McNally, Swarek will be here in a minute, you can wait for him outside at the cruiser" Best called before leaving the room

Ten minutes later she spotted him coming, she could see that something wasn't right, his face was a little bit serious, but she thought that maybe she was imagining things.

"Sorry, I had to do something" he said, handing her the keys of the cruiser. When she didn't catch them he said "c'mon, you are driving today, unless you don't want to?"

"No sir, I want to. Thank you very much" she thanked him, a little surprised by his action something is definitely wrong.

"So, is everything alright sir?" Andy asked after a while of comfortable silence

"Yeah, yeah, sure. Are you ok? Do you need something?"

She found marvelous the way he was always worried about her, nobody ever cared about her so much "yes, I'm fine, better than never actually, my new apartment is ready, Luke doesn't bother me at the station anymore, and my former T.O. is letting me drive, I couldn't ask for more"

"Well, it can always be better. Pull over at that diner" Sam said pointing to a small and colorful diner. She did as she was told to "you stay here, I'll be back in 5 minutes" he said, leaving the car

5 minutes later Sam was back, two cups of coffee on his right hand and one brown bag on the other hand. He entered the car and handed a cup to Andy "this one is for you, the way you like it"

She couldn't believe, he remembered that this is my favorite diner, she told him about it once but they never actually stopped by to buy coffee here "Sam, thank you very much, you sure know how to make my day better" she thanked him and looked at the brown bag on his lap "I bet you are wondering what's in the bag right? Well, I know how much you like strawberry cookies, so I bought you some. Hope you like them"

"Oh my God, you are scaring me a little, why are you being so nice to me? Not that I'm not loving it, but…why?"

"Well, if you want I can eat them by myself, and we can switch places so I can drive. Is that what you want McNally?"" he tried to sound mad but failed

"No, no, I was just thinking…" before she could complete he replied "don't, don't think, can you do that?" she nodded "ok, now let's get going"

The shift was very busy and before they could see it was the end of the day, Andy parked the squad car and they both headed out to the locker room to get changed.

Andy was alone in there, she told Traci she would meet her at The Penny and was just finishing pinning her hair when she heard someone walk through the door, she imagined it would be some girl from the night shift, but it wasn't, it was Sam, he coughed to get her attention, she turned her head and saw him "Sam? What are you doing here? "

He hesitated a little "I … hum, it's that… hum, I need to talk to you"

Andy frowned, it wasn't normal for her to see Sam so unsure of something "ok, but don't you prefer to talk at The Penny? Can't it wait?"

"No, I need to talk now"

She sat on the bench and motioned for him to sit by her side and he did as he was told to. Andy didn't want to pressure him so she gave him time, she knew he would talk when he was ready but she was getting nervous. Sam kept fidgeting with his fingers, he didn't know where to start, he didn't want to upset his partner, his friend. He took a deep breath, looked at the floor and began "look, I think I owe you the truth, that's why I am here, I wasn't supposed to tell you" she tried to interrupt him but he raised his finger to stop her "just hear me. Like I was saying, I wasn't supposed to tell you, but you are my partner and my friend, we have each other's back no matter what right? This morning, when I said I had to do something, actually I was talking to Boyd, he came to ask me to go undercover, and I said yes" he finished and waited for Andy to say something, but she didn't

They stayed in silence for at least 5 minutes, Andy trying to process everything and Sam staring blankly at the ground. Finally she broke the uncomfortable silence "so, you are going undercover? When? Why? For how long?"

"It just felt right, that's why I took it. I don't know for how long, I won't lie to you, I know it won't be short, this case is complicate so it will take me some time. I have to go like, now, today, the plan was to go in a week but something happened and Boyd told me that I needed to go today. So here I am, trying to say goodbye to you."

Andy felt a tear rolling down on her cheek but she didn't care "I'm going to miss you Sam, I really am" she said

"I will too, but I promise I will be back as soon as possible, you won't even notice that I'm gone. And before I forget, you have to promise me that you will stay out of trouble, 'cause you know, I like you just the way you are, I don't want to be back and see you with 3 missing fingers or I don't know, a new scarf on your pretty face ok?" he tried to lighten the mood. Andy giggled at his remark "okay, I promise, but the same goes to you, no broken bones and no bullet holes" he smirked and agreed "so, you think I have a pretty face? Nice to know Swarek" she winked at him

"Yes, I do, and you know that, I always tell you that you are beautiful" he saw that she was blushing

"Ok, Boyd is waiting for me, see you soon McNally" Sam stood up and was almost leaving the room when he heard Andy call his name, he turned and looked at her, she walked towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck "I want to give you this before you go" she closed the distance between them and met his lips with hers, the kiss was slow, full of desire and promise, after a while the need of air became too much and they broke the kiss, Sam rested his forehead against Andy's and whispered "I want you to know that I like you a lot, you are very important to me and I will miss you like hell"

"Thank you very much Sam, for everything, you are my rock, so I demand that you come back to me as soon as possible" Andy said, kissing him one more time

That was definitely one kiss he would never forget, sometimes when things were bad he just sat at his couch, thinking how bad he wanted to come back home so he could kiss her again or maybe take her out on a dinner, and he was working on that, he was giving his best to try and close this case as soon as he could.

He was brought back to reality when his phone rang "A.M, we need you"