Title: Typhlotic
Summary: Typhlotic (adj.): Blind, unseeing. What Neji awoke to was something he hadn't expected. Heck! He hadn't expected to wake up at all! But he did…and now he's going to have to live with the consequences. One-shot. NejiTen, teeny bit of NaruHina in there.
*BEWARE OF SPOILERS up to recent-ish chapters*
I was going to wait to post Naruto fanfiction until I had finished one of the two chapter fics I'm working on, but I had to put this up. I've been working on it since December of last year.
It's been almost a year, and I still can't believe that Kishimoto-sensei killed off Neji…
I wrote this because I don't want to believe that Neji has died for good. Call it wishful thinking, I don't care. Neji will live…though this is only one speculation as to how (my other one is that he lives only in name; meaning, somebody names their kid after him).
I don't own Naruto. If I had then Neji wouldn't have died dammit!
I apologize if some things don't make complete sense; I wasn't completely sane when I began writing this.
Pain. Pain is the first thing he feels. It's unexpected and unwelcome, shrouding him in fire and gripping him in an iron vice. He wonders if he's in hell. And he panics, because he would never get to see his father and mother if he was in hell.
He continues to feel pain, even as other senses begin to return to him.
The next thing he's aware of is the voices: noises of grief and celebration mixing in his head blurrily, making it pound. Thoughts of hell slip from his head. There would be no celebratory sounds there. The logical part of his brain deducts that he is probably alive. He doesn't know how he's survived, but at the moment, he doesn't care. He wants to give a sigh of relief, only to realize with annoyance that he is unable to move.
He wishes that he could understand what the people are saying because he knows that one of them is speaking to him. He recognizes it, the voice.
Tenten…
And he wants to cry in joy, because she isn't dead, she's safe (as far as he knew. Was the war over? Had they won? He wants so desperately to know).
Eventually, the sounds separate from each other and he is able to understand. She is worried and she is sad. She doesn't know if he'll wake up and it's overwhelming her. Wetness drips onto his cheeks and he realizes that she is crying.
How he wants so badly to be able to move, to hug her, hold her, and comfort her (his old self would have scoffed at him, but this new mushy side of him was for Tenten and Tenten alone. So it didn't matter). But he is still unable to move.
He's suddenly drifting off to sleep, leaving behind the unaware Tenten, who doesn't know that he was with her in the first place.
He slips in and out of the dreaming world for an undetermined amount of time, dreaming of his brush with death and wishing that the pain was only a dream too.
During his, admittedly, brief visits to the waking world, he continues to hear visitors, most he recognizes, but there are some he doesn't. He wonders if they're doctors. They probably are, as his wonderings are usually followed with an automatic trip to the dreaming world.
Through the help of the familiar people, he figures out a little as to what's happened. The war has ended. Madara and Obito are dead. The ten-tails was defeated (by whom else other than Naruto?). Everyone is pitching in to help repair the villages. He still has no clue how he's alive. Oddly enough, he usually drifts off to sleep when someone starts to talk about it.
But now he's awake. He's awake and slightly more aware than the last time. He wonders if he's going to regain control of his body soon. Unaware of his unmoving companion's thoughts, the young man sitting next to him (Naruto. Who he was quite happy to find perfectly healthy) chatters on about his day. They've finally finished the repairs on the village ("I've got a brand new apartment! It's really neat!"), Naruto is helping Ino and Hinata reopen the Yamanaka flower shop , oh and Neji really needed to come with him to the new Ichiraku's stand when he's better, it has twenty-seven new flavors!
Neji lets the one sided conversation drift over him, a soothing familiar lull to it. It was comforting to know that things were not really all too different.
Another voice suddenly enters, Hinata-sama, and he is once again struck with the crushing relief. She's alright. This time, he really does give a sigh of relief, which is immediately followed with a groan of pain. White hot agony across his chest…Okay, making sounds is definitely out for now.
But slight noise is enough to catch the attention of Naruto and Hinata-sama, who are suddenly talking in excited voices, going so fast that Neji can't understand them. And then they fade away. Perhaps they are going to get a doctor. He has a million questions he wants to ask, so he hopes they'll be able to help. And he hopes they'll come soon. Some things are seriously beginning to bother him.
Why can't he open his eyes? It is a question he often thought of. However painful it is, he's beginning to regain movement of his limbs. And last time he had been anywhere near the state he's in now, when he was thirteen, his eyes had been the first things to work properly.
But now, all he can see is darkness. It's clouding his vision, like a black cloak. He feels vulnerable and he hates it.
He has a hunch…but he desperately hopes it wrong.
They've returned now and Neji can hear Sakura-san, who he was never particularly close to (though he's still happy that she's alive, of course), as she comes in.
"He shouldn't even be awake yet, let alone making any noise!"
And he knows he will have to catch her attention, or else he'd be left here for more undetermined amounts of time. He attempts another groan and it hurts just as much as the first time. He gives a painful shift.
Sakura-san lets out a little gasp.
"See!? We told you! We told you! Didn't we Hinata-chan?"
Hinata-chan? Well this is new…
"H-hai," came Hinata-sama's hesitant reply, and Neji can hear the blush in her tone. She's clearly still unused to the affectionate title.
Sakura-san sighs, but there is a smile in her words, "Alright, alright, I'll check him out. Don't expect too much though. Even if he is conscious, it'll be quite some time before he'll be able to even speak."
There's a rustle of movement as Sakura-san makes her way over to him. There is a soft coolness as her healing hands shift over him, diagnosing his condition.
"Huh," she says finally, a hint of surprise in her tone, "he's healing faster than we thought he would."
She removes her hands from his chest, placing them over his eyes. Inwardly, he is panicking, because whenever a medic-nin did that, he automatically…drifted…off.
He slept for a long while.
When he awoke, it was to shouting. He struggled to make sense of it. What was going on? The voices, one loud and boisterous (Naruto, his mind automatically says) and the other slightly softer (and this is Hinata-sama), both sound angry and upset.
"—don't understand why you can't just heal it!"
That is Naruto, and there is a protective tone to his angry voice. Neji wondered who of his precious people were in danger.
"—sorry Naruto, but the other medic-nins and I did everything we could. But something happened when he saved you."
Ah…so they were talking about him. He listened more intently.
Hinata-sama gave a small gasp of surprise. "His curse-seal mark, of course!"
And Neji immediately understands. It's the automatic defense for the Byakugan of the branch house; a protection against those who would steal their secrets. When a branch member dies, their cursed-seal isn't the only thing to be removed. Their Byakugan is taken away.
He's blind. He's blind and it's forever.
There's a pain in his chest that has nothing to do with his wounds. He suspected—expected really, so he's not surprised, and he would do it again to protect them…that doesn't make the blow any less painful.
It makes sense; for what use could a dead man have for seeing?
He doesn't listen as Hinata-sama and Sakura-san explain this to an upset Naruto, instead drifting off into an uneasy sleep.
His dreams are filled with darkness, the sounds of his comrades dying, and the insane laughter of Madara.
There is no reprieve when he's awake: there is still only darkness. Darkness, and it feels like it's trying to complete what the wooden spikes couldn't.
He doesn't want to think of what this might mean for his position as a Shinobi. He's useless now, so he knows that his career is over. He tries to not sink into a depression at this thought.
But movement is becoming less painful now. It still hurts—again, he wonders how he's alive—but it's much less than it had been last time he was awake. Soon, he hopes, he'll be able to be up and walking. After all the lying down (Sakura-san had roughly pushed him back against his pillow when he tried to get up) his legs had gone numb a long time ago. He mentally swears to take Naruto up on that trip to Ichiraku's.
"Neji?"
Today, his visitor is Tenten. His wonderful Tenten.
She grasps his hand.
"Can you hear me today? Sakura said that you should be able to…I wasn't sure…"
He smiles weakly and manages to squeeze her hand.
…Tenten…
She's crying again, he can feel the water droplets on his hand.
"You can hear me," she breathed. "Oh Neji…I'm so glad."
"Tenten."
The new comer's voice is familiar, but it sounds odd, subdued...flat. Neji found it rare for Rock Lee to be anything but loud and cheerful. It's the first time since he first woke up that he can remember a visit from him.
"Gai-sensei is expecting us," he says, using that same quiet, serious tone.
"Okay," she agree, the screeching of metal indicating that she has drawn back her chair from the bed.
"I'll come back and visit soon," she promises and without giving him any time to think, she brushes a kiss to his cheek. And then she's gone.
The door clicks shut and Neji wonders—still slightly dazed from the kiss—if Lee left along with her.
"They have not told her."
Well, apparently not.
"I think she expects this to be like last time…except…you will not be up and scolding us in a month… I will never get to challenge you to that final duel to decide who's a better ninja…She does not know, and I cannot bear to be the one to tell her. How can I say that your near-brush with death permanently ended your career as a ninja?"
"…Still…d-don't kno-know how…I managed…to live," Neji managed to choke out; speaking for the first time in, what he is sure is, several months.
"Neji!"
He attempted a chuckle that ended in a hacking fit.
"Seems…you and…Ten…ten have…both ta-taken a liking…to my….name."
His, now former, teammate gave a choking laugh.
"'m….glad you…made it through, all of you…"
"As am I!" A hand ruffled his hair and Neji scowled.
"But…if…you…ever do that…again…I'll kick your…ass, blind or…not."
Lee gave a laugh that sounded slightly hollow.
The talked idly for a while, Neji silently rejoicing his returned ability to speak. Lee was able to answer several of the questions he asked. But they both knew they were dancing around the topic. He gave a sigh…no use prolonging the inevitable any longer.
"How…how am I still…alive Lee?"
Lee was silent for a long time before he explained about Obito's words after Neji's death.
"Because you were dead, of that, I am certain."
He explained how Naruto had talked about Neji's will and transferred Kurama's chakra to everyone, increasing their power. Privately, Neji thought that it would have been nice for Naruto to have thought of this plan before he had been stabbed with a bunch of sticks. He didn't say this out loud though.
"When Naruto-kun gave me my share of the chakra, I had been holding onto your body. I wasn't aware that he was also unconsciously giving some chakra to you."
Lee's voice turned pensive. "The battle went on for a long while and you were temporarily forgotten. However…when we came back to the grounds after the battle to…collect your body…you had a pulse…"
Lee gave a small sniffle, signaling that he had begun crying.
"You were alive, though just barely."
Neji frowned in thought. "I see..."
They were both silent for a long while. Neji picked at a loose thread on his sheet as he turned over this new information in his head.
"It was so horrible," Lee said suddenly, hardly above a whisper. "We thought you were dead. You were dead. And in those moments before we found you to be alive, there was nothing we could have done about it. You were gone Neji…"
He stayed silent, allowing Lee to sob.
"I'm sorry," Neji said finally, as Lee managed to control his tears.
"It's fine now…I just wish…"
Lee gave a sigh.
"Never mind," he said. "I will be late if I stay any further."
Neji heard him walk to the door and he was struck with an undeniable urge.
"Lee?"
Lee came to a stop.
"Don't let this get you down—Promise me. I may be out of commission, but I'm still your Eternal Rival, right?"
He heard the door opening, and, for a moment, he wondered if Lee would leave without answering.
Lee sighed, sounding much older than his age. "Yes. Th-thank you Neji. I…appreciate your concern…I—my E-eternal Rival…You should get some rest."
And with that, the door clicked shut.
His heart clenched painfully. Lee…
~oOo~
He was finally allowed to move from the confinement of his bed. Still not allowed to leave the room, he took to sitting in a chair by his window. He liked to feel the soft breeze pushing across his face.
He was sitting like this when his uncle came to visit him. The man had visited him a lot, back when he had still been 'asleep'. He had never said much, mostly he had sat in silence. But that had been fine with Neji.
Once it had been announced that he was officially awake, Hiashi had stopped coming. Neji wasn't sure if his uncle was ashamed of him (he was after all, a blind Hyūga), or if perhaps he was guilty. Nevertheless, this had been his first visit in weeks.
They sat in silence for a while, Neji's face still turned toward the breeze. He could smell the food of stalls in the distance, hear a bird twittering madly, and the cheerful talk of the people down below. Peace, he thought, was very, very…peaceful.
"They've said you may be able to leave soon," Hiashi said, after several moments of Neji contemplating and his uncle sitting in awkward silence.
"That's good," Neji said, his voice still slightly gravelly. One of the many medic-nin's had said that it would forever be like this. Apparently the wood had done more damage than was thought.
More tense silence between them. And then…
"I'm sorry."
Neji whipped his face around toward his uncle. He couldn't have heard right. His uncle was apologizing? He very rarely ever acknowledge that he was wrong (though, he was much better than he once was), and it was ever rarer that he should ever actually say the words. "W-what?"
"I'm sorry," his uncle repeated. "For being unable to—to help you. And also, for avoiding coming to seeing you." He sighed heavily. "I was afraid. I was afraid to face you, because…I've failed you. "
Neji was silent.
"And I've failed your father," he sighed. "I wonder if he would hate me? I didn't protect his son."
Neji turned his uncle's words around in his head. The man was obviously distraught. And he thought Neji's close encounter with death was his fault.
Neji frowned. First Lee, and now his uncle.
"It isn't your fault uncle. It was my decision to protect Hinata-sama and Naruto—"
"—but if I'd protected my daughter the way I should have, then—"
Neji shook his head. "No. I was closest; you would have never reached them in time."
He turned his face back towards the breeze. He missed being outside…
…He missed missions, and sparring, and Gai-sensei's crazy babble. He missed being a proud Hyūga, able to see everything (well, that may be the Hyūga pride talking, but there was a point!). He missed Tenten's cheerful—beautiful—face. He missed it all dearly.
But, despite all that…
"I finally understand my father," he said finally. "I understand what it means, what he did. To protect the ones you love."
He turned back towards his uncle, who breath had sharpened. There was the smell of salt in the air, and Neji wondered if the man was crying. Then, he reached up and touched his own face.
His hand met tears he hadn't even noticed.
"I wouldn't take it back. If I had to make the decision over, it would be the same. Saving the life of Hinata-sama was worth my eyesight. I don't regret that."
It would be hard. So, so hard. The path he was on now would be painful…He wasn't completely at rest with what had happened. But there would be no regrets. He was a resilient man, and he'd deal with whatever came his way. Blind, or not.
So, what'd you think? I'd like some feedback, if you please!
This story is pure wishful thinking. I have no doubt that Neji will stay dead. Though it pains me to admit as much. Ah, well, can't change the past.
Please review and tell me what you think!
