(JUNE)
He is gone, my light I am surrounded in darkness… Day he has vanished. Tears stroll down my cheeks they burn and I realise that I am crying. No June hold it together I tell myself Sadness is the first sign of weakness. You need to be strong .Something does not feel right he was hiding something I could tell. What could possibly be wrong? He doesn't forgive me. Seeing, me everyday reminds him of the things he has lost. His mother who was shot right in front of him and I couldn't do anything about it, his brother who died to save his life because he was in jail BECAUSE I PUT HIM THERE. I tricked him I failed to realise what was right in front of me. How could I have possibly thought that everything would be ok? He said" I love you" and I didn't even say it back! I insulted his paper-clip ring! He lost Tess …You need to be strong I keep telling myself but it's no use now the tears are flowing uncontrollably. I am sat in the corner crying. Metais I need him now. Now more than ever. I need him to tell me that everything will be fine. NO! Sadness IS the first sign of weakness. I am strong. I am strong. Tomorrow is a new day a new beginning. I will forgive and forget…
I have settled back into a routine. Each day I do the same thing. I get out of bed. Get my uniform. Iron it until no crease can be seen .Spotless perfect… I see Day every day. We are the glue that is holding the Republic together. I give him a glance and then a slight smile. I don't hate him. I am not one of those clingy girlfriends. I am solider in the republic and I can't afford to be weak. Outside I may look tough. Yet inside I still I get a shiver down my spine when I see his blonde hair move in wind and his brilliant blue eyes like when he emerged out of nothingness and saved me. I will forget the past. I just need time.