I have no idea what on Earth possess me to even come up with such an odd story.
Dean Winchester had given up hunting. He had gotten seriously hurt or killed so many times, he felt there was no point to go on further and let Sam hunt on his own. Dean made a nice life for himself in little town outside of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. He opened his own mechanic shop that was doing better than expected. His beloved impala was always in view and no one was allowed to touch her at all. He bought a little house next door to his shop, which he furnished modestly and manly. He wore a gold ring on his left ring finger, yet no one has seen him with a wife. His own workers started questing if he was truly married since the only pictures he had were of the impala.
Dean did have someone to come home to; Castiel. Castiel would often surprise Dean with his own personal pie. He would take time out of doing angel stuff to bake for his favorite human. Dean had a long day at the shop. He comes home with his white tank top stained with oil. His face was dirty, and he looked worn out. Castiel stood at the door, he was dressed in deep blue pajamas Dean bought for him and had a gold band on his left ring finger also, "Rough day?" Dean grumbled, "What does it look like?" He took off his shoes and went towards the bathroom. "I made a bath for you. I figured you'd need it." Castiel said to him, he smiled, "You're not too manly for a bath are you?" Dean froze for a moment and looked at him, "Bite me" and went into the bathroom and shut the door. Castiel looked at the pie he left out on the coffee table.
An hour later, Dean gets out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel, "Cas? I figured we could squeeze in some sex before bed. Cas? Castiel?" "Down here... down here..." Castiel said, Dean looked at the coffee table and saw a pie. The pie had a regular crust, chocolate drizzle that looked a lot like Castiel's hair, and two blue berries and whipped cream lines that may have been eyes, and a whipped cream smile. "Cassstiel?" Dean questioned, looking at the strange appearing pie. "Hello Dean." Castiel pie greeted. "The hell happened to you!?" Dean demanded, "Why are you a pie?" "I don't know." Castiel answered, "I just am." "Well change back!" Dean ordered. The pie didn't respond. Dean took the pie and shook it, nothing went out of place, "Dammit Cas, change back!" "I can't. I tried and I can't." Castiel pie responded sadly.
"Dean, this seems awfully weird. I think a trickster's involved." Castiel pie said. Dean shook his head as he sat on his couch, "Not a trickster, but a Gabriel." "Maybe..." Castiel pie sighed, "This is a cruel joke that Gabriel would play." "No one knows we're married, right?" Dean questioned, "You didn't tell anyone did you?" Castiel pie could only answer since he couldn't shake his pie head, "Who'd believe me if I told them? Dean Winchester, the ultimate ladie's man being married to Castiel, an angel who doesn't understand almost anything related to sexual relations, especially between two men. No one would believe me."
Dean took Castiel pie to bed. He slept next to his pie husband and tried endlessly not to eat him. Before he went to bed, Dean asked, "So what kind of pie are you?" Castiel pie answered truthfully, "Triple berry with cherry." Dean looked at him lovingly and hungrily before falling asleep. Castiel pie stayed awake and listened to Dean sleep. It was all he could do since he couldn't watch him or fondle him what so ever. The night went on so long, Castiel pie even tried to sleep.
The next day, Dean went to work. Castiel pie was put on the coffee table before he left so he could be out in the open in the big room. He heard foot steps, "Who's there?" "I'm surprised you're still a pie." said a teasing male voice. Castiel pie's filling boiled, "Gabriel!" Gabriel looked down at Castiel pie and laughed, "This is the best thing I've ever done!" "Why?" escaped from Castiel pie's cream lips. "Oh, you'll know soon enough." Gabriel teased as he left. Castiel pie was very mad, his fruity center was burning under his crust skin.
Dean came home after a full day and saw that Castiel was still a pie, "Still a pie, huh?" Castiel pie exhaled, "It was Gabriel who did this to me and he won't say why." Dean was furious, "Gabriel! Get your feathery ass down here and change him back!" "That wouldn't be any fun." Gabriel said as he appeared, "Besides, I like Castiel like this. He smells so delicious and I could actually eat him." Castiel pie got sad, "Please turn me back, Gabriel. I'll do anything." "Anything?" Gabriel smirked, "Fine. I'll turn you back, but after doing one request." "Name it!" Dean demanded Gabriel's smirk widened, "I want you, Dean, to kiss Castiel, as a pie without intentionally eating him in any way." Castiel pie looked nervous and Dean was still fighting any urge to eat him. "He does smell really good... and I bet be tastes great..." Dean said out loud to himself.
"Deeeean." Castiel pie moaned worriedly. Gabriel gave him a quick glance and back at Dean, "Just one, quick kiss. I'm sure you can handle that much." Dean inhaled and took Castiel pie close to his face and quickly kissed him without closing his eyes. In a flash of light, Castiel was normal again. Dean was stunned and Castiel was confused. "Like my Princess and the Toad spell?" Gabriel smiled as he left, knowing Dean was going to punch him if he stayed. Castiel pulled Dean to him and kissed him passionately. When he broke away, he smiled, "You love me more than pie?" "What is that supposed to mean?" Dean asked, anger mixed with confusion, "You know I love you more than pie!" "Gabriel didn't think so." Castiel sighed. "Fuck him." Dean mumbled. Castiel looked confused, "But he's my..." "It's an expression, Cas." Dean said.
Realizing he still needed a shower after a full day work, he pulled Castiel to the bathroom, "I'll show you how much I love you that would make Gabriel blush red." The rest of the night was wet, hot, and Castiel slept happily in his Dean's arms.