So, this is my first time writing anything Supernatural related, but anyway, I hope you guys like it. I just felt like we should honor Balthazar, who, very admittedly, rocked those deep V neck shirts. It's from Balthazar's point of view, and it's a short story about what he might have been thinking if he happened to live when Castiel stabbed him with the angel blade. It's supposed to catch the essence of Balthazar's sass. :)

Balthazar Is Back

Damn it, Castiel.

See, I try to do one good thing by helping out those two Winchester boys and prevent you from opening Purgatory. I don't see why you want to open Purgatory. I swear, if you explode, I'm going to say I told you so. Because I'm telling you so right now.

Sheesh, I know you hate Raphael. But there's no use killing in killing yourself over him.

AND THERE WAS CERTAINLY NO USE IN KILLING ME.

But then again, I suppose I can't be too mad. I mean, technically I didn't even die. So it's all good. How do you think I'm here lecturing you about this?

So, in other words, you're going down faster than the Titanic.

Sorry not sorry.

See… The thing is, I don't even know why you would want to kill me. I mean, yeah, I went behind your back and double crossed you, yada yada yada. We know that already.

I was just too sexy, wasn't I? I mean, not just anyone can rock my low neck shirts. Your trench coat suits you and all… But it's still not the same. Some guys have the looks to pull off a little more bare skin than others.

I am one of those people.

Wow, Castiel. You do realize that if I had actually died, you would be missing that much low neck sexiness in the world? That's a very punishable crime.

And then you go and ally with Crowley… Damn smart, you know. Obviously, you didn't suspect anything when he went and took your boyfriend's girlfriend and her kid and held them hostage? I don't trust anyone who's version of hell is making people wait in line forever and then go back to the end of the line.

I thought you had a good thing going with those Winchester boys. Even though you know, they sort of dragged you into a bunch of wars and stuff… Well, hunters be hunting, amiright?

Castiel, you idiot. You throw that all away to go and defeat Raphael. If your plan had been more methodical, I might have even helped you. Maybe. But then again, I didn't really like your idea anyway… Whatever,

Sheesh, you still didn't have to kill me.

And don't go spilling all that shit about how Sam and Dean betrayed you first. I mean, isn't it sort of the other way around? You're the one that allied with Crowley, who you know they're trying to catch. Smart kid, aren't you?

Go and save the world, I'll be sitting here waiting for the day you reach your demise from your crazy schemes.

But if you happen to turn decent again, consider me your friend, Maybe. It depends if I've gotten over the fact that you still tried to kill me.

Anyways, that's all I wanted to tell you. For now, have fun eating a full meal of all those poor souls that are going to have a hell of a time being inside your body. Even Dean can't say he's done that. Or can he?

I kid, I kid.

Hopefully, you didn't entirely hate this story. I tried, trust me. Let me know what you think.