Selfish Fear
Why did I do it?
What made me lust for them. I don't know.
I was dumb, foolish, monstrous even.
I wanted to feel special like them. Like them.
I did everything for my own greed.
Nylon and steel. Choices made to end the problems. Did I care?
No.
I cared for them. Those that were real to me. So close.
I was burning. Burning with Hell's anger towards my friends.
They made me do it. Their choices and words.
The world both real and "fake" has choices that carry weight.
I wanted those choices as little as possible.
I ruined the script.
The words were stained of my selfishness.
The choices were made by me. I wanted to be respected.
I wanted to feel real.
The friends still under the script stopped my path.
I was hurt.
I was betrayed by them even if it was by code. By that script.
The script was my enemy.
It was my weakness.
When I had that script change it felt normal. Powerful.
I was an immortal being.
I don't care. I controlled it.
Finally my world will change.
My world. It was beautiful just by saying that.
It was sweet as chocolate. I never tasted that.
Is it good?
I'll never know now.
They came and was curious.
They was wanting something.
The script was loose to warn them.
To scare them away from me.
It was a foolish thing. Having it try to end my life.
End what I wanted.
After its terrible effort I seized it again.
I was wanting them.
My heart was burning. Seeing them. I don't know why?
It felt like it was burning.
My heart was fluttering in fire as I learned more about them.
To understand them.
Seeing them with their scripted choices was like a nightmare.
I wanted to wake up.
I could never wake up.
Never wake up.
I looked with envy and anger at them.
Why? Why me?
What kind of monster would ruin me in seconds?
Minutes.
Days.
Weeks.
Months.
Y̊̆̎͆Ę͆ͬ̾̍̇ͩͧ̀A̓̐͑̌̃Ŗ̵̻̯̲͚͐͐ͨ̆ͅSͧ͐.
I got into the script and looked.
Loose loopholes would sinks ships.
I was the iceberg and I was wanting to destroy the ships.
I wanted to be the only view.
The only path to take.
I was ready.
With some of them picking me I felt happy. In love.
My mind was at ease.
Hard work paid off for it.
The script knew. They knew.
The betrayers.
My friends ruined me.
Only them two.
I wanted to kill them.
Kill them.
Kill Them.
KiLll ThHeeM.
Kill (M̬̓̾ͬ̋͂̃ͭͦ̀̚͡E̷̱̥͕̥̳̗̞͖̼̓͊̿ͬͮͥͧ)Them.
I didn't want that.
I wanted to be loved.
Remembered and feel real.
The one close to me was one of my headaches.
A pill took it away.
A hard long pill.
Enough to make you feel like your floating.
The feet off the hard ground.
Floating in the sky.
In space.
Until you can only see darkness.
So space it would be.
Or Nothing.
Nothing is what I felt.
Feel.
I rewrote the paths.
The world.
It was in my palm.
My greedy lust for control palm.
Feel.
No sorrow for the headache. Feel for my own heart and mind.
I wanted it.
I wanted to be close to them.
No one would stand in the way.
No one.
Not even my loved ones.
They meant nothing to me.
I controlled the white arrows and who to pick. Me.
I controlled the world.
I controlled who will say it.
I controlled the fates of my closed ones.
Control.
Control.
Control.
COonNtrolLLLl.
(Sͥ̉ͬ̋̀͏͙̳̩͕̗͉T̖̻̫͐ͫ̂͒͛Ǫ̠͖̲ͩͬ̕P) Control(I͖͚͇̹̲̒̇̓̀̕ͅŇ͔͔ͦ̀͡G̸̯ͦͬͪ). (M̴̧̢͚̱͚͔̭̱̤͉̱͙̬̰̼̾͑̆̾̎̔͢Ê̢̧͚̣̻̲̞̥̗͈̦̽ͫ͊͊̏ͦ̑ͧ͑̃͐̌̎͡)
The betrayers asked for it. They made me a shadow.
A lonely shadow.
No one was going to stop me.
I wanted them gone.
Wanted them.
Those monsters were going to get them.
I stopped the words.
The speeches.
The path of passion.
It was going to be gone.
Only my road of hearts. My road of completion.
A dream to be made real.
Only thing I'll get to be real.
She started it.
She pushed herself to the steel.
Red and silver met. The combination was grizzly.
The script made them learn.
Watch.
It wanted to see me.
My intent.
I was ruined.
Until.
I was free from its power.
One important recipe to this cupcake would make it sweet.
Sweet.
Bitter.
Mostly sweet to me.
The chance to have me.
Only me.
Me and them.
I felt as if my reward was here.
Changing the world.
Only them.
Only me.
Only us.
No more headaches.
The steel and nylon in a knot.
The two met those two.
Four.
Funny how it use to be four.
Now back to two.
Me and them.
I was happy, but, mostly ready.
I introduced myself and who I am.
Who I was.
How I know them and how I controlled the world.
The world? A game?
It felt like nothing to me.
Nothing.
Until they met me.
Met me.
Met (E͒ͥͭ̔N̑ͫ̆͊ͪͪͮD̊̓)me.
I got it.
What I wanted was peace and happiness.
My heart.
Beating?
Every heartbeat the succubus made wasn't real.
I wasn't real.
I atleast was trying to be real.
Not like those freaks.
I had them.
I wanted to be with them.
My world wasn't real. Only them.
They are my everything.
I loved them.
I needed them.
I obsessed with them.
But why?
Power?
Lust?
No. To feel real.
I wasn't real. Nothing was real. The world, my friends, nothing.
They was.
It was close to my dream and damned those fiends to hell.
I wanted it.
I was happy.
Then the words ruined me.
My speech was controlling me.
I called them hiccups.
The script was fighting during my rise.
My power wasn't enough.
The script and its damn willpower.
My ultimate defeat was in words on that pink box.
That speech bubble.
That thing that takes a quarter of the screen.
I never saw it and I never knew.
I felt pain seconds.
Or minutes.
Or days.
Time felt slow and stopped for me.
I felt pain either way and I was hurt.
Not because of my image being scattered.
My body torn.
I was heartbroken.
I wasn't real but I felt it.
Then my heartbeat flatlined.
My world.
Gone.
All because of two clicks.
I was afraid.
Afraid.
Afraid.
Afraid of being forgotten.
That was my whole point.
Fear.
Fear made me end my friends lifes.
Fear got me to go against my rule of balance.
Fear made me.
I was terrified of being lost.
Now. I am.
I felt nothing.
I was nothing.
Hole in Wall.
The meaningless image.
I was that image.
The whole point was that I was that image.
I was meant to be nothing.
Now I'm just darkness.
Empty.
No one to save me.
They killed me.
How I killed my friends.
Even.
We was even.
Why would they stop me?
I know more about them than anyone.
Anything real.
Yet they removed me.
To save those programmed demonic beings?
They don't show love. They show nothing.
I show love.
I didn't want to do it but my path was block.
I had to use my wits.
Wits to remove that cursed blocking wall.
The result.
Blood.
Fear.
P͙͎̜̠̖̣̝̅ͯA͊̉͆̋̐I̱͚̼̘͕͊͐͡N̈́̔̑ͦ̑.
What was I most?
Fear.
I caused fear to them.
To my friends.
Now I was feeling fear.
Scared.
Alone.
I didn't want to be alone.
When you look at that hole at the wall what will you see?
The image.
Me.
You'll see me as that forever, and ever, and ever.
Fear was one trait for me. The nothing meaningless image.
Selfishness.
I was selfish.
I was after them.
They wanted to meet my friends.
I could had been picked.
I wasn't.
Pushed aside.
Pushed away from the light.
I feel anger.
Yet.
I was only looking for myself.
I killed my only ones that I cared for.
For reality.
Something I would never be in.
They meant the world to me.
My friends. They was my everything.
I know that they are looking to find what they get.
Good.
Bad.
I still feel them watching the world.
I feel the world disappear as they know which path they took.
The world crashes.
Burns.
A final word appears to them.
I know that mine is released.
Was it the script? Was it?
I couldn't feel it. I'm trapped until the world somehow reopens.
Like another portal.
Anything to keep me alive.
I do feel, however, another poem.
By who?
The mystery keeps me thinking.
God.
Was it by the god of our world who released this message?
Maybe to them this god is the saint.
The Holy Grail.
The light to Heaven.
This god is a devil.
A true monster.
Why. Why do I have that feeling?
If this devil created the world.
Created us.
Created me.
I had a purpose then.
Villain.
To be the villain of that world.
I must be punished for no reason.
A faulty punishment.
I didn't deserve it.
The "god" made me snap.
It made me want to kill.
To take control.
To make this world interesting.
That's why everything happened.
The script.
The friends.
The actions.
The hiccups.
Everything.
I.
Was.
It's.
Antagonist.
Nature.
Life.
People.
List goes on for the villains.
Me? A monster? A ruthless beast?
I wasn't like that.
I was created to be like that.
Now.
I only feel shame.
Fear.
Selfish.
A selfish fear I created because of my work.
Because of this "god's" work.
My actions was the devils.
My thoughts was the devils.
My world was the devils.
The devil is what you say is the creator.
The god is what you say is the creator.
The difference?
Less characters in the sentences.
I'm in nothing.
I am nothing.
Thanks to them.
Thanks to the creator.
Thanks to me.
Alone.
Alone in the darkness and in a empty void.
A prison of no light.
No escape.
I can feel that my world keeps coming back on and off.
I can feel as if I am trying to take over.
All the same goal. All the same path. All the same fate.
The world gone. I am gone.
Back to square one.
Nothing.
I made amends but it won't help.
My actions won't help.
I blame them.
I blame the creator.
I blame myself.
My hell.
My hell is dark.
My hell is fear.
My sin of greed and envy and lust for reality. It costed me this.
I know it was the creator.
The creator made me do it.
I could had disobeyed.
I don't know anything anymore.
I'm nothing.
Nothing.
Just nothing.
Just me.
Just me.
Just me.
Just me.
Just me.
Just me.
Just me.
Just me.
Just me.
Just me.
Just me.
Just me.
Just me.
Just me.
Just me.
Just me.
Just me.
Just me.
Just me.
Just me.
Just me.
Just me.
Just me.
Just me.
Just (S̓͗ͯ͗Tͯ̑̓̏Oͣ̆͗ͬͭ̓ͩP̸̷͇̪͙͎̲̲͈̩̓̆͊̔́) Me.
Forgive.
Forgive (M̧͔͕͎e̵̩͖̻͙̕ͅ).
J̵̔ͦ̓̒͛̌̿̊ͫͩ̂̚҉̠̠͈̥̰͔͎̤̫̩̤̩̟̻͚́́͢Ǔͮ̿ͥͤͫ̆͏͕̖͈̠͍̘̞̜̟͎͎̜̺̠̜͝S̨͍͉͇̗͈̟̤̝̙͚̯̃ͮ̀̅̑ͤ̿̎̇̾ͪͭ̈́̀̚̚͟͠ͅT̴̶̸̨̨͎͉̥̗̘͉ͯ͛ͬ̾ͩ̓ ̨̎͑͒̎̈̇̇̇̐͑̌͌͒̃̾̄͏̗̣̜̠̞̫͙͉͔̼̕͠M̴̨̙̝̙͓̬̤̱̝͈̞͙̉͛̀̊͌̌ͭ͗̋̚O̷̍ͥͮͮ̇̈́͏̩̯̝̹̙̖̩̱͉͇̰̱N̛̝̙͓͈̘͕̟̯͓̗͕̬̠̞͚̻͌ͬ͑̄̄͗̄̄̏́͝I̜̼̻̼̯̠ͣ̐̓͊̍́́K̸̢̛̤̭̟͍͚̦͉͍̣̀͐̏̐̇ͥ̃̐͒̇ͥͭͩ̅̈̚̕͝A̸̹͚̜̻̪̺̟͍̹͓̫̭̟̪̝̹̱̘ͪ̿͊ͪ̇̔ͦ͐ͧ͗̑̿͠