Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece, only the plot of this story.
"I awaited the hand of doom. The hand that would decide my fate. The hand poised over the lever that may possibly reunite me with my previous generations. I've journeyed long and hard for this day. I'ved hanged on trees, been buried underground, flew through the air and been underwater, all in different parts of the world. I'm international and multicultural. Until one day, after being mashed, peeled,shredded and chopped,I was tossed in a boiling slippery liquid. But the torture didn't stop there. I was scooped up, placed onto a round,hard object, only to be stabbed and shoved into a dark,wet cave. Where I was mashed, pummeled and grinded by bone-hard masses. Then, I was forcefully shoved into a long tube by this flabby, bumpy thing. I fell down,down,down and landed in an acidic bowl. I was guided through dark dank tunnels until I reached my destination.
Finally the hand pressed down. I was sucked downwards in a raging whirlpool as I was torn from limb to limb. Pieces of my flesh were violently separated from my body. And while all this was happening, I couldn't scream, couldn't move, and couldn't do anything. I was paralyzed. I was sucked down into the hole and towards the sewer."
Nami: Robin.
Robin: Yes, Navigator-san?
Nami: Did you just tell a story about poop?
Zoro: Che, crazy woman.
Sanji: DON'T INSULT ROBIN-CHAN!(But deep down inside Sanji thought that was the most vulgar and disgusting story he's ever heard, seriously who tells a story in the POV of poop, not that he would ever admit it)
Franky: WAAH! IT'S SO SAD! WAAAAH! *pause* Wait. It's about poop?
Brook: Yo. Ho. Ho. That story chilled me to the bones. But I don't have-wait I do have bones. Yo. Ho. Ho. Skull joke.
Ussop: And they say I'm bad at telling stories.
Luffy: That doesn't happen to my poop. Mine stretches. It's like silly putty.
Everyone: WE DID NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT! AND HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?
That night Chopper could be heard wailing," THE POOP. I'VED KILLED SO MANY POOPS. WAAAH! I'M A MURDERER. WAAAH!" in his sleep. No one slept in the men's cabin that night. It was discovered tomorrow morning that Chopper has developed a never before heard of case of "I-can't-poop-in-the-toilet-itis" The crew is now trying to find a cure.
The End.