Kakashi dropped several dozen pounds of camping equipment and looked around at the clearing in the forest he had found. It looked exactly like the other 10 miles of forstry and the midnight sky blanketed it further," Yes this is definitely the place. Now for the next phase of your training, set up all this stuff." Kakashi walked through the mess he had made, found the nearest tree and slouched while doing a complicated hand gesture in a second his hand burst into flame, the pain was tremendous by he had long ago learned how to ignore, he used his free hand to read his favorite book by fire light. Soon the entire camp site was engulfed in the horrible smell of burning flesh.
"This is stupid." Sasuke said as he started wondering off.
Soon the scent of burning flesh started to fade. Kakashi hastily read the last paragraph he was just as the flame died, leaving only bone he bite his tongue in pain and waited impatiently for a healing jutsu to take affect. He quickly became bored without his book and started peeling off bits of his crispy skin, rolling them into little balls, seeing how much pressure he could apply before they broke. It was only slightly painful and was a great way to pass the time.
Sakura and Naruto were spending the entire time shifting through the massive amount of items Kakashi brought for any thing that could
have any sort of use. None of the items could be called camping equipment, there electronics of every variety from labtops to toasters,
a deconstructed canoe, and metal pipes that seemed to connect to nothing, it looked like a lot of the things needed to be plugged into a power
outlet and there didn't seem to be anyway to accomplish that. The two of them wondered if Kakashi had stolen all the stuff. As they continued
shifting through the junk they discovered nearly all of it was broken, most of the things were in more than one piece and a lot of the pieces
were missing.
Naruto lashed out at his pile of ipods he had gathered, all of them looked like they had been run over with a truck
"Why does that idiot Sasuke leave us with all the work!"
He started walking in the same direction Sasuke left," This is stupid." he complained.
Naruto stopped and made a loud declaration to no one with his hand proudly in the air.
I'm not going to just sit around anymore! I'm tired of him putting me down! He thinks his so great with his perfect grades, and fire breathing,
weird eye trick, and gorgeous face. I'm going to tell that Sasuke my true feelings."
Sakura found a plastic bag filled with batteries of all sizes and brands and a sheet of paper in she got her hopes up that maybe she could actually, she examined the paper only to find it simply said 'dead batteries' the batteries fell out of the bag like marbles as Sakura replied," K, fag."
Naruto's was getting a headache from the 400 foot tall fox rolling on the floor laughing inside,"Oooh! She got you with that one!
I wish I hadn't killed so many people, there would be more people around to hate you."
"F'off Kyubi"
"How about you F'off, I'm a lot cooler than you and the only reason you even have any fangirls."
"That's it. When we get back home we're going to watch the Fox and the Hound."
"No! I'll behave myself. Please don't torture me with cute foxes!"
"One more word out of you and I'm also watching Robin hood."
Sakura looked down at her now, twice as large share of junk to sort through, "That idiot Naruto. He's just going to make Sasuke angry... he's so cute when he's angry. Naruto will go up and be like 'Hey blockhead I'm better than, hey blockhead let's have gay sex' and than Sasuke will get that adorable look on his face like he cares about no one in the world but himself and he'll stab Naruto in the face and Naruto will die and than a single drop of Naruto's blood will go on my dress and than Sasuke will start crying and be like 'I stained my beautiful Sakara's dress with the blood of that blockhead!' and I'll be like 'it's ok Sasuke I love you' and than he'll grab me by my hand and be like 'no, come on, How about I go buy you beautiful new satin velvet dress with a frilly trim and pictures of ivory birds on it, and a ruby locket to go with it and then'
Sakura suddenly realized she was the only one still doing anything related to the mission," This is stupid."
She dropped her hands full of electronics and walked towards Kakashi who's hand had finally healed.
" What exactly are we doing here." she asked.
Kakashi paused, did a jutsu and burst his hand into flame again and continued reading as he spoke," Do you want to know why I am burning my hand Sakura?" Sakura assumed her question went unheard," Not really. You do weird stuff all the times." Sakura remembered the old Kakashi before the accident. He had gotten into a fight with a powerful ninja and even though Kakashi had won the battle he was stabbed in the head and suffered serious brain damage. He should have been hospitalized but he's on a teacher's salary he didn't have the money.
Kakashi's voice changed, it seemed to echo of a heart broken and a long lost love," The body of a ninja is just a tool to be used. This tool is is divided into 5 zones in which chakra can be focused: head, arms, legs, and body. The head is the easiest to focus on, the arm is the second easiest. I remember when I was young I went on a camping mission with my sensei. Back than I would read books by lighting my jaw on fire and than healing it. One day, I forget the hand gestures to perform a face healing jutsu, every since than I have worn this mask."
Kakashi looked deeply into his flaming hand," That is why Ninja must always practice and train everyday!! Remember that Sakura!" Sakura had stopped paying attention once Kakashi started talking about boring chakra things, after she realized Kakashi had stopped talking she asked again," What's the point of this mission, none of the things you brought can be used for camping, and this part of the forest is just as boring as any other part."
Kakashi looked up from his book. Underneath his headguard the crimson glow of sharingon punctured his reply," I forgot really." He went back to reading and his face lit up with a smile, " I'm sure I'll remember soon though, I have a great memory!"
Naruto stomped his way to Sasuke who was over looking a ravine, with his back to Naruto, and flung his finger in Sasuke's direction," Sasuke! You can't just leave the team when you don't feel like doing work! Your a selfish bastard who only..." At that moment Sasuke began to around, as more and more face became revealed Naruto had more trouble continuing his sentence," And your not.." he stuttered
What's that on his face? Was he smiling? Sasuke almost never smiles? No, get ahold of yourself Naruto "And the reason I get so upset with you treating me bad is it hurts more than when other people do it!"
Naruto felt his body become lighter and his eyes become heavier. The darkness of the area blurred into a single blackness, illuminated only by Sasuke's smiling face. Sasuke started walking directly towards him. 'No, must finish talking'!
Speaking became difficult so Naruto gave up trying to form any sort of proper sentence and just poured his mind out. "It upsets me because I don't care what most people think about me, but I care about you. I care about you because I love you Sasuke Uchiha!" Naruto lowered his head and released his nervousness he had been storing, the air was cold, and the sweat on his body, absorbed it and made it even worst," Idiot! He's going to reject you now. That's all people do is reject you. And than being on the same team as him will be even worst."
At that moment Naruto realized Sasuke was standing less than a foot from him, looking directly at him. He looked up at him, trying to hide his facial expression. He felt himself being absorbed by the blackness in Sasuke's eyes, it seemed like the moment would go on forever. The anticipation as seconds went by made Naruto's feet weaker. Sasuke turned his head and continued walking at a casual pace. "Bastard" Naruto whispered.
The wind carried Sasuke's voice across to were Naruto was," Shut up Naruto."
Naruto made a fist.
"Your really cute when your silent."
A huge grin went over Naruto's face. He ran off back to the main clearing" Hey Sakura!" Came Naruto's voice from the clearing,"
As Kakashi read his book by a freshly lit hand, a realization oozed into his brain like a slug slowly working it's way into his ear. As his new found view of reality began to settle in he slowly closed his book until he concluded that there was something more important than reading about a 12 year boy being forced to cross dress in a large pink dress," Hey guys I remembered what we went here for!"
This news gathered the children like an old man with candy, It was a rare and nostalgic time when Kakashi actually knew what was going on," There is a small meteor heading towards this part of the forest. I can't remember exactly what we are supposed to do but I'm about 60% sure I was supposed to take us here so we could all get killed."
The gang looked at the huge pile of electronics surrounding, boom boxes, laptops, what looked like half of a washing machine. Than up at the sky, there was definitely a meteor heading towards them.
Realizing he wouldn't have time to finish his book Kakashi reopened and went directly the ending and found all the characters died of sexually transmitted diseases.
The depressed ninja shook his hand in silence for about 30 seconds till the fire was gone he got up and cleared his throat," Anyway. I think this is a good time to talk about the duties of a ninja." Kakashi had heard this boring speech many times from his past sensei and now wished he remembered how it went better "Now that meteor won't be landing for another 3 or 4 minutes and it's small enough so we could walk away from the explosion and not get hurt, but to do that would be to shame yourself as ninjas, to shame your village, your family."
He looked at Naruto and Sasuke," Well anyway the family part isn't that important."
The children looked towards the sky again as Kakashi realized he had not only forgotten the lines from the speech but also the meaning of it, he was pretty sure it had something to do tools. Tools. 'Ah' He said to himself he continued speaking as his team all looked at each other for answers
"You see a ninja is a tool, his life is devoid of any meaning except the order he is given. Any sort of free thought or action will result in shame. And for some reason shame is really bad. I'm sorry I can't remember why we have to do this seemingly meaningless sacrifice, or even if our orders really were to die it probably wasn't but..."
Kakashi scratched his head and realized he was not even able to convince himself of his duty to die, he wish he hadn't spoiled the ending now. He sat himself next to the 3 and from their expression realized they were thinking the same thing as he was. Kakashi was stubborn though and had remembered more about the speech.
"Besides. A ninja who leaves their village is treated to a life worst than death. You could never disobey an order and go back to Konoha. No other village would trust a traitor unless of course you gave them something very valuable in return." Kakashi paused again, his memory wasn't what it used to be, he was sure he gave this speech before the accident and it made more sense.
"Like me for instance. I know the secrets of the sharingon and a ton of classified information about the village. I could easily go to one of our enemies village and receive a much higher paying job. But that's just me, I'm not going to leave you guys." He said with a smile at the end. The aged and confused old man paused again. An idea flashed across the sensei's mind
"Sasuke, what if you and I went and joined Orochimaru. He seems to have liked you ever since you got that weird tattoo and I know all the leaf villages weakness." The two of them got up, leaving Sakura and Naruto staring at the sky. Sasuke run and grabbed a toaster off the ground that was still in good condition.
The two Ninjas were busy desecrating their forehead guards when Kakashi got another idea.
"And Naruto! You've got that demon fox thingy, your a legend among our enemies, if you joined them you would be treated like a rock star.
The only person who would still treat you like crud is Sasuke. I'm not sure why you didn't just do that from the start"
Kakashi looked at himself, and than at the two boys.
"Betraying the village?" He thought," This isn't how the speech is supposed to go, maybe I said it wrong? Maybe If I remembered what our mission was? Is this really the right thing? Dammit! I forgot my last name again. My memory really isn't what it used to be." He scratched his lower face,"Konoha said they wouldn't cover the medical bills for my face because it's not a business expense, I'm sure Orochimaru would be nicer."
Sakura and Naruto began defacing their headbands as well.
"Not you Sakura!" Yelled Kakashi," You don't have any ties to important people, aren't part of a famous clan, don't have hidden powers, or know any secrets. They wouldn't accept you. You're better off dead."
Sakura looked at her scratched up head band and pouted. Naruto jumped up and down for a few seconds and ran off to join Sasuke with a smile.
The trio of boys waved good bye to Sakura as they set off on their new adventure as traitors and villains. Several seconds later the meteor hit Sakura. She died a horribly painful death.