Hey everyone! It's been a while since I've posted anything, so I have lots to say, but I'll wait until the end of this chapter to say it. So for now, just read and enjoy!

Dentist

In which Ella partakes in a rather unpleasant procedure.

"Please don't do this! Please!"

I had been sitting on the front porch, flipping aimlessly through a magazine, when I heard the Gasman screaming and squealing in the backyard. My eyes widened, and immediately I stood up and ran to the back of the house. Max and company were visiting this week, and that meant you never knew what was going to happen.

When I sprinted towards Gazzy's desperate pleas for mercy, I had been half-expecting to encounter a ravenous werewolf or a mad army of robot soldiers traipsing in the backyard. What I wasn't expecting was to find the Flock chasing the Gasman around on the lawn, trying to wrestle him to the ground. Ignoring Gazzy's shrill hysterics, Max directed the others what to do as they closed in on the fleeing boy.

"Fang, Iggy, sit on his legs! Nudge and Angel, grab an arm and take him down!" The Flock moved together in a swift, coordinated manner, pushing Gazzy to the ground and pinning him before he could break free again. He attempted to jerk and thrash about, hoping to wrench something loose, but the guys sat firmly in place and the girls each had a fixed grip on one of his wrists, as they spread his arms apart so that he was unshielded and defenceless.

"Please please please don't," Gazzy begged, "it's not that bad, really!"

"Not that bad?" Nudge snorted, "Yeah right. Your breath has been stinking up the house for days!" Hmm, now that she mentioned it, Gazzy had seemed a little stinky lately, even for him. But what did that have to do with this?

"It'll be over in a sec, Gaz," Max assured him, sitting on his chest to further limit his struggles, "Just stay still and it'll be done quick, okay sweetie?"

"NO!" Gazzy screamed again, throwing his head back and forth as Max grabbed his jaw and tried to hold it still.

At that moment I finally unfroze and ran towards the Flock, shouting, "What are you doing to him!"

"Hey Ella," Max answered, looking determined yet eerily unconcerned, "We're just taking care of a little dental problem."

"She's trying to kill me!" Gazzy screeched, "Ella, stop her, please!"

I shot Max a disconcerted look, but she and the others just rolled their eyes. "Ignore him, Ella, Gazzy's just being a drama queen. He does this every time he gets a cavity."

Wait, what? "You're doing all this because the Gasman has a cavity? Why?"

"Simple," Max declared, pulling a pair of pliers out of her pocket, "We're going to get rid of it before it gets any worse." There was an almost dangerous glint in her eye.

My jaw nearly dropped. "Y-you're kidding, right? You're going to just yank his tooth out... with those? You can't do that!"

"Sure we can," Iggy replied a little too cheerfully, "We've done this plenty of times. Besides, it's no big deal; every time one of us loses a tooth, we grow another one to replace it."

"That's handy..." I said uncertainly.

He shrugged. "One of the perks of being a mutant freak."

While this verbal exchange was going on, Max took advantage of Gazzy's distracted state to try and force his mouth open. However, Gazzy reacted quickly, jerking his head in an attempt to shake Max's steel grip on his chin. He grunted loudly and made a high-pitched moaning noise.

"Ugh! Gazzy!" Max cried with frustration, "Why do you make this so hard!"

"You might want to hurry, Max," Fang informed her in an irritated tone, "He's gotten bigger since last time."

"I'm trying!" she replied in exasperation. Suddenly I saw an idea cross her face, and she turned to me and said, "Ella, come here and help me!"

"What!" I looked at her in horror, "No way, can't we just—"

"Ella, help now!"

"But just—"

"Ow!" Iggy cried, "Gazzy, stop shoving your knee up my—"

"Ella!"

"Alright, alright!" I knelt down in front of Gazzy's head so that I was facing Max. Everything was happening so fast that I had no idea what I was doing anymore.

"Look," Max shouted at me, as Gazzy's complaints grew louder, "Just pry his mouth open and hold him still so I can stick the pliers in!"

"What!"

"What, do you want to pull the tooth out?"

"Okay, okay, I'll do it!" Quickly I reached down towards the Gasman, who had his lips pursed tightly shut. Trying my best not to hurt him, I jammed my thumb between his lips and used my other fingers to pinch his chin tightly. I forced my thumbnail between his teeth and attempted to pry his mouth open tentatively.

"Don't be gentle!" Max told me, reaching out a hand to speed up the process. Together we yanked his mouth open, and it took all the force I had to keep it agape as Max gripped the pliers and carefully manoeuvred them into Gazzy's mouth.

"Gah! Hurry, Max!" Angel cried, shifting more of her weight onto Gazzy's arm to stop the sudden flailing.

Singling out the rotten tooth, Max clamped down with the pliers and warned, "It's coming out on the count of three!"

Gazzy shook violently as he tried to lose the pliers' grip, but Max was too experienced at this. "Owwt ouo ih a'ai hawih—" I think he was trying to plea bargain, but he was cut off by Max's countdown.

"One!"

"Max!" I tried once more to interrupt, hoping to put a stop to this dental nightmare, "Let's just—"

"Two!" And then without warning she yanked the pliers out of Gazzy's mouth with a violent tug, jerking the tooth out in one fluid motion. Max brought pliers to her face, examining the tooth still pinched between them, while the Gasman screamed and twitched beneath her. After a few seconds the screaming stopped and his body went limp, and finally everyone got off of him and gave him some space.

Gazzy moaned softly and rolled around on the lawn, clutching his jaw. "It hurts..." he whimpered, "And I thought you said on the count of three!"

Max sighed. "That's why I keep telling you to brush your teeth! Especially since you keep stuffing your face with candy every chance you get. And I know I said three; I was trying to catch you off-guard." She gave him the slightest smirk and kneeled next to Gazzy on the grass as he spat out a mouthful of spittle and blood.

Of course, I was absolutely mortified at this point. Not only had I just encountered what was perhaps the most barbaric tooth removal in the history of dentistry, but I had also just participated in it. "I can't believe you just did that!" I exploded, "Did you even give him anything for pain!"

"We slipped a couple of Tylenols into his food at lunch," Iggy told me, shrugging, "and there's more inside."

"I want ice cream," Gazzy pouted, frowning slightly as Max ruffled his hair. I gaped at him; how was this little boy not psychologically scarred by what had just happened? And how on earth could the Flock think that this was an acceptable way to remove a tooth!

"Besides," Max said as she helped Gazzy up off the ground, "it had to be done. He couldn't keep going around with a cavity the rest of his life."

"Had to be done? Max, we could have taken him to a dentist! You know, that guy who knows how to fix cavities without pinning a kid to the ground and yankinghis tooth out with a pair of pliers?"

"...Oh." There was an awkward pause as Max and the others eyed each other sheepishly. Obviously the thought had never crossed their minds.

Taking a moment to collect myself, I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. Then, in my calmest, most put together voice, I informed the Flock, "I am going inside to watch TV, to try and forget this ever happened. I suggest none of you mention this to Mom when she gets home." Then I shot the Gasman a final look of concern. "Are you sure you're okay Gazzy?"

"I'm fine," he replied, shrugging.

"Good."

I turned and went up the stairs to the back door. The only noise I heard from the Flock as I left was Gazzy's voice, which asked Max, "Could I have my tooth back? I want to add it to my collection!"

And so it begins! Anyways, as you've already guessed from the story summary, this fanfiction is a collection of funny-ish oneshots (and a few multi-shots) about the flock, with my own little themed twist: teeth. \:D/ If I'm not going to make my stories disturbing/suspenseful/creepy like they usually are, I can at least give them a weird theme.

Oh, and for those of you waiting for that promised prequel to my last story, An Icy Blaze, muchos apologies. I know that I'd wanted that story out months ago, but life (read: "procrastination") got in the way, so I'm still trying to work on that. Progress is slow, but it's happening!

Now keep reading, and be sure to review afterwards! ^_^