What just might happen if Voldemort got a hold of a Time-Turner. Set sometime before he died, obviously.

Disclaimer: As much as it pains me to type it (it's like a dagger, a dagger in my heart), I don't own Harry Potter.

If Only Voldemort Had a Time-Turner

Third Person POV

After years of plotting and scheming, Voldemort had finally managed to smuggle a Time-Turner out from under the noses of the Ministry. His plan could finally come to fruition. All he had to do was go back in time to his years at Hogwarts and become his former self's mentor, thus guaranteeing his defeat of Harry Potter. A simple enough plan. The only hard part had been getting his bony fingers on the device that would enable it all. And, he supposed, he would have to be careful of Dumbledore once he was in the past.

But that would be easy for a wizard as powerful as him, he assured himself. He pushed it from his mind and delicately hung the Time-Turner around his neck. Many twists of the hourglass later and he was over fifty years in the past.

Striding up to the gates of Hogwarts, Voldemort wondered briefly how his past self would react. Would he be shocked? Amazed? Maybe even a little scared? He brushed the worry away before it had time to settle into his thoughts. It was natural for inferior wizards to fear him, but the young Tom Riddle would understand as soon as Voldemort explained. He knew himself better than anyone.

Voldemort waited at the stone boar flanked gates as a light came closer through the light mist to meet him, alerting him to the fact that he had arrived either sometime at night, or very early in the morning. This irked him slightly. He had planned to make his entrance shortly before dinner, to ensure the young Tom would not be sleeping or otherwise occupied. But apparently his calculations were off.

His slight error was all but forgotten as the light drew nearer, illuminating its carrier's face. Voldemort recognized him as Ogg, the gamekeeper who had eventually been replaced by that oafish Hagrid. He still had his left eye, so this must have been in Tom's first year. Excellent, his calculations hadn't been that mistaken.

"Who's there?" asked Ogg gruffly. "You got some nerve to be coming here at this time of night."

"I have an appointment with the headmaster," replied Voldemort smoothly. "It's very important I see him immediately."

"The headmaster, huh? I haven't been told nothin' about anyone coming to see him."

Voldemort narrowed his eyes slightly, watching as Ogg recoiled at the resemblance to a snake he bore. "I have private business with him. He specifically requested I come at this time."

"All right, all right. Give me a minute, then," said Ogg, opening the gates and mumbling about never being told anything.

Voldemort stepped through before they were fully ajar and lit his wand. Without waiting for Ogg to shut the gates again, he walked quickly towards the castle.

Coming to a halt at the entrance to Slytherin's common room, where he planned to wait out the night, Voldemort racked his larger than average brain for the password. It had been something really stupid. He remembered being annoyed by it constantly.

Voldemort sighed, not coming up with anything. Process of elimination, then. "Salazar?" Nothing happened. "Pure-blood?" Still, nothing moved.

"Snake huggers?" he asked, wincing even as he said it. The gray stone wall stayed motionless, by which he was both frustrated and relieved. That would have been an embarrassing password.

Embarrassing... That was exactly how he'd described it. Embarrassingly obvious.

"Slithering," muttered Voldemort. The stone split and slid apart to admit him. Professor Slughorn had a pathetic sense of humor.

Voldemort was surprised to see the common room wasn't empty as he had expected. Sitting on an armchair close to the weak fire was a small, dark haired boy he immediately recognized as himself. A younger, less reptilian version of himself.

The wall closed again with a quiet thud, just loud enough to make the young Riddle's head swivel around to glare at the newcomer. Even as a first year, he held enough authority in the school to terrify a large number of the students. No one knew exactly what it was. Perhaps his scathing remarks and death stares. Or maybe it was his face. It had a certain look about it. The kind that made any who passed under his gaze stop and think, He would make a fantastic snake faced dark lord.

Voldemort walked closer to Tom, the firelight illuminating more of his face as he came closer. Eventually he was right in front of the boy, and now even the hard hearted child had to be a little afraid. Voldemort scrutinized him, then slowly extended his hand.

"Good evening, Tom Riddle."

Tom's eyes narrowed. "Who are you?"

Voldemort laughed, though it was only an attempt to make his former self more comfortable and held no mirth. "Allow me to explain," he said, seating himself directly opposite Tom on an old couch. "I am from the future. I've come to offer you my aid. Mentor you, if you like. I know a great deal of things that I'm sure you would be interested in. The key to controlling the world, for instance."

"The future?" questioned Tom, though his eyes lit up at the mention of world domination. "How can I trust you?" He was already uneasy about this man's appearance, and experience had taught him never to trust anyone.

"My dear Tom," said Voldemort, fixing his eyes on his future apprentice, "I am the only person you can trust. I am your future."

Tom Riddle stared for a moment, then jumped off the couch, already sprinting towards the boys' dormitories before Voldemort had time to blink.

Tom slammed his dormitory door loudly, not caring if he woke his dorm mates. Back pressed to the door and panting heavily, he mentally canceled all his plans to take over the world. Nothing was worth looking like a lizard.

Each chapter is a one shot, not connected in any way.

Review. I spent ages on this and will be forced to abandon this idea without an adequate number. And I know how much you all love my sense of humor, addicting as it is.

-TeamVampire