Author's Note: This is a brief one-shot story based on a scene from Attack of the Clones, where Anakin and Padmè kiss for the first time. My sister and I talked about what we thought the Senator should have done. This is the result. Please read, enjoy, and review!

KISSES, KICKS, AND PEPPER SPRAY

By Karm Starkiller

Anakin Skywalker and Senator Padmè Amidala stepped carefully out of the boat onto a flight of steps leading to a wide balcony. The Senator wore a gauzy, low-backed dress. As the two crossed the balcony, taking in a panoramic view of the smooth, clear water, she fondly shared childhood memories of summer with her friends in the lake country of Naboo.

"We'd swim out to the islands and lay on the warm sand of the beach, letting the sun dry us," Padmè smiled, leaning on the carved railing.

"I hate sand," Anakin said abruptly. "It's coarse and hard and gets all over everything."

"I forgot you're from a desert planet."

"I like Naboo much better. It's completely different from Tatooine. Here, everything is beautiful and soft." His hand brushed Padmè's bare back.

She looked up at him, startled. Anakin leaned slowly forward, gazing into her eyes, then doubled up gasping for breath.

"Try something like that again, Anakin, and I'll kick you in the stomach again," Padmè said sweetly. "Oh, I know, manners are for local boys, not Jedi. Kissing is implied in your mandate." She turned on her heel and strode inside the villa. Once in her bedroom, she punched in the emergency comms connection for the Jedi Council.

Yoda answered her call, blue hologram flickering slightly. "Something wrong is there, Senator Amidala?"

"I'd say so," she replied. "Obi-wan Kenobi's Padawan tried to kiss me not five minutes ago."

Yoda shook his head. "Misgivings about sending the boy I had. What did you?"

"I kicked Anakin in the stomach. When he catches his breath, he'd better apologize and mind his manners until someone comes to replace him." Padmè was still indignant. To her surprise, Yoda started chuckling.

"It's not funny!" she insisted. "Anakin is going against the Jedi Code and insulting me. If you don't deal with this, I'll-- I'll come out of hiding. I'll stand on top of the Senate Building and yell my name as loud as I can. Every bounty hunter in the Trade Federation will come after me at the same time and it'll be all your fault."

"No need to become so excited is there, Senator," soothed Yoda. "Another Jedi the Council will send. Return to Coruscant Skywalker will."

"When?" asked a slightly calmer Padmè.

Yoda consulted his daily planner datapad. "Very sorry I am, but until next Tuesday nobody available is."

"What am I supposed to do in the meantime? Anakin can be a slow learner. I don't think one kick will put him off. Next thing you know, he'll be suggesting we secretly marry, never mind that it won't work and he'll probably end up on life support while I die in childbirth on some miserable asteroid mining colony."

"Two things do I recommend, Senator," Yoda said gravely.

"Please tell me, Master Yoda," urged Padmè.

"More clothing wear and pepper spray carry. Gundark strength, if find some you can."

"Thank you, Master Yoda. I feel confident that this issue can be resolved quickly."

"As do I, Senator Amidala. May the Force be with you." Yoda's image faded off.

Padmè, feeling much more positive, punched up a sporting goods retailer and ordered a case of extra-strong pepper spray.

Anakin stayed outside, gasping like a gumfish out of water until he could breath normally again. He sighed happily.

"I think she likes me!"