No, I did not steal the idea for Parallel Dimensions from Tsubasa, as my friend accused me of doing, since I didn't even read Tsubasa until after I wrote the first PD story. Sorry, CLAMP, though, for having an idea so similar to yours. Also, my friend ZaneLover0511 put up this story for me on her account, when I didn't have a Fan Fiction .net account yet, but just to let you know it was really me who wrote it. And ZaneLover had permission from me to put it up, so don't go screaming all over her. Well, I really like my PD stories because it's kind of an excursion from my regular super-serious life-moral writing style. The stories are short, random, funny, and somewhat pointless. Hopefully you'll recognize some of the characters and worlds I use and I'll have you chuckling at least a little with my randomness.
--MC
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Parallel Dimensions Installment 1: Starring Makimachi Misao
The Polytrix (ripoff of the Omnitrix from Ben 10) is a strange, magical watch that is randomly bestowed upon random characters from random dimensions. With the push of a little red button, it can take the wearer to any dimension of their choice. Makimachi Misao from the manga Rurouni Kenshin by Nobuhiro Watsuki is the first recipient of the Polytrix. Misao is a spunky onmitsu (ninja) girl who…well, I guess you'll get to know her as the story goes.
Misao woke up one morning to find a strange watch on her left wrist. She was quite confused because, as far as she could remember, Meiji era Japan didn't have complicated-looking digital watches that magically appeared on people's wrists as they slept.
After getting dressed, she examined the watch further. Misao tried to take it off, because the little buttons and the blocky writing on the little screen and the little flashing lights were kind of creeping her out—after all, this is, like, 1879!! But, as she looked at the bottom of her wrist…there was no buckle, tie, Velcro, or rubber band of any kind!! And the watch fit just perfectly snugly around her wrist, so there would be no sliding it off. "What the heck is going on??" Misao asked herself, and randomly punched a little red button. Little did 1879-Japanese-Meiji-era-people know that pressing red buttons is something you should never, ever, ever do unless you know exactly what you are doing!!
Misao found herself engulfed in red light and then, before she could bat an eyelash, she was standing in a cartoon courtroom in full cartoon-i-ness. Yes, she was completely flat and bold-colored, with minimal shading, and she felt like she was about two feet tall. Misao looked down at her legs and screamed, "What the heck happened to my beautiful legs?? I trained months to make them strong and sexy!!" Indeed, her legs were now stocky lines. "Argh!!"
Then a boy who was wearing a baseball cap and a stripy blue shirt with a humongous pink nose stood at his table. "Excuse me, judge," he said in a very obnoxious voice, "but might I ask who this girl who just teleported here via Polytrix is"
The judge, who was a hideous green ogre-like creature whose only likeness to humanity was the classic judge's wig that was perched on his hideous green ogre-like head, replied, "That, Billy, is something our only our guest here can answer for herself."
Misao was indignant. "My name is Makimachi Misao," she declared, "and if you don't tell me where I am and how I can get home, I'll shred you to pieces!!" She reached for her kunai, but found that the pouch that held them had gone AWOL. "Danget!" Misao stomped her foot rather childishly. "I forgot my kunai!! No matter, I'll shred you to pieces with my fists!!"
"Um, may I object, Makimoochy, or whatever your name was," Billy asked matter-of-factly.
"My name is not Makimoochy, it's Misao!"
Billy went on, "Fine, Miso Soup—"
But he was cut short by a stumpy green elephant thing that stood from the jury box and waved his hand in the air. "Oh, oh! I like. Miso soup. …Yes!" The creature exclaimed in strangely halting speech.
"Ahem, Fred Fredburger," Billy said peremptorily. "Nobody asked your opinion on miso soup. We are talking about Miso Soup, here." He gestured towards Misao.
"I am not Miso Soup!!!!" Misao shrieked, charging at Billy. She leapt on top of his table, seized his collar and lifted him from his chair, and punched in the nose.
But her hand just bounced off his humongous pink nose.
The whole room looked at her.
During the time that everyone was dumbstruck by Billy's nose's ability to withstand attack, Fred Fredburger had hopped out of the jury box and hoisted himself onto the desk to stand next to Misao. He took a hold of her long braid and put it in his mouth.
"You vulgar elephant pig!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Misao screeched at the top of her lungs. She swung Billy by the collar and he collided with Fred Fredburger…but Billy's amazingly resilient humongous pink nose got in the way again. Misao let go of Billy, and he bounced off the table with his humongous pink nose and landed on the ground. His humongous pink nose squeaked like a dog toy.
Once again the whole room was dumbstruck, except for Fred Fredburger.
"Oooh, Polytrix….Yes," Fred Fredburger said, bringing a stocky green elephant finger towards the little red button on the Polytrix, which was still fastened to Misao's wrist. "What does. This. Button do?" he asked innocently. Then he jammed his finger onto the button.
A flash of red light enveloped both Misao and Fred Fredburger. Then they were gone.
The next thing Misao knew, she was standing in a hallway that looked like it belonged to a modern-day school. The hallway was completely empty except for her and Fred Fredburger, who looked up at her inanely. Both of them were now in complete 3-D-real-life-ness, and Misao was quite glad that she had her legs back.
Then a bell rang, and Misao screamed. Fred Fredburger, on the other hand, was absolutely undaunted. "Ooooh," he said, as girls poured out of classrooms and headed to their lockers. "Bell ringy. Is cool! Yes!" Fred Fredburger tapped a glossy-haired brunette girl on the shoulder. "Can you. Tell me. Where the bell ringy thing. Is?"
The brunette whirled on Fred Fredburger, with an ensemble of four other girls behind her. She shrieked, "Get your disgusting hand offa me!" Then she narrowed her amber eyes and asked, "Who are you?"
"My name is. Fred Fredburger. I can spell it. Real good. F-R-E-D. F-R-E-D…B-U-R…G-E-R! Fred Fredburger! Yes," Fred Fredburger responded.
All five of the girls stared at him.
Before anyone could say anything else, a towheaded girl pointed at Fred Fredburger and exclaimed, "I know who that is! He's from this show that my brother always watches!"
The other four looked at her like she was crazy. But the towhead refused to be intimidated. "His name is Fred Fredburger, and he is totally ah-nnoying. You must remember, Massie, you were there when my brother was watching the show."
Massie, the amber-eyed brunette, didn't respond to the towhead. "I wasn't asking the elephant, I was asking you." She lifted a perfectly manicured finger and jabbed it in Misao's direction.
"If you really must know, I am Makimachi Misao," Misao said. "Now tell me how to get back to Kyoto!!"
"Makimachi—" Massie began, but she was cut short.
"IT'S MISAO!!"
"Okay, Misao—" Massie began again, but she was cut short again.
"IT'S MISAO-SAN TO YOU!!!! HOW DO I GET BACK TO KYOTO?!?!?!?!?!"
Massie and her friends stared at Misao.
"You get on a plane…?" An aqua-eyed blond said cautiously.
"WHAT THE HECK IS A PLANE?!?!?!" Misao screeched, jump-kicking the blond girl in the forehead.
But instead of helping the blond, the girls all stared at Misao.
"WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" Misao shrieked.
A tall redhead with green cat-eyes gasped, "Your legs are so perfect!"
Misao immediately smiled sweetly. "Why, thank you. I was so depressed when I went to that green elephant's world and my legs turned all stocky," she said matter-of-factly.
Then the Polytrix beeped and Fred Fredburger grabbed Misao's wrist. "Bell ringy thing!!" he exclaimed, and started punching all the buttons on the Polytrix as fast as he could.
Once again Misao and Fred Fredburger were enveloped in a flash of red light.
This time they ended up in a kitchen where a dark-haired girl was doing something to a box of cereal. When Misao and Fred Fredburger materialized, the girl jumped, threw the cereal box in the air, and screamed.
"Great!" Misao spat. "Where am I now? Why can't I just get back to Kyoto? Why am I still in 3-D-form?"
The cereal box hit the ceiling and exploded, raining cereal onto Misao, Fred Fredburger, and the dark-haired girl. "Cereal!!" Fred Fredburger exclaimed, and ran around catching cereal on his tongue and eating it. "Cereal is. Good!" he said. Then he knelt down on the floor of the kitchen and sucked cereal up through his elephant nose like he was a vacuum cleaner. He stood back up and shot the cereal out of his nose and into his mouth…and he didn't miss a single miniscule piece.
"Hm." The dark-haired girl shrugged. "At least I won't have to clean that up. If only Drake and Josh had made it explode…oh well." Then she turned to Misao. "Who're you?"
By now Misao had caught on to the fact that, for some strange reason, people liked to call her by her last name when she told them she was Makimachi Misao and they tended to forget the honorific. "Call me Misao-san," she told the dark-haired girl.
"Cool. Megan Parker," the girl said, extending her hand.
Misao stared at Megan's hand. Megan wiggled her fingers a little. "Ahem??"
Misao stared at Megan's hand. Megan sighed. "You're supposed to shake my hand." Megan spoke slowly and clearly, as if Misao were stupid. "Oh, I guess where you come from, you don't shake hands?"
"…No?"
"That's okay," Megan said amiably, withdrawing her hand. "You wanna help me pull pranks on my brothers Drake and Josh?"
By now Misao had pretty much given up all hope of ever getting back to Kyoto, but strangely, she didn't feel depressed, sad, down, or deterred in any way whatsoever. "Sure."
"Okay!" Megan replied brightly. "Let's get started. Get me another cereal box." She pointed at a cabinet.
Just then a brown-haired, extremely egotistic sixteen-year-old boy walked into the kitchen. "Hey," he said, seeing Megan. "Whoa, who the heck are you?" he said, seeing Fred Fredburger. "What are you doing on our kitchen floor?"
"My name is. Fred Fredburger. I can spell it. Real good. F-R-E-D. F-R-E-D…B-U-R…G-E-R! Fred Fredburger! Yes," Fred Fredburger responded. "I'm. Looking for. More cereal. Yes!"
"Okay…." The boy opened a cabinet and took out a bag of cheese balls. He opened it and was about to pop one into his mouth when he saw Misao. "Heyyyyyy," he purred, tossing the bag of cheese balls into the air. The bag hit the ceiling and didn't explode, even though, because it was open, it still rained cheese balls on Fred Fredburger, who caught them all on his tongue and ate them, and he didn't miss a single orange ball of cheese.
The boy sidled over to Misao and leaned on the countertop. "I'm Drake," he said cloyingly. "What's your name?"
Misao regarded the boy warily and considered bird-kick-of-rage-ing him, but decided against it. "You can call me Misao-san," she said.
"Ohhhh," Drake cooed. "But I think I'll call you Misao-sama."
Megan dropped her jaw. "Drake? When did you learn about Japanese honorifics?"
Drake looked at her and lazily waved a hand in the air. "I watch TV. Come to think of it, I think I saw that little green guy who's raiding our snack cabinet on TV, too." He turned back to Misao, but suddenly a look of shock crossed his face. "Little green guy who's raiding out snack cabinet!?!?" Drake whirled towards the snack cabinet, which had Fred Fredburger's butt sticking out of it, his little green elephant tail wagging contentedly.
All you could hear was, "Fred Fredburger, Fred Fredburger, Fred Fredburger, Fred Fredburger, Fred Fredburger, Fred Fredburger, Fred Fredburger, Fred Fredburger, Fred Fredburger, Fred Fredburger…." And a chomping sound.
"NOOOO!!!!" Drake exclaimed, racing to the snack cabinet and grabbing Fred Fredburger by the back legs. He pulled as hard as he could, but Fred Fredburger would not be separated from the interior of the snack cabinet. Then, suddenly, it was as if a rubber band snapped and Drake and Fred Fredburger both shot out of the snack cabinet and slammed into Misao.
Drake let go of Fred Fredburger and bolted back to the snack cabinet, talking to the snacks as he put them back in the cabinet. Misao was shaking her head, trying to clear the stars that were floating in front of her eyes. When they were finally gone, she noticed that the Polytrix's strap had snapped and it was lying on the ground next to her hand. Then she was engulfed in a flash of green light, and she was gone.
Fred Fredburger picked up the Polytrix and looked at it with tears in his eyes. "Polytrix…broken…??" he murmured deploringly. Then he pressed a button, and he was enveloped in a flash of red light.
Megan was now leaning against the countertop with her arms crossed. "Now this is entertainment," she said, snickering. Then her face hardened. "Boobs."
Just for the record, Misao returned to Meiji-era-Kyoto. Fred Fredburger…?? Well, you'll see in the next installment of
PARALLEL DIMENSIONS!
CREDITS:
· Makimachi Misao is from the manga/anime series Rurouni Kenshin, by Nobuhiro Watsuki
· Fred Fredburger, Billy, and the "hideous green ogre-like" judge are from the television series The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, created by Maxwell Atoms.
· Massie Block, Claire Lyons ("towheaded girl"), Kristen Gregory ("aqua-eyed blond") and Dylan Marvil ("tall redhead with green cat-eyes") are from the Clique series of novels by Lisi Harrison.
· Megan Parker and Drake Parker are from the television series Drake and Josh, created by Dan Schneider.
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Are you cracking up now?? Or was my humor so stupid that you're crying?? LOL. Please review and I'll have Installment 2 up soon. Thanks everyone!!!
--MC