Morning Hangovers are Very Overrated
I do not own Borderlands. If I owned Borderlands, 2K Games and Gearbox Software would be paying me over millions and millions of money by the hour. But I will await the moment I become wealthy beyond my wildest aspirations.
Maya woke up with a grunt and felt a massive throbbing in her forehead. Just last night, as she recalled, her, her husband Axton, sister Nisha, cousin Athena and her Vault Hunter friends had a large drinking contest over at their hangout place Moxxi's. However, neither counted on waking up feeling like an overloaded set of batteries
"ugh… Dammit, I think I'm gonna barf." Maya groaned, trying in vain not to barf all over her new carpet. Just then she heard the sounds of snoring. Maya got up from the bed, opened her closet, and found Nisha sleeping atop a pile of brassieres, her hair a scruffy mess, and a pint of drool on her lip. "mmm… no, no, don't touch that bomb…. It's loaded to the brim… buy me a large round of Guinness beer." Nisha mumbled in her sleep before rolling over
Maya rolled her eyes and nudged Nisha with her boot. "Ok, ok! I'm up. Not so hard" Nisha yawned, waking up before rushing over to the trashcan and vomiting into it. "And good morning to you too, sis. Was wondering how you were holding up from the contest last night" Maya deadpanned
"hey, not so loud. I have a massive headache, my eyes are all bloodshot, and I feel like crap." Nisha slurred, stumbling a little as Maya supported her. "ugh, hey, it's not what it looks…" Axton gibbered, before seeing Maya and Nisha in what looked like a… shall we say, intimate position.
"um… is there something that I missed, or are you trying to screw with my wife, Nisha?" Axton asked, not in the mood for settling situations with his spouse or his spouse's sibling for that matter.
"It's all right Axton. I had a few too much to drink last night and I passed out. Maya took me back to the cabin and well, she, er, looked after me before Athena came in and her and I, we, well…" Nisha started, Axton mouthing "what the hell?" in amazement.
"You two… you two… oh, you didn't." Axton stammered. "oh, we did all right. And let me say, for the record, it lasted right up until Athena started singing 'Bad Romance' off-key while she was caressing my leather lounge chair" Nisha deadpanned, Maya shaking her head in amusement
"Hey, at least I don't cream my Levi panties in my sleep, unlike someone I know" Axton retorted, Nisha playfully slapping him up the head. "Look, can we drop this whole thing? Seriously, it's like, 2 in the morning, and I'm still exhausted from doin' all those jobs for Janey yesterday." Maya complained, yawning as she and Nisha crawled back into bed.
"Well, this is ridiculous! I think you two are trying to avoid confronting this matter!" Axton snapped, Maya giving him a dirty look making the commando zip his lips. Seconds later, Axton was tweeting on his iPhone while Maya and Nisha snored and dreamed. Nisha moaned in her sleep as she hugged Maya, smiling in her sleep.
"Heh. Those lovebirds just never let up, do they?" Mordecai chuckled lightly, entering the cabin. "Hey bud. What are you doin' here?" Axton asked. "Funny story actually; after that drinking contest last night, Maya somehow made off with my lighter, I think. And I couldn't help but notice that it's on her necklace." Mordecai responded, the commando eyeing the drunk sniper like he was crazy or just plain weird.
"mmm… no, no, don't shoot that Thresher, it's got all my money in it… this page will explode in seventeen millimeters…" Nisha babbled in her sleep before snoring again. Mordecai and Axton took a look at each other and said at the same time "Women"
"Hey! Are we going or what?! Athena's askin' how long we're supposed to wait at the Travel Station?" Lilith barked, entering the cabin dressed in her combat armor. Mordecai and Axton both placed their fingers to their lips, warning Lilith not to awaken the two snoozing sisters, whom both hated being woken up at the wrong given time.
"So? I've seen those two before, and lemme tell you, there's absolutely nothing at all that can keep them away from huntin' for a new Vault." Lilith scoffed, walking over to the bed and started to shake Maya's shoulder like wild. But Maya was still sound asleep, apparently the alcohol had a bigger effect on her than she thought. After attempting to pull both Maya and Nisha up and splashing both of them with ice-cold water, Lilith paced the carpet floor, thinking desperately of a plan to arouse the two femme fatales from their alcohol-intoxicated slumber and on their feet.
"Ugh, I give up. Whoever said bodies at rest tend to stay at rest wasn't really joking either." Lilith groaned, Maya yawning as she got up. "what's all the noise about, anyway? Nisha and I were having a lovely dream about canoeing down the Mississippi River" Maya spoke tiredly, pouring herself a cup of coffee.
"It's about time you two chicks decided to get up. Angel and Moxxi just found a new Vault somewhere on Frostburn Canyon, and we need to get it before those Lost Legion sons of bitches beat us to it." Lilith barked, Maya and Nisha both arming themselves with as much ammo and weaponry they can handle.
"alright, we're all set. And before we do this, does anyone know who won the drinking contest last night?" Maya asked, her Vault Hunter companions looking at each other for an answer. "um… it was you and Nisha. You both drank, like, fifty rounds of rakkale and Miller Light that rivaled Mordecai's record." Moxxi answered, Mordecai giving the Siren sisters a thumbs-up.
"I'll be darned. Alright, let's move out." Nisha replied, the entourage moving out, Maya turning to Nisha and speaking "Let's never talk about this again"
"Deal" Nisha deadpanned before adding "Maya, your cleavage is showing again." Maya stopped and removed her water canteen out of her tank top before smirking with amusement. "you sly silver tongued devil, you" Maya teased, following her sister