The soldier sat beside the bed of his golden haired princess. Her eyes were closed but her chest was rising and falling, each movement made Gale relax a little, but he remembered what the doctors had told him. She wouldn't be the same. She might not even remember. She had been tortured and damaged, just like Peeta. He wanted them to be wrong, he wanted her to wake up and smile at him just like she did in District 12. The way her eyes lit up and sparkled against the sunshine and how her dimples popped on her cheeks. He missed everything about her, the woman he loved and the woman he vowed to never stop fighting for.
He emerged from his thoughts when a small noise came from his lap. He looked down at his daughter, their daughter, who had dropped her pacifier on the ground. May Hawthorne was already a year old and resembled her mother almost completely. She had the same small, button nose, the same dimples on her cheeks, and the same strawberry blonde hair that grew in curls on top of her head. The only difference was her eyes were the same grey shade as her fathers. Gale remembered that night they had shared in the woods, every inch of her fair skin and the innocence in her eyes. He was worried he would hurt her, worried that she would regret it in the end. But when he looked at her face he saw how much she trusted him. Madge was in tears when she came running to his house a couple weeks later and Gale heard the words but they took a moment to register in his brain. She was late. She was pregnant. He looked at her and saw how afraid she was; her hands were shaking by her sides. He knew there was no time for him to take in what was going on, he had to be strong for her. He took her in his arms and told her it would be okay, he promised he would never let anything happen to her or the baby.
His mother was upset, but she was understanding. After Madge's father had found out and kicked her out of the house, Hazelle took her in and cared for her like she was one of her own. Madge stayed in their house throughout her pregnancy, only taking short walks at night with Gale. They didn't want anyone to find out about the baby, fearing for it's future. The baby was born when Katniss and Peeta were in the Quarter Quell and Gale would never forget that day for the rest of his life. It was a long labour, but Gale knew Madge could fight through it, she was strong and she was brave. Small cries filled the bedroom and Gale looked at her, tired and sweaty, he loved her more than anything, and only when he had his daughter in his arms for the first time did he realize he could love two people just as much.
Then everything went wrong.
Katniss blew up the arena and Gale knew they had to leave. Gale's family and Madge with the baby were the first in the woods. Madge held her daughter closely as she watched Gale going back and forth, bringing more survivors into the safety of the trees. The bombs had started to fall and almost all of District 12 was up in flames, but Gale was determined to find others. Madge feared for his safety as more and more bombs fell and called out to him before he ran off to find more. Hazelle took the baby when Madge ran after him, trying to convince him to come back. He couldn't hear her calling over the sound of the explosions but one piercing scream caught his attention. A burning street light had fallen in between them and Madge was trapped between the sides of two buildings. Gale's heart raced and his mind imprinted the image of her face, the fear in her eyes, when another bomb hit and she disappeared from sight. He tried running after her, but the flames were too high and he had to decide between her and their daughter. He had never felt so much pain in his life when he returned to the woods and looked at the faces of the survivors, knowing that none of those faces belonged to Madge. Walking away from the burning town was the hardest thing he ever had to do.
The walk to District 13 was long, cold, and tiring. They lost only a few of the survivors along the way, mostly the elders who were too weak to battle the cold nights. Gale trusted his mother with the baby since he had to lead the group and a small wave of relief washed over him when they ran into two officers from the underground District. The place was cold and dark, and Gale was upset that this was where he had to watch his daughter grow up. He couldn't have been more thankful for his mother, who watched his little girl while he was away training for the war. He wanted to fight and he wanted to win, Madge's death had stirred an anger inside him he had never felt before.
But Madge wasn't dead.
Before they had set out to rescue Peeta from the Capitol, Haymitch had grabbed Gale and pulled him into an empty room.
"Your girlfriend is alive." The drunk had told him. "She's in a cell beside Johanna's." Gale felt his knees starting to buckle but he tried to gain his composure. He would save her by any means, even if it meant getting himself killed in the process.
The rescue mission went somewhat smoothly, but nothing prepared Gale for the sight of Madge curled up in that cell. Covered in bruises, dried blood in her hair and on her face, she was unconscious on the cold tiled floor, but she was breathing. Gale held her in his arms and brought her onto the hovercraft, despite the harsh stares from the other soldiers. She wasn't part of the plan and Gale had almost gotten them all killed trying to find her. But he ignored them and refused to leave her side while the medics on board started working on her.
Once back in 13, they had rushed her to the main hospital wing and refused to let Gale inside. When they wouldn't tell him if she was okay or not he punched through a window and had to get a couple stitches in his hand. After waiting for what felt like an eternity, a doctor finally approached him and told him that Madge was in stable condition. Relief flooded over him and he couldn't stop the tears running down his cheeks.
"But she won't be the same." The doctor warned, shaking his head, a look of pity on his face. "She's been tortured, and you heard what happened with Peeta." He said quietly but Gale didn't want to believe it.
Now there he sat beside her bed, her golden hair was splayed across her pillow and he arms were restrained by her sides. Gale hated seeing her this way but the doctors refused to remove the restraints with the baby in the room. May let out another noise of frustration and Gale resurfaced from his thoughts again. He bent down, picked up the pacifier, and carried his daughter to the sink in the corner of the room. After running it under some warm water and placing it back in her mouth, he went back to the side of the bed. The movements and the running water had caused Madge to stir in her slumber, and as Gale sat back down, her eyes flew open.
She took deep breaths as her eyes focused on the dimly lit room and she looked over to the man beside her. Recognition flickered across her face but there was something else there, her eyes lacked the sense of confidence they so often carried and she seemed absent. Gale sat up straighter and leaned closer to her.
"Madge?" He whispered and his hand reached out to push away some hair that had fallen in her face, but he pulled it back rapidly when she flinched. "Madge. I'm not going to hurt you." Gale frowned and shifted in his seat nervously. He watched her fists clench and unclench a couple of times and he felt his arms wrapping around his daughter protectively.
"Am I safe now?" Madge's voice was small and rough, like she had been screaming, but Gale tried to push that thought from his mind.
"Yes you're safe now. Nothing is going to hurt you anymore." He reassured her and watched as Madge's eyes dropped down to his lap and focused on May, as if she had just noticed her for the first time.
"May." She whispered and Gale felt like he almost saw something spark in her eyes, but it was gone before he could tell what it was. He forced a smile and moved his chair closer to her side of the bed so she could see more clearly.
"Yeah, I brought her to come say hi." Gale said softly. "She's missed you."
Tears sprang into her eyes and she tried sitting up. "I want to hold her." Madge's voice wavered and she pulled her wrists against the restraints.
Gale bit down on his lip and reached out with one hand to stop her movements, holding his hand lightly in hers and lacing their fingers together. "The doctors want to be safe. Peeta attacked Katniss the other night so they had to be sure." He said quietly, he felt awful, he couldn't stand seeing her this way and it broke his heart.
"I'm not going to attack my own child! I want to hold her!" She was crying now, her breathing was uneven and it looked like she was about to have a panic attack. Gale shot up from his chair with May in his arms and he rushed across the room. He searched through the cabinets and shelves until he found some sort of small metal instrument. He walked back over to her and used it to pick at the lock around her left wrist until it finally sprung open, then quickly did the other side.
He stepped back as Madge sat up and caught her breath, trying to calm down. She wiped at her eyes and raised her shaking arms towards May. Gale cautiously walked over and placed their daughter in her lap and the little girl smiled up at her mother.
"Hi baby." Madge's voice was barely a whisper and she reached up to touch the curls on her head. May made a noise from behind her pacifier and her arms moved up and down happily. "You're so big. You're growing so fast." More tears ran down Madge's cheeks and she brought her daughter into her chest, hugging her tightly.
Gale felt a wave of relief wash over him and he sat beside them on the edge of the bed, placing a hand on Madge's back carefully. This time she didn't flinch away but he could tell she was tense under her thin hospital nightgown. He noticed the way she jumped slightly at every noise that came from outside her door. Her eyes moved across the room quickly almost as if she was making sure there was nobody else there. He wanted to make her feel better, but he had no idea how.
"Hey." He said quietly and gave her a smile. "May has been practicing her walking. Do you want to see?" He asked and gently took the baby girl from her arms.
He stood May on her feet and let her grab onto his fingers above her head, her feet moving forward in awkward and clumsy steps. He smiled up at Madge but it quickly dropped. Madge wasn't watching them, she stared straight ahead of her, she looked like she was in a daze. Gale scooped up May and walked back over to her, placing his hand over hers.
"Madge?" He said quietly and she jumped, suddenly startled by his presence.
Her hand jerked away from underneath his and she scooted farther up the bed. "I want to go to sleep." She told him and rolled over so her back was facing him.
Gale's heart dropped as he stared at her frail body laying on that hospital bed. She never deserved any of this and he felt like it had been all his fault. He was angry at the Capitol, angry at Snow, but mostly he was angry at himself. The doctors were right; she would never be the same again. She was damaged and she was broken, but Gale refused to give up on her. May needed a mother and Gale vowed to watch and take care of her even if she was never going to get better, he owed her that much.