So this is my very first Sonny with a Chance fanfic. I've never been a big fan of Disney, but I was watching the show with my cousin one day, and I somehow just fell in love with Chad and Sonny, or... what do people call it... Channy? Chonny or something? I don't know. I think they both sound pretty funny, so I'm just going to stick with ChadxSonny. :)
So, I'm going to warn you now, that Chad might be a little bit too much on the haughty and cocky side in my story, and well... just read it, and you'll see. :)
It's rated T for language I guess? I think it's a K+, but it had like, one or two cuss words, so I rated it T just to be safe...
Disclaimer: I do not own Sonny with a Chance. If I did, Chad and Sonny would've already been together by now.
Ten Reasons Why I Hate Sonny Munroe
It's all stupid Portlyn's fault. That's why I'm making this list. I can't believe she said that I, Chad Dylan Cooper, was in love with stupid, Ms. Sunshine-of-the-World, Sonny Munroe. That's just pure stupidity. Chad Dylan Cooper is far too awesome to be in love with a small town, Wisconsin girl.
So, being me, to save my pride and dignity before she spread that stupid rumor, I told Portlyn I could prove to her that I did not like Sonny Munroe; that, in fact, I absolutely hated her. I now intend to list ten reasons why I hate Sonny Munroe and hand it over to Portlyn tomorrow morning. That'll show her.
I walked into my neatly decorated dressing room (mostly about me, of course), where I would probably pull an all-nighter because of this stupid list. Stupid Munroe. Stupid Portlyn. Stupid love. Stupid hate.
I pulled out my chair and sat in front of my desk and grabbed a sheet of paper from God knows where. I snatched a pen from the drawer and started writing.
Ten Reasons Why I Hate Sonny Munroe
There, that ought to do it.
1. I hate how she's always so cute. She's cute at everything she does. Stupid cute. It's like… a disease or something. It makes me smile, for God's sake. Chad Dylan Cooper does not smile for girls unless it is for acting and showing people his appreciation because they think he is awesome (which is practically everyone). He does not smile for cute, especially for cute that does not think he is awesome.
2. I hate how she's a huge ray of freaking sunshine. She smiles at everything. Well, except for me, which is not right if I must say. Everyone smiles for Chad Dylan Cooper. But anyways, she's always smiling at everyone and always being happy. Is she ever angry? Oh wait. She is. At me.
3. I hate that she resists me. Me. Chad Dylan Cooper. Chad is too awesome to be… resisted. No one resists me. I've got my own real show, my millions of fans, I'm in the hearts of practically every girl, I'm in magazines, and I've won tons of Tween Awards. Well, nominated anyways, which is, in fact, like winning. How can some stupid comedian resist me?
4. I hate how she always gets me to actually care for her. Chad Dlyan Cooper doesn't "do" caring. In a way, I'm a little like Barbie girl ( I mean, she's like me). I just don't… care. CHAD IS NOT THE CARING TYPE. And then Ms. Wisconsin comes along, and I start caring. For her. Like that stupid time where I put on that whole "weird beard" costume for her. (Not that I'd ever admit to something like that. Oh, God no. To her, I was simply trying on a weird beard. Which I was.)
5. I hate how she got me to be jealous. I am never jealous of other people. No. People are jealous of me. But no. Sonny Munroe actually got me to be jealous of that jerk who stole my phone whose name shouldn't even be mentioned on my paper because he went out with Sonny. I shouldn't have to be jealous of that jerk. He should be jealous of me, the absolute picture of perfection. Stupid Munroe for going out with him and making me jealous.
6. I hate that she said "No" to my invitation. It is one thing to resist me, but it is totally another for saying "No." No one, and I repeat, no one says "no" to Chad Dylan Cooper. And then she comes waltzing along to my party AFTER SAYING NO, and she doesn't even bring a gift! It's horrible, I know.
7. I hate how she compares these… stupid objects to ME. Like those stars in the sky. Yeah, so? They were 'AIGHT, okay? They weren't brighter than me. They will never be pretty and bright as me. They don't even have their own show! But she's all fazed over them, and when I mention me, she's all, "I was talking about the stars." Yeah, well no one cares about the stars if Chad Dylan Cooper is there. The only time that 'Chad Dylan Cooper' and 'star' comes in the same sentence, really, is when you are saying, "Chad Dylan Cooper is a star," which you know is completely true.
8. I hate how she makes my heart like… explode or something. Every time I get near her, my heart does this weird little flip like it's just about to blow up. She's got some weird problem that makes my heart thud really fast. I hate it. She needs to go see a doctor or something because my heart has never done that until she came along. If my heart explodes, that means I die, and if I die, well, everyone will probably go through the Great Depression again, and we don't want that, now do we?
9. I hate how she's constantly overpowering my mind. She's always in there! I'll be thinking of something and then it'll be like "I wonder if Sonny will…" That shouldn't be happening! Chad Dylan Cooper only thinks about himself, so it can't be possible that he's thinking about Sonny out of his own free will, so she has to be doing something to me. I bet she has some weird supernatural power that makes me always think about her.
10. I hate how her smile drives me wild. It's just something about that huge grin of hers that I absolutely hate. It drives me absolutely nuts. It makes my heart create this funny –thumpity, thump- feeling, and I feel like it's about to explode. Not only that, but her smile makes me want to kiss her. Pathetic, right? No one's smile should make me want to kiss her, especially Ms. Wisconsin. It's just something about that damn huge smile that makes my mind go crazy. I really think I should go see a doctor soon. Something must be wrong with me for getting sick just by seeing her smile. It's that weird supernatural power of hers, I'm sure. There's no other sufficient reason because Chad Dylan Cooper has never felt this way before.
This can only mean one thing: Chad Dylan Cooper has never hated anyone as much as he has hated Sonny Munroe. And this explains absolutely everything.
Ta-da.
I am done. Finished. I stared proudly at the piece of paper that was filled with my blood, sweat, and tears. I had worked my ass off on this paper, so Portlyn better be damn satisfied.
The next morning, I strode smugly over to Portlyn and handed her the piece of paper with a haughty smirk playing on my lips. "See? Didn't I tell you? I am not in love with Stupid Sunshine Munroe. This proves it all."
Portlyn took the paper quietly into her own hands and scanned her eyes over it, reading silently to herself. Here and there, I could see an eyebrow of hers rising higher and then narrowing her eyes at something she read elsewhere. Finally, she glanced up at me, this wide smirk placed at her lips.
"What?" I asked impatiently.
"Are you sure that this isn't a list about why you love Sunny Munroe?"
Love? I choked on my spit. Here we go again. "No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no," I said firmly. "That's not how it works. I worked my ass off that paper to prove to you that I am definitely not in love with Sonny Munroe, and you're saying my paper claims that I am in love with Sunny Munroe? No. Definitely not. Impossible."
"Impossible, you say?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at me.
"Impossible," I confirmed. I was not in love with Sonny Munroe. How could she have possibly gotten that from my paper? I was absolutely sure that my paper portrayed that I hated Sonny Munore above everyone else. That could only explain these funny feelings.
She handed the paper back to me; a look of pity filled her face. Why was she giving me that look? No one gives me that look. I don't need that stupid look of pity! "You might want to read this over again."
I stood there, alone, miffed, but reading the paper anyway after she walked away. I wrote this. I should know what it portrayed. How dare she say that it was a list about how I loved Sonny? It was a list about how I loathed her! Loathed her, I say! I read every paragraph, every line, every word to just prove that I knew what I had been writing about, and... suddenly, pieces were starting to come together. I felt my body fill with terror and dread as I read the very last few lines. This whole stupid list sounded like I...
Oh, no. No, no, no. It can't possibly be.
Oh, yes.
Ho. Ly. Crap.
I was in love with stupid Ms. Sunshine-of-the-World, Sonny Munroe.
-The End-
Woot. I'm done. I'm so very happy with this! I'm sorry that they didn't actually get together or anything, but at least he realizes he loves her, no? And yes, I know, Chad Dylan Cooper doesn't actually think he hates her as much as he says in here (in fact, I think he already knows he rather sorta likes her?), and I don't really think he's as cocky as I portrayed him, but I really just wanted to play around with his character. I absolutely love his character, and I hate it when people make him this huge girl, all soft and sweet and stuff, because I really don't think that's how he is. He's like... cocky....and sweet? Like an arrogant sweet? Ehhhhh he's so confusing and complex. x] That's why I love him though. :)
So anyway, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. I had a lot of fun writing this. :)
Make an author's day happy and review please! Or criticize. That's fine with me too.
xoxo MimiMichie