Cobra Unit Stories

After every picture-5 to be exact-of the Cobras coming out with The End sleeping in a corner the old man had gotten quite fed up. But today he would have his revenge. Because he was the only one awake. Photosynthesis had given him boundless energy where as his comrades had valiantly tried to fight off sleep but ended up succumbing in the end. The Sorrow sat in the middle holding a book with The Joy passed out against his shoulder, The Fear lay mostly on the floor with on his head resting on the couch, beside him was The Fury curled into a ball and crushed against the arm while The Pain's head was bent backwards and he snored loudly. The End took the picture with a smirk.

His eyes widened then crinkled from the smile spreading across his lips, "you look beautiful Voyevoda."

"Don't make me laugh Sorrow, I look like a man in a dress."

She looked displeased in simple terms. Arms crossed over her chest, weight resting on one leg with the other locked into place and eyebrows sharply descending towards the bridge of her nose. The Sorrow approached warily with the fact that she just may hit him sending off alarm bells in his head. Her hands had been clenched into fists and though she probably wouldn't admit it she was embarrassed not angry. He brushed the wisps of hair out of her face with a soft chuckle.

"Boss, you don't believe me?"

"I didn't say that."

"So then you believe that you are beautiful."

"I didn't say that either Sorrow. Dammit this thing is itchy and I can't move," she tugged at the fabric of the skirt part for emphasis, "what is this supposed to be?"

"It's a dress Joy, stop being so angry and look at yourself."

"No thank you."

He reminded himself that she was unused to things like this-she rarely spoke about herself or put any effort into looking nice though she accomplished that on her own. But it was rather irritating anyway. Perhaps if he tried a couple more times she would get used to it regardless of that he wouldn't' mind if she didn't. Trying to get The Boss to do something she didn't want to was like trying to force a cat to have a nice relaxing bath. Made even worse by the click and flash from the window. She wheeled around so fast her hair smacked him in the face and he looked up just in time to see The Fear running literally for his life across the base. All ceremony was forgotten and the dress was fairly ripped off-like a gentleman The Sorrow only looked from between his fingers-and exchanged for the BDU. Before she disappeared through the door she glared at him so fiercely he could have dropped dead right there,

"So help me Sorrow if this crap gets out there'll be no need for you to be a medium because the only people you'll have for company will be DEAD LIKE YOU."

"Y-Yes ma'am."

He couldn't help but think that even this side of her was attractive though it would be more so if she weren't slightly serious. The Russian man sighed, "I will ask around."

The door slammed. The Sorrow was in trouble.

The first time The Fear had propositioned her she had shut him down immediately. The first time The Fury had asked her she'd shut him down too. The first time The Sorrow spoke to her with no sexual implications what so ever she had punched him in the face and nearly broke his nose.

The second time The Fury had hit on her she'd grabbed him by the collar and smacked the crap out of him until he said he'd never do it again. The second time The Fear had tried it she waited for him to fall asleep and then woke him up after The Pain had covered him in bees. He had gotten the hint. The second time The Sorrow had talked to her she did break his nose leading to some incredibly awkward briefing sessions.

The Sorrow was the only one to speak to her a third time. Normally anyway. The others still harboured deep seated fear of her wrath and thus any conversations were stilted and ended quickly-they'd get over it she was sure.

"Hello Joy."

"Hello Sorrow."

"How are you today?"

"Fine. It'd be better if you would come to my room."

"I…am not understanding."

"So you're a virgin."

He stared at her-recognition dawning on his face with horrified and embarrassed expressions making him look like some odd sort of caricature of a person. "I am …not."

"Sure you're not. Come on, pretty boy."

"Joy I am confu-I am not-"

"I said come on not blabber on like an idiot now let's go."

"…Yes Boss."

These are just random little ideas that aren't big enough(or are way too ridiculous) to fit into separate fics or I wanted to make comics or pictures out of but couldn't be arsed to draw. Out of character? Sure. They're just for the lulz-especially the last one ha ha.