Voldemort…Psycho or Misunderstood?
(Note to reader: Read this or hate me forever because you will think that Voldemort and I are BOTH psycho!
Hello, I am the author, which means I wrote the piece of pointless work that you see below this note. I would like to warn you about what you are about to read. This basically insults every Harry Potter character that you have grown to love while reading J.K. Rowling's books. The only person that I talk about and don't say is "evil" and should die is Voldemort, who I call Tom, which is his name. I love him…wait, never mind, you'll hear about that later. Actually, I love Harry and all of those evil people…I mean lovely people in his stories. So please, no nasty e-mails, though, I will laugh hardly and then send my very clever and evil sister to e-mail you a very very very nasty note back. You have been warned. So, please, relax and enjoy and laugh at this stupid work supporting the sweet Dark Lord himself. Thank you for reading my first comedy on FanFiction.net! Reference: I also have a Suspense/Action/Romance story under a different name, Anonymous Quill. And that doesn't call anybody, "evil." That actually shows some thinking and talent, and I also desperately need/want readers. So, respond to my cry for help and read it or you are EVIL! Thank you again.
PS. Penguins are very cool!
PPS. I hold J.K. Rowling in the highest respect. In this piece, I don't seem to, but I actually do! Honest! And, penguins are so cute! They aren't fuzzy though.
PPPS. Don't e-mail me to ask about penguins, I am not interested in your criticism of the swimming arctic bird. Thank you again again!
PPPPS. I am NOT Voldemort's lover; you'll get it later.
PPPPPS. Now you can read.
DeathEaterGirl18)
Have you ever wondered why Voldemort killed people? I believe that he didn't just enjoy killing for fun, nor was he evil, he was just misunderstood. No, really! It wasn't his fault that he had something wrong with his head, or that he was Slytherin. There are many reasons to prove that Voldemort was really a good person at heart, and not the big bad guy that J.K. Rowling makes him out to be. He really is a sweetie at heart.
In the beginning, Tom (let's call him Tom, it sounds nicer) was abandoned. This is where the tragic story begins. If you don't know, his dad, also Tom, left his mother, who died in birth just because she was a witch. That is cruel. Anyway, he was alone in this world, no one to confide in or to hug him when he was sad. No, he was alone, left to live with that angst he had. But that isn't the worst part. Those stupid muggles made him live in an orphanage. The worst part is that he had to endure, wait for it…muggle children! He had a rough life, until he went to Hogwarts.
At the school for magic, our little Tom, who already had it bad, got placed in the worst, and meanest house, Slytherin. What, did you think he actually wanted that house? No, he probably wanted Gryffindor. But, you all probably trust the choices of a stupid hat that sings. Now, what does that say about you? That hat was plotting against him and the world! He basically created Voldemort! If the hat had put him in a good house, none of this would have happened and Tom would have helped the Ministry rather than burden them. Anyway, Tom was placed in that house, the worst house, and, wanting to fit in with his peers, grew to be mean, but, he probably never meant to hurt those other kids at school. So, what you think, he was already mean, you say, but, he wasn't. He was good at heart, everyone is born that way. It's his parent's fault, the stupid Sorting Hat's fault and the kids in his house. But, there are more people to blame.
There is also that stupid Transfiguration teacher, Albus Dumbledore. He was so cruel to poor Tom. Why, because, he is also evil, like everybody else! He thought that he knew Tom, but no, he just wanted him to be evil! He didn't look deeper at all! He just thought, Slytherin? He must be EVIL! That's right! That nice Dumbledore J.K. Rowling writes about in her books is a lie! Dumbledore is the evil one! I don't know why she makes him out to be some hero, but he probably killed people! He, along with many other people were the ones who made our poor little Tom the way he was. They are all evil, and if you think otherwise, you must be evil, too!
Yes, there are more people who turned Tom the way he was. Hagrid, the sweet noble giant who just happens to like monsters. That is just an act, Hagrid is really evil! That innocent little, um, I mean big mask that he wears is just a mask. Hagrid, that cold hearted beast FRAMED Tom! No, really! The Chamber of Secrets, ring a bell? Well, Hagrid really DID open it and kill Moaning Myrtle. Then, he thought he would get away with it. Well, Tom, who was way smarter then that great oaf, figured out his trick. He caught him and got him expelled. Well, you are probably thinking, what about the diary in the second book? Well, Hagrid did have friends, you know. He got them to make that diary and hide it. Evil Hagrid. He framed him again! He made him look bad a second time in Dumbledore's eyes.
[I know you are all probably outraged about how I think everybody is evil, and I have my reasons…
They ARE evil!
They deserve to DIE!
Tom is my lover…not yours!
Tom never has his side of the story told.
Tom is a good kisser.
Harry Potter and the rest of those …so called people get too much popularity, where is Tom's fan club? (Don't say the Death Eaters!)
I love Tom.
Tom is just misunderstood…you all think he's psycho.
Tom loves me…this I know…not you!
Clearly, this essay is not trying to insult you or any of the Harry Potter characters, so, please keep reading this non-discriminating essay…Thank you. I can continue now.]
Now, there are still more people responsible for the way Tom turned out, and even now he isn't that bad. He is a sweetie, as stated above.
Tom was a good boy. Really, you should believe me! He got great marks in school, and he was a prefect. He was even Head Boy! You see he was a good boy!
Anyway, back to business. There are probably more people that have caused Tom to become the Dark Lord that that J.K. woman hasn't told us about yet. When we learn of them, I want you to know, they are also all EVIL!
Now, let's talk about those Potters! They are all EVIL! I have my theories and they are written at the bottom of this in story form! So read them to understand about the Evil Potters! Even that little "good and pure" boy by the name of Harry James Potter is EVIL! And because of them, Tom got even more misunderstood.
Now, I know you all hate me now, and now you all think that I am psycho. What, do I have to write an essay saying that I am misunderstood? Let's just say that I know the truth about things. I know that Voldemort (let's go back to Voldemort) is just misunderstood. He really just wants to reunite families, that's all. When he killed his father, he just wanted to put his parents back together. HE wanted to go to, but he knew he had to help more people and save more families. It's the same story with the Potters. Their deaths were just, and now, he feels terrible and wants the best for little Harry, he wants to reunite the Potters. But will Harry listen, no; he just won't open his eyes, like the rest of you EVIL PEOPLE!
Note: You are NOT evil. I do not think you are evil either. It just adds to the stupidity I am giving myself and the pointlessness of this writing. Continue reading.
You all just won't believe that maybe you are the wrong ones and not Voldemort! Voldemort is helping the world! So the Minsitry doesn't like him, they just won't open their eyes either because they are EVIL!
Clearly, Voldemort is NOT psycho or evil! It's just that you are blind and you think you are good. Just because he is DIFFERENT, doesn't mean that he is BAD! You think you are good and he is bad, but it is the other way around! You are EVIL! Thank you, all of you evil people who are reading this stupidity, for your time! Hopefully, this has insulted you…
Note: Not really, I don't, but I wanted to say that. Continue…
…EVIL PEOPLE that you are. But, I do hope maybe you will listen to Voldemort's side sometimes and maybe even try to understand him better. If J.K. Rowling or anyone that knows her reads this, please ask her to/ try to develop and give readers a better understanding of Voldemort. I would like to know just as much about the enemy as the so-called "hero" Harry Potter.
Note: I am serious about that. Not that you are evil, but that I do want to know about Voldemort.
Finally, you are thinking, she's done writing, well, no, not quite. I still have my theories about the true story about Harry Potter. Don't read it if you love James and Lily a lot. There is good reason that you should stay away from what is below, but I wrote it anyway. Here it goes…
The TRUE Story of Harry Potter
DeathEaterGirl18
Okay, you probably all think Lily is an innocent little flower and that Voldemort doesn't have a heart even after reading all of that above. But, once again, you are wrong, this time though, you are NOT evil. Read with caution….
Once, a long time ago, lived one of the greatest witches that ever lived. Her name was Lily Evans. At Hogwarts, she met a handsome boy, James Potter. They fell in love, for they had a lot in common. They were both powerful, good at magic, Head Boy and Head Girl and the nicest people you could ever meet. It was like a fairy tale. They got married and had a…
Okay, hold it! Life isn't like that! The real story is a lot more interesting! Okay, here it goes. This is the TRUTH! Not that little fairytale story for babies! That makes me gag!
Sure, sure, James and Lily fell in love and all of that, but Lily was interested in more than just James. Hey, she had Peter Petigrew, Sirius Black, Reamus Lupin and even a lovely older man, much older, named Tom Marvolo Riddle.
That isn't how the story goes…
Let me finish.
Fine, go ahead!
Thank you. As I was saying, Lily had a lot of lovers. They all never knew she was seeing their own friends, she told them all not to tell anyone, and, because she was so "great," they listened.
Hey, you are going too far! Lily, a slut? No, that isn't right I…
Just let me finish! Anyway, After a while, Lily got tired of them, so she let them all go except James. Now, later on, Sirius figured out that Peter was seeing her while he was, so, he tried to kill him, so, don't believe that phony story in the Third book.
You are ruining the Harry Potter story!
Shut up. Again, anyway, Peter did run away as a rat and lived with the Weasley family. But, before that, Lily went to a pub and met a lovely man, Tom Riddle.
You've got to be kidding…
She and James were now married, but she didn't care. She got a little drunk and she and Tom…
Oh, no. You can't be serious!
…well, you know. Anyway, James found out. He followed the advice, "an eye for an eye." He went with the unmentioned sister of Lily, Orchid Evans.
Lily would never! And now you've got James at it too?
Lily found out, and she was very mad. She lectured him about how she was NEVER unfaithful…yeah right…and that she was very hurt. That night, she went to her "other" and asked him to kill off her sister, Orchid. When Tom agreed, she kissed him passionately and left his arms.
This is getting weird.
The next day, Orchid was mysteriously found dead. No one in the Evans family cared.
Yeah right.
But, Lily, who was going to have her child, was getting tired of her lover, Tom. She soon broke up with him. Tom, who you all know is Voldemort, was mad. He wanted her, but now, he hated her. If she couldn't be his, she wouldn't be anybody's girl! He wanted her to be his and James to die..
This is messed.
Messed, but true. May I continue?
Might as well.
About a year passed after their son, who they named Harry James Potter, was born. That was the night Voldemort attacked. He killed off James, and went to Lily. He wasn't going to kill her, he loved her. He killed her on accident, really! Then, he saw little Harry. He felt bad and. wanted him to be with his parents. So, he tried to kill him. But, that old magic! Well, you know the rest. But, was Harry really James's kid, or Voldemort's kid?
Whatever! He was James and Lily's boy, not the Dark Lord. But, we are done here. I'm sorry if the story scared you, because it scared me.
Scary, but true!
AHHHHH!
(Note to reader: Read this or hate me forever because you will think that Voldemort and I are BOTH psycho!
Hello, I am the author, which means I wrote the piece of pointless work that you see below this note. I would like to warn you about what you are about to read. This basically insults every Harry Potter character that you have grown to love while reading J.K. Rowling's books. The only person that I talk about and don't say is "evil" and should die is Voldemort, who I call Tom, which is his name. I love him…wait, never mind, you'll hear about that later. Actually, I love Harry and all of those evil people…I mean lovely people in his stories. So please, no nasty e-mails, though, I will laugh hardly and then send my very clever and evil sister to e-mail you a very very very nasty note back. You have been warned. So, please, relax and enjoy and laugh at this stupid work supporting the sweet Dark Lord himself. Thank you for reading my first comedy on FanFiction.net! Reference: I also have a Suspense/Action/Romance story under a different name, Anonymous Quill. And that doesn't call anybody, "evil." That actually shows some thinking and talent, and I also desperately need/want readers. So, respond to my cry for help and read it or you are EVIL! Thank you again.
PS. Penguins are very cool!
PPS. I hold J.K. Rowling in the highest respect. In this piece, I don't seem to, but I actually do! Honest! And, penguins are so cute! They aren't fuzzy though.
PPPS. Don't e-mail me to ask about penguins, I am not interested in your criticism of the swimming arctic bird. Thank you again again!
PPPPS. I am NOT Voldemort's lover; you'll get it later.
PPPPPS. Now you can read.
DeathEaterGirl18)
Have you ever wondered why Voldemort killed people? I believe that he didn't just enjoy killing for fun, nor was he evil, he was just misunderstood. No, really! It wasn't his fault that he had something wrong with his head, or that he was Slytherin. There are many reasons to prove that Voldemort was really a good person at heart, and not the big bad guy that J.K. Rowling makes him out to be. He really is a sweetie at heart.
In the beginning, Tom (let's call him Tom, it sounds nicer) was abandoned. This is where the tragic story begins. If you don't know, his dad, also Tom, left his mother, who died in birth just because she was a witch. That is cruel. Anyway, he was alone in this world, no one to confide in or to hug him when he was sad. No, he was alone, left to live with that angst he had. But that isn't the worst part. Those stupid muggles made him live in an orphanage. The worst part is that he had to endure, wait for it…muggle children! He had a rough life, until he went to Hogwarts.
At the school for magic, our little Tom, who already had it bad, got placed in the worst, and meanest house, Slytherin. What, did you think he actually wanted that house? No, he probably wanted Gryffindor. But, you all probably trust the choices of a stupid hat that sings. Now, what does that say about you? That hat was plotting against him and the world! He basically created Voldemort! If the hat had put him in a good house, none of this would have happened and Tom would have helped the Ministry rather than burden them. Anyway, Tom was placed in that house, the worst house, and, wanting to fit in with his peers, grew to be mean, but, he probably never meant to hurt those other kids at school. So, what you think, he was already mean, you say, but, he wasn't. He was good at heart, everyone is born that way. It's his parent's fault, the stupid Sorting Hat's fault and the kids in his house. But, there are more people to blame.
There is also that stupid Transfiguration teacher, Albus Dumbledore. He was so cruel to poor Tom. Why, because, he is also evil, like everybody else! He thought that he knew Tom, but no, he just wanted him to be evil! He didn't look deeper at all! He just thought, Slytherin? He must be EVIL! That's right! That nice Dumbledore J.K. Rowling writes about in her books is a lie! Dumbledore is the evil one! I don't know why she makes him out to be some hero, but he probably killed people! He, along with many other people were the ones who made our poor little Tom the way he was. They are all evil, and if you think otherwise, you must be evil, too!
Yes, there are more people who turned Tom the way he was. Hagrid, the sweet noble giant who just happens to like monsters. That is just an act, Hagrid is really evil! That innocent little, um, I mean big mask that he wears is just a mask. Hagrid, that cold hearted beast FRAMED Tom! No, really! The Chamber of Secrets, ring a bell? Well, Hagrid really DID open it and kill Moaning Myrtle. Then, he thought he would get away with it. Well, Tom, who was way smarter then that great oaf, figured out his trick. He caught him and got him expelled. Well, you are probably thinking, what about the diary in the second book? Well, Hagrid did have friends, you know. He got them to make that diary and hide it. Evil Hagrid. He framed him again! He made him look bad a second time in Dumbledore's eyes.
[I know you are all probably outraged about how I think everybody is evil, and I have my reasons…
They ARE evil!
They deserve to DIE!
Tom is my lover…not yours!
Tom never has his side of the story told.
Tom is a good kisser.
Harry Potter and the rest of those …so called people get too much popularity, where is Tom's fan club? (Don't say the Death Eaters!)
I love Tom.
Tom is just misunderstood…you all think he's psycho.
Tom loves me…this I know…not you!
Clearly, this essay is not trying to insult you or any of the Harry Potter characters, so, please keep reading this non-discriminating essay…Thank you. I can continue now.]
Now, there are still more people responsible for the way Tom turned out, and even now he isn't that bad. He is a sweetie, as stated above.
Tom was a good boy. Really, you should believe me! He got great marks in school, and he was a prefect. He was even Head Boy! You see he was a good boy!
Anyway, back to business. There are probably more people that have caused Tom to become the Dark Lord that that J.K. woman hasn't told us about yet. When we learn of them, I want you to know, they are also all EVIL!
Now, let's talk about those Potters! They are all EVIL! I have my theories and they are written at the bottom of this in story form! So read them to understand about the Evil Potters! Even that little "good and pure" boy by the name of Harry James Potter is EVIL! And because of them, Tom got even more misunderstood.
Now, I know you all hate me now, and now you all think that I am psycho. What, do I have to write an essay saying that I am misunderstood? Let's just say that I know the truth about things. I know that Voldemort (let's go back to Voldemort) is just misunderstood. He really just wants to reunite families, that's all. When he killed his father, he just wanted to put his parents back together. HE wanted to go to, but he knew he had to help more people and save more families. It's the same story with the Potters. Their deaths were just, and now, he feels terrible and wants the best for little Harry, he wants to reunite the Potters. But will Harry listen, no; he just won't open his eyes, like the rest of you EVIL PEOPLE!
Note: You are NOT evil. I do not think you are evil either. It just adds to the stupidity I am giving myself and the pointlessness of this writing. Continue reading.
You all just won't believe that maybe you are the wrong ones and not Voldemort! Voldemort is helping the world! So the Minsitry doesn't like him, they just won't open their eyes either because they are EVIL!
Clearly, Voldemort is NOT psycho or evil! It's just that you are blind and you think you are good. Just because he is DIFFERENT, doesn't mean that he is BAD! You think you are good and he is bad, but it is the other way around! You are EVIL! Thank you, all of you evil people who are reading this stupidity, for your time! Hopefully, this has insulted you…
Note: Not really, I don't, but I wanted to say that. Continue…
…EVIL PEOPLE that you are. But, I do hope maybe you will listen to Voldemort's side sometimes and maybe even try to understand him better. If J.K. Rowling or anyone that knows her reads this, please ask her to/ try to develop and give readers a better understanding of Voldemort. I would like to know just as much about the enemy as the so-called "hero" Harry Potter.
Note: I am serious about that. Not that you are evil, but that I do want to know about Voldemort.
Finally, you are thinking, she's done writing, well, no, not quite. I still have my theories about the true story about Harry Potter. Don't read it if you love James and Lily a lot. There is good reason that you should stay away from what is below, but I wrote it anyway. Here it goes…
The TRUE Story of Harry Potter
DeathEaterGirl18
Okay, you probably all think Lily is an innocent little flower and that Voldemort doesn't have a heart even after reading all of that above. But, once again, you are wrong, this time though, you are NOT evil. Read with caution….
Once, a long time ago, lived one of the greatest witches that ever lived. Her name was Lily Evans. At Hogwarts, she met a handsome boy, James Potter. They fell in love, for they had a lot in common. They were both powerful, good at magic, Head Boy and Head Girl and the nicest people you could ever meet. It was like a fairy tale. They got married and had a…
Okay, hold it! Life isn't like that! The real story is a lot more interesting! Okay, here it goes. This is the TRUTH! Not that little fairytale story for babies! That makes me gag!
Sure, sure, James and Lily fell in love and all of that, but Lily was interested in more than just James. Hey, she had Peter Petigrew, Sirius Black, Reamus Lupin and even a lovely older man, much older, named Tom Marvolo Riddle.
That isn't how the story goes…
Let me finish.
Fine, go ahead!
Thank you. As I was saying, Lily had a lot of lovers. They all never knew she was seeing their own friends, she told them all not to tell anyone, and, because she was so "great," they listened.
Hey, you are going too far! Lily, a slut? No, that isn't right I…
Just let me finish! Anyway, After a while, Lily got tired of them, so she let them all go except James. Now, later on, Sirius figured out that Peter was seeing her while he was, so, he tried to kill him, so, don't believe that phony story in the Third book.
You are ruining the Harry Potter story!
Shut up. Again, anyway, Peter did run away as a rat and lived with the Weasley family. But, before that, Lily went to a pub and met a lovely man, Tom Riddle.
You've got to be kidding…
She and James were now married, but she didn't care. She got a little drunk and she and Tom…
Oh, no. You can't be serious!
…well, you know. Anyway, James found out. He followed the advice, "an eye for an eye." He went with the unmentioned sister of Lily, Orchid Evans.
Lily would never! And now you've got James at it too?
Lily found out, and she was very mad. She lectured him about how she was NEVER unfaithful…yeah right…and that she was very hurt. That night, she went to her "other" and asked him to kill off her sister, Orchid. When Tom agreed, she kissed him passionately and left his arms.
This is getting weird.
The next day, Orchid was mysteriously found dead. No one in the Evans family cared.
Yeah right.
But, Lily, who was going to have her child, was getting tired of her lover, Tom. She soon broke up with him. Tom, who you all know is Voldemort, was mad. He wanted her, but now, he hated her. If she couldn't be his, she wouldn't be anybody's girl! He wanted her to be his and James to die..
This is messed.
Messed, but true. May I continue?
Might as well.
About a year passed after their son, who they named Harry James Potter, was born. That was the night Voldemort attacked. He killed off James, and went to Lily. He wasn't going to kill her, he loved her. He killed her on accident, really! Then, he saw little Harry. He felt bad and. wanted him to be with his parents. So, he tried to kill him. But, that old magic! Well, you know the rest. But, was Harry really James's kid, or Voldemort's kid?
Whatever! He was James and Lily's boy, not the Dark Lord. But, we are done here. I'm sorry if the story scared you, because it scared me.
Scary, but true!
AHHHHH!