Author's Notes: Despite what my fics might show, I';m a huge fan of the Autozam faction. (One day, I will review all the fics I've read!) A short vignette that's a short, possibly unrealistically dark look at Geo Metro soon after the war ends. Set in the anime time line.
Warnings: Mention of death, dark themes.
Spoilers: End of the anime.
Obligatory Disclaimer: I own on part of Magic Knight Rayearth or any of its characters. (*slaps forehead* I put Fushigi Yuugi last time. Thanks for pointing that out, my dear little reviewers!)
Solitaire
I always wondered
at the destinies of heroes once they reached the end of their stories. Once he
attains victory, what conquest is left for him in the coming years? Does he not
realize that once the bloody hands of thieves and murderers have covered the
trails of glory that there is no path to follow, no destiny left to guide us
left living at the hands of ill mercy?
Did Eagle realize,
at any moment as he soared upon the wings of stars, that he was one of those
fallen heroes, a faded star commanding an army of minions whose should had
already been lost? What were his final thoughts as that blinding flash of white
overwhelmed his vision, tearing his mind to pieces? Did he finally realize in
those final moments the fruitlessness of his desires? Did he understand that by
surrendering his life to fate and casting his dice upon misfortune's table he
had damned Autozam to a future far worse than self-destruction?
Destiny never
considers consequence before playing her hand at the lives of mortal men. How
carelessly she scatters her deck of cards across the dark table of the
universe, idly carrying the balance between life and death within the palm of
her hand. She is cruel, perhaps of necessity, perhaps of will. No matter her
perspective, her role in the lives of men is a spectrum in which she never has
to face her reflection. It is we, those refused immortality, who gaze at hollow
manifestations of our former beings within the mirror reality.
I clutch tightly in
one hand the smooth, cool stone of Autozam's energy crystals. The surface is
polished and shines brightly in the brilliance of the hall's illumination, dim
as it may be, for our reflections never fade away even in the darkest of
nights.
At times I feel the
breath slip away from me, my heart's erratic cadence fade to a faint beat, and
I bring the crystal to my face so I can lean against it and assure myself of
the reality of my flesh as the cold sinks into the hollow of my throat. I need
to feel that energy flowing through my shattered form to know that I'm still
alive, to know that I did not extinguish among those stars as Eagle did so many
years ago. I need to know that I am still breathing, and I did not die in those
few devastating seconds after he disappeared from my existence.
Time stopped when
he died, and my heart remained forever frozen in those few horrible seconds of
unreality that overwhelmed me. I bore witness to the death of Autozam's
brightest star, and I pay the price of my loss even now. I am simply a planet,
a living being. Eagle was the sun that melted the frost covering the land and
renewed life, sprouting hope where the fertile earth gave was allowing.
Can the planet
thrive without the loving sun to strengthen and encourage its growth?
I clutch the
crystal tighter as the shards cut my fingers and reveal to me the crimson
reality of survival. Does Fate ever take that essential second glance upon her
cards before playing her hand? Little children who scatter marbles across the
warm cement of the city street never bother to retrieve the lost orb they leave
behind in the wake of the sun.
I feel as though
the light has betrayed us all. An eternity of darkness is what awaits the
fallen sphere that spins perpetually upon an axis of upheaval and betrayal. He
is the exiled servant, former comrade of the hero who fell in battle. Does the
forgotten knight ever return to trail ghostly fingers gently across the soft
skin of the beloved who became the victims of providence? Does the struggling
flower upon the wicked tundra ever absorb the comforting heat of the scattered
sun, alone and singular, as he is, a solitary figure in the grand scheme of the
black and ponderous universe?
No longer will I be
the discarded hand of fate!
My fingers tremble
with the onset of hypothermia as my soul reminds my living form of the time in
which I remain, trapped forever in the darkness of an iniquitous reminiscence.
The crystal falls from my grip and shatters upon impact against the dull grey
metal of the floor.
The sun was always
so very fragile.
I press my face
against the chilling metal of the wall, my eyes falling upon the stars to my
left. Ear pressed against the side of the ship, I listen desperately for the
soft sound of the passing universe. I need to know that I'm not forever trapped
in the past, that time hasn't stopped and I'm alive. I need to hear it echo in
my ear as loudly as the shuddering beat of my heart. Silently, I press on,
desiring one last game of chance with Fate.
And then I wonder,
as I watch upon the stars, why the silence never ends.
I apologize for the dark nature of this story, but it was something I felt the need to write. If you feel it is out of character, please do inform me of such. I also just wanted to mention that it would be unfair to claim this story as completely original property. The story was inspired by an amazing piece of literature by an author named Amalin, and I highly recommend reading her work sometime soon! But thank you for reading, and I do hope you enjoyed it.
