A/N – This story is based from the work stared by Annajadekin. They asked me to write their story they started called 'Secrets Are Never Kept For Forever'. I hope you guys like it. There will be dialogue from the show, but I am trying to use as little as possible. Disclaimer: I don't own Rizzoli and Isles and all right should be going to TNT.
Jane Rizzoli, 28 year old, Boston Homicide Detective. Most people know Jane for her badass and snarky attitude. But what no one knew was what she had kept hidden since she was but 10 years old. Normally, people would be excited about being intelligent. About knowing what people are talking about all the time, and knowing more facts to go with the topics. But when it came to Jane Rizzoli, that excitement and pride had be knocked aside for shame and fear. Fear of how people would treat her. She learnt from a very young age that people could be incredibly cruel. That, when people didn't like or understand something, they would lash out and destroy any part of that unique person.
When Jane met Maura on their first case together, she instantly felt admiration for the woman. She could see that Maura was similar to herself. Incredibly intelligent, and quirky. But the difference between Jane and Maura, was Maura didn't try to hide what she clearly had. Maura wore her intelligence like she wore her designer dresses. With confidence and determination. Jane looked upon Maura, and tried to figure out how someone could be so resilient towards all the people that didn't understand. But she made certain that she would stand by Maura. Support Maura. If ever hearing condescending or derogatory comments towards Maura, Jane would be there defending her like a guard dog.
They had just caught a new case. Katie Gaynor-Randle, was found dead at the back of a lesbian bar. The two instantly fell into their rolls in the case. As Jane canvased the area, Maura started inspecting the body. The two of them had started to form a little routine of their own. Maura would inspect the body, and would then report her initial findings to Jane. But she would never be one to make assumptions about anything. Even if it they were the most blaringly obvious thing in the world. For starters, the 'reddish brown stain' was never blood until Maura could run the tests back at the lab. What caught both of their eyes, was the device attached to the victims hip.
"The pagers totalled." Jane mumbled. She didn't have a clear look at it from where she was standing, and even if she did, she wouldn't have called it what it was.
"It's not a pager. It's a glucose-management system. An insulin pump." Over the years Jane had gotten use to listening to Maura correct her. Jane had to learn to walk the fine line between intelligent and incompetent. She needed to show enough smarts so people didn't think she was a complete idiot, but not so much that it would arouse suspicion.
"So she was diabetic?" Duh.
"Indeed." Maura looked up at Jane, and could see the thoughtful expression across her face. Maura had always been good at reading people. She learnt when she was in school and she never had any friends. Maura learnt how to read people to understand what they were feeling when they were around her. So she had picked up on how to read a person's expression. But she always found it difficult to tell what Jane was feeling. She was a guarded and closed off person, and it made it hard for Maura to get to know her. "Huh. Yeah. Needle sticks. She probably had to check her glucose level five to ten times a day." Reaching over to the purse, Maura pulled out a small book. "Yeah, she kept careful records. Her last glucose reading was over four hundred." Jane turned away for a second to catch herself. Her initial reaction was 'Shit that is way too high' but she replied with,
"Is that good or bad?" It was about the only thing she could think to say. She always tried to make it seem as though Maura knew more than her, which meant constantly having to ask stupid questions.
"It's extremely high." Jane could have grumbled at Maura's response. That doesn't really help her much.
"Is that good or bad?" She repeated.
"Bad. She wasn't getting any insulin. She…" Maura looked up as she heard Jane jump in and cut her off.
"Probably had slurred speech. Trouble walking. That must explain why there isn't any defensive wounds. She couldn't defend herself." Jane caught Maura's gaze, and suddenly realised what she had said. Being the sneaky person she was, she was able to think on her feet. "What? I had an Uncle who had diabetes. I use to see him every New Year, and that never ended well." Maura stared at Jane. She wasn't completely convinced.
"So you knew the symptoms, but you didn't understand the numbers?" Maura questioned Jane. Jane suddenly felt much more pressured. She knew she had slipped and tried to cover it as best she could. But she forgot Maura could be very persistent when she chose to be. Without answering Maura's question, Jane turned around and started talking to Frost about the murder weapon. Maura noticed how Jane reacted to being called out on knowing something like that. She had known Jane long enough to know that she doesn't spout out facts like that. She thought maybe it was just a one off, and Jane's excuse was true. But Maura was certain to be keeping an eye on Jane.
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They called in the spouse, Mel, and interrogated her. Just from the sounds of it she had a pretty solid alibi. Jane and Frost headed back up to the main room, and started brainstorming about any other viable suspects. Frost was off doing his IT work, which left Jane just sitting there twiddling her thumbs. She jumped up from her chair and started heading towards the elevator.
"Hey where are you going?" Frost called to her before she reached the doors.
"I'm going down to the morgue to see if Maura's got anything for us. Call if you need me." And she was gone. Jane found herself spending half her time down in the morgue. She found she was able to think better when she was with Maura. When she spoke to anyone, she felt like she was speaking to a brick wall. A lot of the time people weren't able to think of things as fast as Jane could. She never kept information secret if it could help the case, but otherwise, she kept her mouth shut. But when she was talking to Maura, she didn't have to stand there silent for so long because Maura was doing the talking for her. It was as though Maura could hear Jane's thoughts, and she was able to say them for her.
Jane stood just outside the morgue doors. She was looking in watching Maura work. She was so delicate and graceful with her movements. She could see that Maura cared for the victim's bodies the same way a mother would care for her child. Jane always had a feeling of warmth whenever she was with Maura, or thought of her, or even just got to watch her doing everyday things. She shook her head trying to clear her thoughts. She needed her head in the game if she was going to work this case properly. Pushing open the door, she went into her snarky mode. It was her only way she wouldn't blurt something out by accident. She had already slipped up once recently, and she had no intentions of doing it again.
"You do realise she doesn't have to worry about the scar."
"Don't rush me." Maura whined. She loved having Jane around, but she could be rather a pain at times.
"Well multi task then. Do what women were born to do that men have never been able to learn. Now do you have a time of death for me?" Without looking up Maura continued to finish stitching up the body.
"The liver temperature I took hepatically was 88.4 degrees."
"So she was killed between 11 and 12 hours ago?" Maura's head snapped up and looked at Jane. Maura stood up straight and stared right at Jane.
"Yes. How did you know that?" Jane's eyes went so wide, Jane thought her eyes would bug out of her head. She was struggling to keep her mind shut off whenever she was around Maura. Maura never judged anyone. It made Jane forget that she needed to hide herself from the world. Jane looked down and started shifting from one foot to the next.
"I guess I've listened to you often enough to pick up a few things." Jane's voice broke and betrayed herself. Maura studied Jane's facial features, and picked up on her signature tell tail signs.
"Jane, don't lie to me. What's going on with you?" Maura could see Jane was becoming increasingly uncomfortable. As much as she hated causing Jane such discomfort, she needed to know what Jane was hiding from her.
"Maura...You know me better than anyone. Ever. But there are just somethings I don't want people knowing about me."
"While that may be the case Jane, I don't feel happy that you are not telling me something. I don't want to pressure you, but knowing you aren't telling me something…I just don't like it." Jane took a deep breath trying to really think about whether or not she should tell Maura. Maura was quite possibly the only other person Jane truly trusted. They would talk about anything and everything for hours on end. When Jane kept thinking it over in her head, she started rubbing the back of her hands. One of the nervous habits she had picked up over the years. Maura looked down at Jane's hands, and her heart started to twinge. She knew the reasons why Jane would be doing that, and the guilt immediately over took her. "Jane, I'm sorry I just…"
"No, I understand Maura. I wouldn't like it if someone was lying to me." Maura sagged her shoulders in defeat but still looked at Jane's hands.
"At least stop rubbing your hands like that. You'll end up doing more damage than already has been done." At that comment, the only thing Jane could think of was a memory from a few years ago with Frankie.
"Jane, can you get the foam ball from my room?" Frankie yelled from where he sat in the living room. Jane strolled in from the kitchen and stood at the side of the couch.
"Frankie, you ripped a tendon in your knuckle. You didn't break your legs." Frankie paused the TV, and looked up at Jane. A look of pure innocence on his face.
"Yes, but Ma doesn't like it when I move. She says she doesn't want me to hurt anything else." The look he was giving Jane had her blood boiling. Frankie and Tommy were the two angel children. They could do no wrong. Jane may have been the brainiac, but that didn't stop her parents from treating her brothers like fragile glass babies all the time. Angela never wanted her children to do anything dangerous. If she had the option she would wrap them all up in bubble wrap. But Jane shot that idea down before Angela could even think about going to get the bubble wrap.
"You know if you keep doing the exercises as frequently as you are, you'll end up doing more damage than you already have." Frankie's brows furrowed in confusion. His physio had told him to work on his hand. Do some exercises. Massage the skin. Just keep the hand moving.
"What are you talking about?"
"You've worked with the ball for about three hours already today. All you're doing is stretching the tendon. What you're not doing is keeping the tendon from healing back attached to the skin. You need to do less moving work, and more massaging of the hand. If you move the skin around, it means the tendon won't get the chance to heal to the skin. Which means when you do actually recover properly you should have a more full range of motion. It won't hurt so much to make a fist or flex your fingers." There was a small look of horror on Frankie's face, and Jane couldn't help but laugh at the look on his face.
"In that case then, would you mind getting me the cream from the draw in the kitchen." He pointed over his shoulder, and Jane just made her way back to the kitchen without another word. Her brothers were a pain in her ass the most of the time, but she never wanted them to be in pain. As she walked back into the kitchen she found her Ma preparing dinner.
"Why do you always have to treat Frankie and Tommy like their still 2 years old? They can look after themselves."
"I don't treat them like their 2. I treat them like they are my children." Jane moved to the draw holding the cream. "And just because I baby them doesn't mean you won't still be my little princess." Angela moved over to Jane and tried to press a kiss to the side of Jane's head. But being the stubborn person she was, Jane just pushed her Ma away.
"Jane?" Jane shook her head out of her thoughts and saw Maura standing right in front of her, holding Jane's hands to keep her from rubbing them endlessly. "Where did you go?" Jane gave her a small smile, but even she didn't believe it. It was the smile you pull when you pass a stranger in the street. Or when you are in the most awkward situation ever and have no idea what else to do.
"Nowhere. Just something you said reminded me of something. And by the way, rubbing at an injury like this," Jane held her hands up to gesture to the injury in hand. Or on it in this case. "Actually is better for me than leaving them alone. I just shouldn't be rubbing them without cream or quite so hard I guess."
"See. Its comments like that, that don't seem right. Jane, what are you not telling me?" Jane took a deep breath. She was going to do it. Maura would be the first person in eighteen years to learn of her secret. She opened her mouth and was about to talk when the door behind them flew open, and Korsak came strolling in.
"Hey. Just wanted to make sure you hadn't joined the good doctor's collection." Korsak said as he entered the morgue. His comment was directed at Jane. Maura looked from Korsak back to Jane and could see that any chance she had of knowing the truth were gone for the time being. Jane was nervous enough when it was just the two of them. She knew she had no chance of getting anything out of Jane whilst there was someone else in the room. "Did I interrupt something?" Korsak asked as her looked at their hands still joined together. Jane pulled her hands away so fast, you could almost hear the whoosh of the air moving past them.
"No. Nothing. Maura was just explaining what she had found on the body." Jane couldn't bring herself to look in the eyes of either of the other two people in the room. Maura decided not to go any further with the topic for the moment. But she would be certain to continue the conversation with Jane at a later time. Turning back to the body on her table she started explaining how she found deerskin fibres, and she believed that the assault and rape occurred post-mortem. Korsak took note of everything Maura said and headed back upstairs. Jane told him she would be up in a moment. She just needed another moment with Maura.
"Maura, I'm sorry but…I just…"
"Come to my house this evening. We can order a pizza. Watch a movie. Talk, or not. Whatever you want to do. Just come get me when you plan to leave this evening." Jane understood what Maura was doing. She was giving Jane an out. And opportunity to forget everything that had happened just moments ago. "But I do expect an answer as to why you are lying to me. Or at least not telling me something." Or not. Jane resigned to herself. She nodded her head slowly. She knew it was the right thing to do. As well as the fairest thing. She couldn't keep lying to Maura. She felt bad having done it when Maura was unaware. But now she knew something was up, and she couldn't lie to her anymore. "Thank you."
"I better get back upstairs. Frost is probably wondering where I got off to." Jane turned and headed for the door. With her hand on the doorknob, she looked over her shoulder, and whispered out, "Thank you Maura. I'll see you tonight." Even though Jane knew she still had to face the truth, Maura had given her time to cope and prepare herself for the night ahead. As Jane made her way back upstairs, she suddenly realised, Maura would be the first person she told her secret to since she was 10. Jane had kept this secret with her for so long now, and it dawned on her. For the first time, in a long time, Jane was nervous. Jane was scared. She wasn't scared about how Maura would react. It scared her how it could change their relationship. But she had to trust Maura that everything would be alright.
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A/N – Okay, hope you enjoyed Chapter 1. How do you think things will go? Leave me reviews and I hope you enjoyed the stories. Goodbye my lovelies.