Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders or any of it's characters. Only Janet, and possibly some others in the future.

A/N: Hey. I just want to point out that anytime something appears between double hyphens, like this --blank-- it means that it is something that has been scratched out. I can't actually do the embedded line font on here, so I hope that everyone can follow what I mean by this. Thanks and enjoy!

Thursday September 8h, 1966

I hate having to start a new journal but the old one got filled up so fast that I have to use this one. It's like starting over again, only not the good starting over but instead the kind where you have to think of what you're going to say all over again, because there's no picking up where you left off. It's not like I have anything important to say. It's just that I don't have any friends to talk about. Actually that's not true. I have a few friends, I just choose not to talk to them outside of school. They're a waste of time anyway. Yesterday they started smoking. What do I care about smoking? People who smoke so that they can "try" to be cool are the biggest nerds of all. Besides, I'm really only friends with them so that I have people to talk to at school.

The people I really want to be friends with I'm not even allowed to be around. Keith said so. Everybody else calls him Two-Bit but since he won't call me Jenny then I'm not going to call him Two-Bit. I tried to tell him that Jenny is a nickname for Janet but he just laughed.

"It's not nickname if it's as long as your own."

"Two-Bit is longer than Keith!"

"You didn't let me finish," he said. "It's not a nickname if it's as long as your own AND if you make it up yourself."

Except that I didn't really make it up. But I'll get back to that later. What I wanted to say is that I'm not allowed to be friends with the people that I want to. All because they're Keith's friends too. I told him that I don't care about that but he says that he does. Just because I'm twelve. Well, Ponyboy is only two years older than me and he gets to be part of their gang, and guess what? It's only because his brothers are in it, not because they really want him around. I wish I could tell him that too. He acts like he's so cool just because he gets to be one of their friends when they probably don't even like him. Maybe Keith likes him, but he likes almost everybody. Even some of his teachers I think. Who likes their teachers? Who likes teachers who fail them? I know I'm adopted, I just know it. I used to think my brother was joking when he told me that but now I'm sure of it. How else can it be that he likes practically everybody he meets while I wish they would all drop dead. Okay, maybe not everybody, but it would be nice if a good chunk of them just jumped into a lake and never climbed back out.

Anyway, back to why I'm angry at Keith in the first place. See, Jenny's kind of my alter ego. I just learned about alter egos from a girl in my class and decided that I need one. I love this song "Poor Jenny" by The Everly Brothers. It's about this boy who goes to a party with a girl and then she gets into a fight. She gets put in jail, not because she was fighting but because she's the leader of a gang. Part of the song says something about her having a brother who's hot on the guys trail and how her dad wants to run him out of town. Maybe I don't have a dad but I do have a brother. Not that he would ever go after anybody for me, but that's not the point. When I'm older I want to have my own gang, and only girls can be in it. We can have boyfriends of course, but girls will run it. But anyway, Jenny is a nickname from Janet so I don't see why people can't just call me that. Janet is so boring. Not cute at all.

I have to go. Mom just got home and I know she's going to ask me why I didn't bother cleaning the kitchen. I didn't clean it because I didn't make the mess. She never asks Keith to clean. And she never gets mad when he doesn't. Maybe I'll just run away.

LATER

Keith came home and told me that Ponyboy Curtis got jumped today by a bunch of rich kids. I laughed. He didn't find it funny but honestly how stupid do you have to be to walk home alone when you know that there are people out to make your life hell? I really don't understand why they let him hang around. He's probably not even a good fighter. I've never actually seen him get into a fight, but then again I've never seen his brother Darry get into one either but I'm pretty sure he'd win. I don't mind Darry. He's really old but I've heard that he's given Ponyboy a hard time about things so that makes him alright by me. I do feel bad for them that their parents died but I can't feel sorry for them forever.

I guess one of the people who jumped Ponyboy actually tried to cut him. I don't know why all the fun stuff happens to him. He got to skip a grade. How fair is that? I'm twice as smart as him but they wont let me skip. And he gets to live alone with just his brothers. I love my mom but I bet if it was just my brother and me that this house would be a big party all the time. That's another thing. I bet Ponyboy gets to got to parties and stuff with them. I've never been to anything like that and from the looks of it I never will either. My mom seems to think that I'm two and not twelve. It's fine to tell me how old I am when she thinks that I need to be more responsible but when I want to do something fun she tells me that I'm too young for it. And then she's always telling me that ladies to this and ladies to that. "Proper ladies don't sprawl out on the couch like that, Janet," or "Proper ladies don't hunch their backs" and blah blah blah. What do I care if I'm a proper lady? I haven't seen many of them around here. I'm twice the lady now than half of the girls in this place will ever be with their dyed hair and short skirts.

It's not like Mom would ever let me dye my hair anyway. She's always going on and on about how pretty is, not really dark brown but not dark red either. Auburn is what she calls it. I think I would be best as a blonde though. I saw a magazine from England the other day with a girl with her hair bleached so much it almost looks white, and it's short, to about her chin. Mom says that's a bob. She also says I can't get one. I don't see why she cares what I do with MY hair. I wonder what she would do if I cut it off and dyed it. Probably make me shave my head just to teach me a lesson.

Well I don't care what she thinks. Maybe I will dye my hair, just to tick her off. She never has anything bad to say when --Two-Bit-- Keith does something wrong or that she really shouldn't like. Why am I any different? Tomorrow I'm going to look into hair dye. Maybe see how much it will cost to get my hair cut. I've got a couple of dollars hidden in my secret spot. I would say where that is but I don't trust my brother not to come snooping in here and then taking my money. He's done both before. He picks up my diary and reads it anytime he finds it lying around (which is why it's NEVER lying around anymore) and afterwards he always has something to say to me about it. He took money from me a couple of times too. Maybe just a dollar or so, but it's still a lot easier for him to make money since he's eighteen and can get a job than it is for me. I should be the one taking money from him. I'm the kid sister.