Inevitable
by Mayushii
All copyright materials are property of their respective owners.
"Inevitable"
One day, Yusuke will realize he doesn't love her anymore.
It will be a day like any other. He will drift out of unconsciousness in their shared bed, roll over, and open his eyes. When he looks, there won't be anything different about her. She'll still have her sweet face and her silky brown hair, and her shoulders will still be slim and milky where they protrude from under the blanket. She will still be Keiko, the person he fell in love with when he was a kid. And he will still be Yusuke.
But for some reason, the thought will not fill him with comfort. He will not think of how amazing it's been to stay with his childhood sweetheart for so long. To have a little apartment all their own, to have day jobs that leave them free to spend evenings together. He will realize at that very moment that he just doesn't care.
It startles him so much that he jolts back a little bit. His sharp movement wakes Keiko, and she looks at him with blearily curious eyes. Asks if something is wrong. Yusuke's head jerks in a reflexive no and his mouth stretches in a nerve-induced smile. It fools Keiko; she smiles sleepily, shifting to curl up against his chest with a lazy I love you. Yusuke mutters the required love you, too and tries to forget that he ever stopped caring.
But of course, he can't.
"Hey, give it back—!"
"Uh-huh, let's see here. Ten hours of cheap kung-fu capers and enough food for a small party… I guess I'm not invited?"
"They're for Kurama. He's kind of down, so I wanna cheer him up."
"Down? That's not like him."
"Yeah. He said he's in the middle of a breakup. I can't believe it, I didn't even know he had a girlfriend."
"Uh… Me neither… Well, if a friend's in trouble, I guess I better drop everything and go watch some crappy kung-fu movies with him."
The room is dim and the credits for Enter the Dragon are rolling across the TV screen when Yusuke wakes up. Kurama has gotten up from the couch to retrieve the DVD, and his movements jostled Yusuke from his sleep. Yusuke yawns and stretches, turning his head to one side to check on Kuwabara. The big guy is snoring on the other end of the couch, out cold like any good partier should be. Yusuke makes a bemused hmph and turns his eyes to Kurama, whose back is turned as he presses his thumb into the eject button.
"Hey," Yusuke murmurs. "Sorry bout that. We weren't supposed to pass out till after you did."
"It's quite all right, Yusuke," Kurama says softly. "It's… You two didn't have to come here. I'll be fine, really."
"Even if your best friend just dumped you," Yusuke says casually.
As expected, Kurama takes a long moment to recover from that blow. Yusuke watches shrewdly as Kurama picks up the disk, inspects it and places it back in its case.
"He didn't dump me," Kurama speaks up suddenly. "Nor did I dump him. We just…weren't in the same place anymore. Too much time apart, too much distance between us literally and figuratively." Kurama shakes his head ruefully. "We should have broken it off as soon as he left. It would have been cleaner…less painful, than this. We could have remembered a short but sweet relationship, instead of one stretched to the point of regret."
Yusuke swallows.
"Yeah… Yeah, I get what you're saying."
Kurama turns to him with a sympathetic smile. "I suppose you would." Yusuke feels his stomach flop over—is it that obvious that he's grown apart from Keiko? "Even if your relationship with him was of a different nature, Hiei was your friend, too."
"Oh!" Yusuke almost sighs in relief, but at the same time the heavy weight he's been carrying in his gut returns. "Yeah, he was, but it wasn't anything like what you had. But you'll get through this. You're a strong guy."
Kurama's eyes gentle. "Thank you, Yusuke. You're a good friend."
"Heh, you don't need to tell me that."
For the first time in ages, Yusuke feels a real connection to someone. He and Kurama share an experience that lies close to their hearts—they both fell in love with their best friends and then drifted apart from them. It's a fragile bond, but it's warmer than anything Yusuke has felt since his rebirth as a Mazoku. Yusuke grins a tiny bit, and Kurama smiles back. And that is when Yusuke really looks at him. Notices the way the blue glow of the television casts secretive shadows across Kurama's face, gives his eyes a handsome gleam and his vibrant red hair the illusion of darkness. Somewhere in Yusuke's mind, a thought drifts up that Kurama is very good-looking. And even though they've been friends for years, he's still a bit of a mystery. It piques Yusuke's interest in a way that it shouldn't.
Yusuke tries to forget that he ever started looking at Kurama in that way.
But of course, he can't.
Yusuke is hanging up his smock at work three days later when he catches sight of the calendar. It's Wednesday. He knows exactly what awaits him at home. A warm welcome by his smiling wife, a rom-com that bores him to tears and the same "treat" of Chinese food he's had every Wednesday night for years.
Before he knows what he's doing, Yusuke is pulling his phone from his coat pocket and dialing Kurama. Asking if he's still okay, saying that he'll drop in on him today. Even when Kurama insists that he's feeling much better about the whole thing, Yusuke won't take no for an answer. Kurama relents.
Yusuke calls Keiko afterward, to cancel their date. She tells him that he's sweet to take care of his friend. The guilt almost overwhelms him. He doesn't love her anymore, but it's still a shitty thing to do.
But then he hangs up, and the worst is behind him. He goes to Kurama's home, and by the time he gets there he doesn't care about Keiko. He cares about the elegant, royal-blue house and its front garden filled with rose bushes. Nothing like his boring, gray apartment building with Keiko's dorky little pudding cups turned into seed-starters for herbs and vegetables that have no hope of growing—Keiko's thumb has never been very green. One more thing Kurama has that she doesn't.
Yusuke steps up to the door, and Kurama greets him with a slightly awkward smile. It feels like they're meeting for a first date. Yusuke kind of likes the feeling. He never had that with Keiko.
An hour later, Yusuke and Kurama are both laughing as they tumble to the grass in the backyard. They're both horribly out of practice, but damn it feels good to fight again. They lay panting and pink-cheeked in the grass, and Yusuke is so elated that he wants to grab Kurama by the shoulders and kiss him. He waits a minute for the feeling to go away. But it doesn't go away. It doesn't feel as urgent anymore, but he still wants to do it.
So he does.
Kurama goes still. He doesn't resist, even when Yusuke sinks a hand in his magnificent hair and shifts to cover his tall, slim body with his own stockier one. Even when Yusuke starts working his tongue into Kurama's mouth. Yusuke is enjoying the sensations, the feel of plush lips and the taste of a sweet herbal balm, but he's disappointed that Kurama isn't getting into it. Needing a response and always ready to take risks, Yusuke slides his hand to Kurama's hip and squeezes.
That does spark a reaction, but not the one Yusuke wants.
"Yusuke—" Kurama breaks away, eyes wide and lips pink and plump from the kiss. Yusuke is about to lean in to try again, but then Kurama whispers, "Keiko."
The name sparks deep frustration in Yusuke. Kurama meant to make him feel guilty, and it pisses Yusuke off.
"What about her?" Yusuke says defiantly, and Kurama looks stung. Then he shoves Yusuke away, eyes narrow with anger and bright with hurt.
"I can't believe— After all you've—" Kurama takes a shuddering breath. "Yusuke, leave. Now."
"Look, it doesn't matter what Keiko thinks—"
"Stop it!" Kurama cries. "Yusuke, do you not understand? You love Keiko. She is your best friend, your soul mate. Dear Inari, how many times have you risked your life to save hers? And now you want to throw that away. Why? Because you had a fight? Or are you just bored?" Tears spill down Kurama's cheeks. "Do you not realize how lucky you are, to be able to keep the one you love so close to you? To be able to hold and kiss the one you love every day, to see her smile? Yusuke…"
Yusuke feels his heart twist as he realizes that Kurama is basically talking about Hiei. Christ… He hasn't even been thinking about that. Kurama has only just broken up with the guy, and Yusuke hasn't thought twice about what Kurama is going through. He's just been putting his own desires first, disregarding everyone else. Damn, but he's been an asshole.
"Kurama… I'm sorry, man," Yusuke tries. Kurama raises his hand to silence him.
"Don't. Just go home."
Yusukes leaves, unable to meet Kurama's eyes. But he doesn't go back home. Instead he goes to his mom's apartment, digs around in the boxes that still litter his old bedroom, and finds a dusty purple mirror. He wipes the dust off and opens it up.
"Hey… Is anyone there?" he asks, voice cracking.
The next day, Yusuke breaks up with Keiko properly. It sucks to see Keiko cry, but it's something he had to do. Despite what Kurama said (and really, how much of that was tainted by his own feelings for Hiei?), Yusuke really doesn't love her anymore. In any case, it's a clean break. He doesn't have to drag things out with her, waiting for infidelity to ruin it. It lets Keiko move on, find someone who will treat her right. Lets Yusuke get on with the things he wants to do, which unsurprisingly don't revolve around cooking noodles for a living.
One week later, Yusuke will be running through the demon world alongside a boy named Hikaru. The boy is Koenma's third Spirit Detective since Yusuke retired—the first two ended up dead pretty fast without Genkai's training. Yusuke has accepted a position as Hikaru's mentor, accompanying the kid on missions to help him learn the ropes. Keeping him alive, along with the steady stream of humans and demons who latch on to Hikaru the same way Kuwabara, Kurama and Hiei once latched on to Yusuke.
And maybe, just maybe, this Spirit Detective thing is something that Yusuke can love forever.