A/N WARNING: This is not a happy story. If you're looking for a happy story that makes you gush with happiness this is not the story for you.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any Inuyasha characters.

Apparently the first time I posted the story, it was unreadable. Thank you to Ember Reverie for making me aware of this fact. Let's try this again. Take 2!

I watched as you said your final goodbyes. You hugged one another and didn't want to let go. From my window I saw you stare after her long after she was gone. I saw you put your head in your pockets as you walk dejectedly, head hanging, out of sight. It killed me to see you like that. Never before have you looked so hurt.

I followed you to the small pond where you sat staring at nothing, eyes dim and lifeless. I sat down next to you. I don't know if you even noticed me there. We didn't say anything, we just sat in silence and watched the shadows get longer.

Every day, you'd go sit by the pond and stare off into space, missing the one you loved. Every day I'd go and sit next to you. At first, we sat together in silence. Eventually I got brave enough to put my head on your shoulder in comfort. Soon after you held my hand like you were holding onto a life preserver.

It's horrible to admit how torn I was at that time. I hated seeing you so torn up. I was miserable because you were miserable. But, deep down inside, a part of me was happy. I was happy to see her go. I knew you loved her, so I never told you the hurt she caused me.

I never told you about the comments she would make to me. The ones that tore me up inside and sometimes made me wonder why I had ever been put on this planet. I never told you about the times she would "accidentally" trip me as I walked to my seat, or bump into me at my locker.

A part of me wanted to tell you about my secret tormenter, but I was scared. I was scared that if I told you, you wouldn't believe me. I knew that if you decided I was lying and you stopped being my friend I wouldn't survive. So, I clung to the one hope that someday your relationship would end. It was only High School. High School loves never lasted forever right?

I was so happy when you finally started talking to me again as we sat by the pond. It was a simple thank you that came through your lips, but it meant the pieces of your broken heart were finally being mended. That there was hope for you.

I want you to know, I didn't sit by your side all that time in hopes that you would love me. I just wanted my best friend back. I needed my best friend back. With you I felt like I could conquer the world. Nothing could hold me down. You were my lifeline. I knew then that I loved you.

The first time our lips met I was in heaven. I never knew there could be so much joy in the world. The fire that lit my entire body felt like it was going to consume me in the flames. A death that I would have blissfully endure.

Life was so grand. Your golden eyes had life in them and shone with a brightness that surpassed the sun. I lived to see your smile and hear your laugh. Each moment we were together made me feel more alive than the last. I should have known it couldn't last.

I will never forget the day my sun died. We were at prom, the last dance of our high school careers. My head was laying on your shoulder, my eyes closed in contentment. Your cheek rested gently on mine as we held each other closely, our bodies swaying together gently.

I knew the moment you stopped moving that something was wrong. I lifted my head to look at you in confusion. Before I had a chance to turn to see what you were staring at I heard her calling to you. My blood froze at that moment and my heart shattered into a million pieces.

You looked at me with dancing eyes. The excitement in them at seeing your true love out weighed the pity they held for me. If I hadn't known you so well, I wouldn't have even seen that small sliver of regret for me.

I stood where you left me as you walked towards the one you still had feelings for. My feet were frozen to the ground, my legs too heavy to move. I watched as you wrapped your arms around her and brought her close to you. I stared as your mouth locked onto hers.

I was knocked out of my stupor when someone accidently bumped into me. I heard the person apologize, but I couldn't think enough to even acknowledge them. I turned around and walked out of the building. Secretly I wished you would follow me, but I knew it wouldn't happen. I was right, you didn't even notice I left.

I walked down the street towards home. I wasn't ready to go inside so I walked to our spot by the pond. I sat down in my fancy dress and cried not even caring that the dress would be ruined. The tears kept coming as I sat there with no one by my side.

I didn't see you the rest of the weekend. I went every day to the pond and watched the sun move through the sky. It seemed so far away and gloomier than before. It never seemed to be able to warm me up. My tears ran down my face in a constant stream.

When I finally saw you again on Monday you talked nonstop about her. Her family had moved again. This time she was close enough to spend the weekends with her aunt. You lived your weekdays waiting for the weekends, so you could see her again.

I tried to pull myself away from you, but you were like a drug to me. I couldn't walk away from you. Every time you talked about your latest adventure or asked for advice on what you should do next time another piece of me died.

You never seemed to notice the changes in me. Maybe I was a better actor than I thought, or maybe you were just too wrapped up in your own world. Either way, you went on living your life in your renewed bliss, without a second thought to me.

Graduation day was a bittersweet day. It was the day I knew I would finally be able to get away. It tore my soul apart knowing that I would be leaving your side, that the little friendship left that I clung to would be my lifeline no longer. Despite the torment of my soul I knew I couldn't be around you anymore. If I ever wanted to move on with my life, I had to get over you.

Mama didn't even argue with me when I told her my plans. She had watched me as I grew smaller and smaller every day. She said she couldn't watch me kill myself for someone who didn't love me anymore. She just wanted me to get better.

I had my bags packed and ready to go when I left for the graduation ceremony. I was torn between just leaving without saying anything to you or saying my goodbye, so I could get my "closure". In the end, it didn't matter. My choice was made for me. As soon as the ceremony was over she was in your arms and you were embracing each other. I turned away and climbed into the car without a backwards glance. I held myself together as mama drove me to the airport.

I changed my phone number and cancelled my email account, so you couldn't track me down. The few people who knew where I was were sworn to secrecy. I started my new life with out much support, but somehow, I still had a little faith in myself.

I'm sorry all I can give you is this letter. I'm just not strong enough. If I saw you again, I would break my resolve to stay away from you. You are my drug, and if I let you, you will destroy me. This is my goodbye, Inuyasha. With these last words I beg you to go and let me be. I hope someday you can forgive me.

Love Always,

Kagome

Inuyasha finished reading the letter that had been waiting for him. He hadn't realized how much he had truly hurt the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He had been so blinded by what he thought was love that he never saw the pain he'd inflicted. She had always been there for him, he never imagined that one day she'd be gone.

He'd spent years tracking her down. He followed every lead he got. After so many years and so many more dead ends, he'd finally found her, and she wanted nothing to do with him. There was no way he was giving up without a fight.

Inuyasha was surprised when Kagome answered the door shortly after he knocked. She motioned for him to seat himself in one of the chairs and closed the door behind him. He sat down on the couch. She sat in the chair furthest from him. Kagome stared at him waiting for him to say something.

"I'm so sorry Kagome. I never meant to hurt you like that. Looking back I was afraid of the feelings I felt for you. It was easier to be with her. The things I felt weren't as strong. Please forgive me Kagome. I miss you. Give me a second chance?"

Kagome looked at the man that she loved. The man that she still loved. It was wonderful to see him again after all this time. He still had the same beautiful silver locks that ran down his back. She took several deep breaths to gather her words before she replied. "I've already forgiven you Inuyasha. That letter you got was written many years ago as part of my healing process. I harbor no hatred towards you."

Inuyasha's eyes lit up as she talked. Kagome watched the smile on his face and shook her head sadly. "Unfortunately, I can't give you what you want. I can't be with you again. I can't live through the pain of losing you again. I'm sorry Inuyasha, I loved you then, and I love you still. It's just not enough. The trust is gone."

"I can gain your trust back Kagome! I love you!"

Kagome shook her head. "No Inuyasha. It's over. There will be no second chances between us. I'm sorry."

"Don't say that Kagome. Please," Inuyasha whispered.

"I think it would be best if you left now. Please don't contact me again." Kagome stood up and opened the door for Inuyasha.

Inuyasha walked out the door. Turning one last time to plead with her. Before he had a chance to say anything she shut the door. "Goodbye Inuyasha," she whispered right before the door clicked shut and the tears fell.

A/N I know I said I love happy endings, but I've been fighting some feelings of depression lately and I needed an outlet, thus I decided to write a story that didn't have a happy ending. I'm not going to lie here, if I made you cry that makes me happy. That was what I was aiming for. It definitely helped me let loose a few tears. Thanks for reading.