(The following story was written with less than a week to "plan" and was written in a single sitting. There was drinking. There was sleep deprevation. There was laughing at every little thing which accidentally slipped into the story.)
(This is basically a disclaimer, but I also don't give a shit who really reads this. Give it to your grandma. Give it to your little brother or sister. Print it out and mail a copy to Akira Toriyama for all I care. Just have fun!)
Dragon Ball Z: X: Xenoverse: Budokai 5: Spooky Scary Story Time: Unstoppable Zombie Apocalypse: Infinite Ultra Primal Warfare Origins Deluxe: Goku meets Morgan Freeman: Goku meets Gordon Freeman: Goku and Morgan Freeman meet Mr. T: featuring Shadow the Hedgehog: Not Featuring Dante from Devil May Cry: Attack of the Killer Minions
(Just to be clear, yes, that whole thing is the title)
It had all begun start as nromal a day. Goku was do what he always do, fight and eat, when there was a big boom. Not a small boom. A. Big. Boom. He were not sure what happen, but then he saw a strange little man. WITH NO SKIN. And he realize he a skelton.
"What are you?" Goku asked the strange little man.
"I am a skeleton," said the strange little man, "and I have a bone to pick with you." The stronge little skeleton man laugh, but does not am having lungs. "Ha ha, that was joke! I like jokes!" And then they were friends.
The skelton says his name is Sans Undertale, and he was from underground.
"Like potatoes?" Goku ask.
"Yes indeed, just like potatoes," Sans Understale said, knotting his skeleton head. "But also not indeed like potatoes, I was from a cave."
"No way!" Goku said in unbelief.
"You'd boner believe it!" Sans Undertale said with another skeleton laugh. But then he got sad. "But I am sad," Sans Understall said, sadly, "I am missing my friends now, who were also from potatoes."
"I can help you find them!" Goku said. Goku picked up the strange little boney man and put him on his back like a horsey ride, and they flew off together.
Goku used his X-Ray Vision to find other people like Sands Undertale, and soon they were were all happy and together, and Goku hung out with them and it was a great time.
What Goku did not knew was that the whole Multiverse had exploded! Now everything was everywhere! Not just Goku and Undertale friends, but everything else too! Around the werld, people were meeting awesome fun characters from their favorite games and movies but not books because books suck, except comic books, comic books are okay, and manga is a comic book, so manga too, but not poetry either, but there aren't really characters in poetry, so no poetry or books.
This mean bad things exist now too. Goku did not see the worsest evil of all to escape into world: MINIONS. Not just annie minions though, because some minions are good, but others are not. Goku did not see evil minions, because when multiverse collapsed, they escaped from Hell! These were evil minions. These were ZOMBIE MINIONS. They bite a person and now that person too is ugly minion from HELL! And then that minion bite a person and they too become ugly minion FROM HELL, until all of the world is in danger from ugly minion FROM HELL!1!
But wat aboot Goku? Where wus he? He were still having fun with new friends! When EVIL MINIONS ATTACKS!
"Oh no! Ugly minions from Hell!" Santa Undertale are say.
"It's okay, I've got this!" Goku sad, and blast them with teh kimmyhimmyhee. But…
NOTHING HAPPEN. Goku's best attack are use "key" which is life force, but zombies are dead, so life force does not am do nothing against them!
"Grr… This makes me mad!" Say Goku, who try to punch them, but Mr. Undertale am stopping him.
"No! You will be turnt to minion too!" he say. "And then I would have a bone to pick with you, too!" But he so busy stopping Goku he not see his brother Parchment Undertale be bit! He turn yello and fat and ugly and gorow overalls and googles and now he too a minion!
"Mi Hoy Minoy!" Parchment Undertale Minion say.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Saint Undertale said, and fall to his knees in sadness. "We are so totally boned." He too sad that all his other friends also get minion, but not GOku!
"We can save them!" Goku are say, and puts Comedy Sans Undertale on his back like a horse again and they fly off.
"No Goku, I do not wanting to be boner of bad news, but we are doomed," he say. And they see the see the sea of yellow that is minions below them. All world is minions now. Ocean is full of minions swimming. Arctic is minions making snowmen. China too is full of yellow people. But there is one place that are still holding strong against Minions from HELL.
"There!" Point Goku, and flies down into where he was point to: Canada.
"Why are people here not minions?" Ness Undertale ask.
"Our blood is 50% moose, eh," say a manly rugged Canadian who appear out of a bush because most of Canada is forest. "And who are you, eh?"
"I am Goku," sai Goku. "And this are my friend, Sans Underfail."
"I see, I am the president of Canada, Bullwinkle the Moose, eh," Bullwinkle the Moose say.
"But you clearly are not Moose!" Goku say.
"Perhaps, eh,." He stroke his beard. "What do you think of furries, Goku, eh?"
"What's are a furry?" he ask. Bullwinkle the Moose smile, and he grow antlers and hooves, but his clothes stay on.
"That are totally cool and not weird or creepy at all," Goku say. "Anyone who thinks so just doesn't know what they talking about or are dumb."
"I totally agree, and also think this is not creepy or weird at all," Songs Undertale say.
"I also think it is not weird or creepy at all, eh," say Bullwinkle. "And that is why I am Canada President, eh."
"What are we do about minions?" Goku ask.
"I have a plan, eh" Bullwinkle say.
"What is it?" GOku ask.
"It is secret, eh," Bullwinkle say.
"Then make it not a secret and tell me," Goku say.
"But then it would not be secret, eh," Bullwinkle say.
"But then I would know," Goku say.
"Then you will to helping us, eh?" Bullwinkle say.
"Yes."
"All of Canada is under threat of minions, eh," he say. "Even with us moose blood, we still can only survive two bites now instead of one. But there is cure to minion zombie outbreak, eh."
"Where?" Goku ask.
"We are not knowing, eh," Bullwinkle sigh. "We are smarter than the average bear, but bears are dumb, so we are not that smart too. But there are smart people in America still! We need them to fix zombies, eh."
"Then who is smart?" Goku askeded.
"There place in America where all smart people go when minions appeared from HELL, eh," Bullwinkle said. He pull map out of his back pocket and point to it. Goku then start to fly away, but stop and look at Smug Underhill.
"Here," Goku said, and give him a cell phone. "I will call you when I get there." He hold his hands and look into his deep eyes. "I… Promise I'll come back safe…" Then he fly off, not sure how to tell him how he really feels.
Goku fly to Mount Rushmore, where he see lots and lots of minions trying to climb up to where teh faces were, butt there were machine guns sticking out of president's noses and firing down on them, and they explotted into bloody messes as the bullets ripped through them, but they just kept comiing! Goku fly up into one of the noses when the bullits top, and he sees people!
"Who are you, fool?" Says big muscular man with a totally sick mohawk.
"I bet he's a minion!" Says another guy with glasses and a crowbar.
"It doesn't matter, I'll just slit his throat," says a awesome black and red hedgehog.
"Wait!" Says other other other man. He look smart, and old, and black. "He can't be a minion."
"Why not, fool?" Said mowhak?
"He would've tryed to attack us by now, would't've he?" says smart man.
"I agree, says nother smart looking black guy," says another smark looking black guy. "He also isn't doesn't seem evil."
"Either way, he's obviously not a friend, so I kill him," say hedgehog, and pulls out a giant sowrd.
"Wait! I am here from Canada!" Goku say.
"Proof it, fool," say Mohawk.
"I met their president, who is a furry, which isn't weird or creepy," Goku say.
"I agree," say smart black man number whan, "they are not weird or creepy."
"I also greet, they are not weird or creepy," say smart black man number twuo.
"I also agree, they are not weird or creepy, fool," say Mohawk.
"Hmph," says hedgehog.
"See?" Goku say.
"He's telling the truth," says them all.
"I am Morgan Freeman," Introduces black man number one. "And with me is Neil DeGrease Tyson chicken nugget, my brother Gordon Fishstick Freeman, Mr. T, and Shadow the Edgehog."
"Hmph," say Shadow. "I can introduce myself."
"Are you smart?" Goku asked.
"I am," Morgan Freeman said.
"I am," Niel DeGrasse Tyson said.
"I am arguably the smartest person here," said Gordon Freeman.
"I gots street smarts, fool," Mr. T. said, "and a PhD in fucking people up!"
"I know I'm smarter than you," Shadow said.
"Shoosh, Shadow," Morgan Freeman said. "Why?"
"Canadia need smart people to solve what happen!" Goku said.
"Then we can help," Morgan Freeman said. He and Neil DeGrasse Tyson stand up and then they fuse into one being: Morgan DeGrasse Freeson!
"Now we are smarterer!" He say. "I know exactly what happen: The multiverse collided in on itself! The whole univserse is now one!"
"No way!" Goku said. "Then how do we fix it?"
"We need to pull it apart again," Morgan DeGrasse Freeson said. "Like string cheese."
"Yes, that makes sense!" Goku say. "And how do we do that?"
"Oh no, fools! Teh minions are getting up the nose!" Mr. T. say. And then one reach up into the nose and bite him!
"No! Mr. T!" Shadow say. "You were my best friend!"
"I'm not dead yet, fool…" he rip off his shirt and reveal a lots of grenades! "I'll stop these minions and send them all back to HELL fools!" and then he pull them all pins and fall out the nose like a booger. But a minion slip past him into the nose with everyone!
"Oh no, a zombie!" Goku say.
"Well, they aren't really zombies," Morgan DeGrasse Freeson say. "Zombies are typically undead, or are associated with Hattian culture or the Caribbean. American society has just come to associate the undead with zombies, however, but the typical western standards are not universally applied to them all. The idea of introducing a pathogen or virus, and that leading to a shut down of most of the central nervous system aside from basic functions and the primal need to eat is a newer idea, and is inspired more by common disease such as rabies, than it is by the cultures from which 'zombies' first appeared. That's not even including the pervasive need in popular culture, and within fictitious worlds where zombies appear, to not call 'zombies' by what they are, choosing instead to call them things like 'walkers' or 'infected,' or other such terms, if for no other reason than to use the word 'zombie' denotes a certain connotation and suspension of disbelief which the characters may not be capable of if their situation was real, as it is supposed to be in most cases."
There was a boom and minion blood splattered the inside of the nose. Shadow let a single tear run down his face but refused to wip it away because he was tough, and tough men cry. He then shoot the minion over and over and over and more blood splatter the walls.
"I'm not willing to live without my best friend…" he say, and then HE SHOT HIMSELF!
"NO!" Goku said, he rush to him, but it were too late, he dead. He was sad, but then he think about Pots and Pans Undertale, and how he really feel, and think maybe he too do the same thing if were to happen.
"Are we too late?" Goku said, quiet and intense. "I can not fit the minions from HELL, and now more people are dead. What are we doing, even?" Morgan Degrasse Freeson put his hand on his shoulder.
"We are winning," he say, and smile a Jesus smile. "I still have one more form that can get us the answer we need." And then he fused with Gordon Freeman and became War-DeGrasse-Freeson-Mon! Who look also like a Jesus.
"Woah! War-DeGrasse-Freeson-Mon!" Goku said.
"Yes, Goku, but do not be sad, because there is easy way to fix all this."
Goku was happy, and remembered all the good times he and Snails Undertell are had. He smile. He feel good. He wnat more of that. Mostly… He want to spend the rest of his life with him.
"Goku! No! Flashbacks cause time to go even faster!" And then the world rushed by and a minion quickly climbed up the nose and bit War-DeGrasse-Freeson-Man.
"NOOO!" Goku say.
"It's… Okay… Goku…" War-DeGrasse-Freeson-Mon said. "You… Just… Have… To… Get… To… The… Restart… Button…"
"Where is it?" Goku ask. War-DeGrasse-Freeson-Mon pull a map out of his back pocket and point.
"It… Is… Here…" and then he turn yellow and into an ugly minion FROM HELL. And Goku flee!
He go where he went, and it was a secret government bunker. It was quiet. And it was empty. But then he hear something coming from behind! Minions! They followed him? So he go inside!
There are no people. And he goes to a door, but it locked, so he use his power to punch it up, and it open, and inside is another door, but still no people. And he puch the door too, and he come to a elevator, and it broke! So he forced to fly down the elevator shaft, deep into the Earth, and then he get a phone call. It were SNES Classic Undertale!
"Oh… hello, Sand Underapail," Goku saiy, nervesously.
"Goku, are you okay?" he say.
"Yes… But… There's something I want to say…" Goku said. He swallow hard. Then he hear a scream!
"Argh." It was coming from phone!
"Are okay?" Goku ask.
"No… I've… Been… Bited…," Overrated Character From Undertale said.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Goku said.
"It's… Okay…" he said. "I… Know… How… You… Feel… And… I… Feel… The… Same…" Goku blushed. "Once… You… Fix… The… World… We… Can… Be…" but then all he heard was minion noises, and he hung up. It was very sad. But then noises also coming from above! And a minion fall on him! He toss it off, but know he know he need to hurry!
Goku get to bottom of elevator shaft and squish minion who fell, then find another door and punch it open, but then punch it close too! Inside, is… a button! Goku runs to it, as minions from HELL pound on the door behind him!
"We win!" he say. And push it! But…
Nothing happens….
(This were also a multiverse where the multiverse fix button DID NOT DOES WORK!)
The End.