"I'm hungry. Lets go get some food; do you want to go out? Lets go out."

"No Sam, I don't feel like it. Maybe later, okay?"

"Natalie you've been sitting here for weeks now, it's time to do something. Get up. Jason wouldn't have wanted you to sit here, being all…depressed."

But I was depressed. Jason died just three short weeks ago, and I can't help but feel like it was my fault. We used to go out a lot, Jason and I, you know to party and things. Well this one night…THE night…well it was my idea to go to Ryder's house. We both knew nothing good ever happened with him, but I couldn't resist because all my friends would be there. Nevertheless, we both knew it was a bad idea, but Jason always protected me from harms way. With his light blue eyes that you could swim in, and a smile that makes you weak in the knees, he was just perfect. Wow, "was" is difficult to write, because he still is and I can't believe he's gone.

When we got to Ryder's house we went to find him, and all of our close friends. And by the end of the night we both ended up wasted. Next thing I know Ryder invited me to his room, I was shit drunk but I still knew it was wrong. I told him no but he went to kiss me. I deflected but apparently Jason thought we were doing "things". I ran after him to try and explain, but he said he didn't want to hear it. My friend Vivian was even trying to help me explain but he wouldn't hear it. He was an angry drunk. He grabbed my car keys and stormed out of the house, and I didn't stop him. Why didn't I stop him? It turns out he thought 'drive' was 'reverse' and floored it into Ryder's house. His funeral was three days later and I've been sitting on this yellow floral couch with seashells that look like cochleas for weeks now. It should have been me that crashed that night, not Jason. I loved him, and if it weren't for my stupid irrationalism he would be alive and we would be happy together. Now I'm picking at the gray fuzz sitting next to me on the pillow.

"You know it is not your fault that Jason decided to drink and drive! Stop blaming yourself Nat."

"Not my fault!? I practically handed him the keys and said 'go for it!' If it weren't for Ryder and that fucking party he'd still be alive! How can it not be my fault!?"

My eyes began to fill with tears at the thought of it. I'm such an idiot.

"I'm never drinking again Sam, and you better not either!"

"Okay…shhh…I promise." She said while giving me a hug.

I don't know what I would do without Sam right now. She's my little sister and I sometimes feel like she's ten years older than I am. She's 15 with light brown hair, and crystal blue eyes. Sam definitely got our moms looks. I swear she could be a model. I turn 18 in a month, and don't know what I'm going to do when I have to move out and be without my sister and best friend. I have blue eyes and mahogany brown hair, I wear glasses that look like SpongeBob SquarePants', at least I think they do. I'm not saying I'm ugly it's just that Sam has always just been prettier.

"Do you hear a car? Is someone here?" I asked.

"No I think it's just the mailman, Taylor. I'll Bee Are Bee."

No Johnny you can't die! I feel for you Marissa, I know what you're going through. Johnny was your friend and I know you loved him and he fell off a cliff. Marissa and I are rather similar. Man Ryan's cute, not as cute as Seth though.

Stop crying Natalie.

Stop.

Stop.

"Hey is everything okay, why are you crying now?"

"I was watching The O.C. and Johnny died. He shouldn't have died!"

"This was aired like a year ago Natalie."

"I know but I just understand what Marissa is going through right now!"

"You're a little pathetic right now, you do realize that right?"

"Yep…"

"Well get up, and pack your bags we're going to LA."

"What are you talking about?"

She handed me an envelope. She had already opened it.

"Jonas? I forgot I entered this…. it was for Jason's birthday…. I can't go, it wouldn't be right…"

"WHAT!? You have to go. Jason would have had it no other way, and you know that! He would just want you to be happy and have fun."

"Maybe…. I could get out of this house. But you HAVE to come with me, or else I won't go."

"Pfft don't have to ask me twice. Nick is so handsome. Oh man, I'm going to go pack! We leave in two days! What should I wear?"

"You do know they sing right? Haha besides Joe's cuter."

"Well obviously they're incredible musicians. But Joe cuter than Nick? Dream on dude. Hey, you laughed. See? This will be good for you I promise."

"Maybe you're right. And wear your green dress, it makes your boobs look amazing."

That was it. Two days later we were on a flight headed for LAX. As crazy as it sounds I was more excited about getting my mind off of Jason than I was about seeing the Jonas Brothers. And that was honestly true until I saw the limo driver with a sign that said "Roseberry."