Author's Notes: I own nothing here (unfortunately). BTR are properties of Nick and themselves. Iphones are property of Apple. Blahblahblah, don't sue me.

The buzzing of his phone against his bed woke James Diamond up from his restless slumber.

Letting out a groan, he lifted his head from where he lay on his stomach, rubbing his face. It was pitch black in his room, his heavy curtains blocking out any light from the window, meaning it was still the middle of the night. His alarm clock showed "2:08" am, proving him right.

Flopping over onto his back, he grabbed his iPhone from where it lay face down on the mattress next to his pillow. He hit "answer" without bothering to check who was calling, putting the smartphone to his ear and letting out a groggy "hello?"

"James?"

The female voice on the other end of the line cause his eyes to shoot wide open. Katie Knight, the little sister of his ex-boyfriend, was calling him. And not only that, she shouldn't upset. Katie never gets upset.

He sat up, his comforter falling down onto his lap. "Katie? What's wrong? What's going on?"

"Can you come pick me up?"

His brow furrowed as confusion took over. He wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed on the best of days, but having just woke up, he was even slower than usual. "Pick you up?"

"Yeah, ya know, get in your car, drive her, let me get in it, drive me to my house. Pick me up." She sniffed at the end, making James immediately forget about the sarcastic attitude she pulled while describing what "pick you up" meant. It wasn't that he didn't know, he just had no idea why or where from or what the hell was going on that she needed a ride at two in the morning.

"Where are you?"

She gave an address, which he repeated, partially so he'd remember, then told him to hurry up before ending the call without another word.

He didn't hesitate, didn't care about the time or that he'd been woken up from his beauty sleep. He just got outta bed, grabbed the first pair of pants—some grey sweats in this case-he could find and slipped them up over his boxers. Next was a random sleeveless t-shirt, followed by sneakers he slipped on without bothering with socks. Final step was to grab his keys and iPhone before finally leaving.

The address Katie had given him was a house a few streets away from her own. A big one, made of brick, with a dark green door, gold numbers on it. James parked alongside the road, killing the engine before getting out and walking up to the front door. Standing on the front step, he wasn't sure if he should knock or ring the bell or what. After all, it was now 2:30. The people inside were probably asleep. He didn't wanna be rude and wake anyone else up, even if he did need to pick up the 11 year old.

But the door opened anyway, revealing a middle-aged blonde woman in a fluffy pink bathrobe. Confusion took over for a brief moment, before James plastered a smile on his face. "Hi."

"Katie's brother?" she asked, looking tired as hell. Which he figured she was, being up at that late-slash-early hour.

He hid his puzzlement at being called her brother, figuring there was a reason behind the young girl lying. "Yup. She here?"

The elder woman opened the door more, allowing James to peer inside. Sitting at the bottom of the stairs was Katie, arms wrapped around her torso, backpack on, sleeping bag at her feet. Ah, slumber party gone wrong. This should be an interesting story.

But considering the sad look on her face, the way her brown eyes were shiny, cheeks tear-stained, and nose red, he wasn't sure if he wanted to listen or go upstairs and yell at whoever had hurt the young female. He wasn't technically her brother, not by blood anyway, but he'd always felt overprotective of the young girl, even though she never really needed it. She was mature beyond her years, able to stand up for herself and bring down people twice her size. Like himself and his friends really. He lost count of the number of times she'd grabbed them by the ears and literally dragged them around.

Not that he could see that girl at the moment. The brunette sitting at the bottom of those stairs wasn't Katie, wasn't that sarcastic, smart alecky, troublemaking girl he'd known. And he wanted to punch something, or someone for it.

"Hey, kiddo," he gave her a small smile, using the nickname she hated.

But she didn't scold him, didn't roll her eyes, didn't call him an idiot or a dummy or any other g-rated insult she'd usually hurl at him. She just stood up, sniffing once more as she grabbed her sleeping bag. Walking over, she stopped by the elder female, thanking her for letting her come over, then left the house.

James watched the younger girl head to his car before turning back to the mom, questioning look on his face, one eyebrow raised. "What happened?"

The blonde female sighed, shrugging her shoulders, arms folded over her chest. "I honestly don't know. One minute they're all having fun, keeping me awake, the next I hear that one crying in the hallway. I asked if she was okay and she just said she wanted to call her brother and go home."

The teenage boy nodded, hoping to get some info outta Katie. He apologized to the mom for the trouble, thanking her for letting Katie stay for the short amount of time she was there before turning and heading for his car. The young girl was already in there, sitting in the passenger seat with the belt on, arms folded around her once again. She wasn't sniffing anymore, but she definitely seemed more down than usual.

James started the engine up, pulling away from the curb and onto the main part of the road. They remained in silence for a few moments before he finally broke it. "Wanna tell me what happened?"

"No." Her answer was short and curt, face staring straight ahead out the front windshield.

"Ya know, as your big brother-" he smirked a little, watching her out the corner of his eyes "-I think you owe me an explanation as to why you called me at two am to come pick you up."

"Mom's outta town and I didn't feel like bugging Ke—my actual brother."

James felt a tightness in his chest at even the inference of the other male's name. Clearing his throat and hoping the lump there would disappear, he chose to ignore the feeling and focus solely on the small girl in his passenger seat. She needed his help more than he did.

"Besides-" she continued," You've been like a brother to me anyway, so it wasn't that big a lie."

He nodded, having thought the same thing earlier. "Why'd you need to be picked up in the first place?"

She let out a heavy sigh, running a hand through loosely curled brown hair. "I should've known something like this would happen. I don't get along with kids my age."

James nodded some more, clicking on his indicator to make a right. "What happened exactly?"

"They're all bitches."

"Language, Katie."

"Oh, you've said worse."

"True, but as your big brother, I should scold you on saying such words."

"I'm gonna take back the big brother thing in a minute."

"You're stalling by the way. Using distraction techniques in order to not tell me what you need to tell me." He pulled up to a stop at a four-way intersection, turning his head to give her a serious look. "Spill."

"They just kept making fun of me, calling me names like freak and weirdo because I prefer hanging out by myself and like 'Castle Smashers' and playing the stock market. Just because I don't like painting my nails or wearing make-up or any of that other girly crap, they felt the need to pick on me the entire night. I just had enough of it."

Her voice got low on the last sentence and James turned his head to see her staring down at her lap, playing with her fingers. She looked defeated. Katie Knight was never defeated.

Reaching over, he placed a hand on her shoulder, rubbing it in a comforting way. "Look, fuck what other people think and just do what you want, do what makes you happy. Seriously. Who gives a shit? Like you said, they're all bitches anyway." He came up to another crossroads, slowing to a stop before turning his head to face her. "Those girls aren't gonna amount to anything. They'll end up as some housewife of a loser plumber or teacher or some shit like that, while you're living in your huge mansion after making your first million at age 21 after playing the stock market, laughing as you count all your money and playing 'Castle Smashers' on your huge ass TV."

A small smile formed on her face at his words, clearly seeming cheered up. "Now who's the one that's swearing."

James let out a small laugh. "Whatever. You know I'm right." Removing his hand from her shoulder, he turned to face out the front windshield once again and go back to driving, heading straight through the intersection.

They were silent once again before Katie broke it this time. "Thanks. For picking me up, for saying what you did. It means a lot."

He smiled at her. "What else are big brothers for?"

A small grin of her own formed as James finally turned onto her street. "Speaking of, why don't you take your own advice?"

His earlier confusion came back, his brow furrowing as he tried to focus on the road. "What are you talking about?"

"The fuck what everyone thinks and do what you want speech you just gave me. It applies to you, too."

James' head wavered back and forth between the road and her, seeing where he was going and the grown-up expectant look on her face, a look that said she knew a lot more than what she let on. Which just made him even more confused.

"Yeah, I have no clue what you're talking about, Katie."

"About you and my brother. I know you tried to keep things hidden and that no one was supposed to know you two were dating or whatever, but you both suck at hiding that sorta stuff. And you definitely suck at hiding your break-up."

James' face fell before he could stop it, putting on a well-practiced emotionless mask he'd used countless times as the son of Brooke Diamond. "We didn't break up. And we didn't date either."

"Bull," she replied flatly, tone making it clear she wasn't putting up with any of his shit. "You two were happy as hell and had these li'l smiles you exchanged when you thought no one was looking. And you were sitting closer, spending more time with just the two of you, looking yourselves in Kendall's room—which is right next to mine by the way and I'm pretty sure I'm now scarred for life because of you two."

He felt his face heat up and he was sure he was sporting some sorta blush, which he ignored. He knew that if he said anything about his red cheeks or acknowledge her words in any way, it would be pretty much admitting guilt. And like she'd said, he and...The Male Who Shall Not Be Named had tried to keep things on the downlow, but there was a reasoning behind it. A reasoning that had led to their break-up.

Katie kept going, not saying anything about James' reaction—or lack thereof. "And now, you look like hell with bags under your eyes and I'm pretty sure you didn't bother brushing your hair before you picked me up, which we both know isn't like you. And you're also out in public in sweatpants, another thing that's highly unlike you. And Kendall isn't any better. He hasn't been sleeping, despite the fact that he spends all day in bed. He's barely eating, barely doing anything. He wouldn't even watch hockey with me the other day."

The tightness returned to James' chest, that lump back in his throat as the back of his eyes burned. His ex not being interested in hockey was fucking huge, just like him not brushing his hair or leaving the house in sweats. He just genuinely didn't give a shit about how he looked anymore, didn't think it mattered, not now that he was missing such a huge piece of him. Which was probably why his ex wasn't caring about hockey anymore.

God, he felt like a huge piece of shit. But he knew his reasons for ending things, knew why they couldn't be together anymore. And yeah, that didn't make anything easier, but it was the way it had to be. He knew it, and so did his ex. At least he was sure his ex did.

James pulled into the Knight driveway, putting his car in park and waiting for the younger female to unbuckle her belt and get out. Which she didn't do. She just turned in her seat to face the teenager male, face all business.

"Why'd you break up?"

He smeared a hand over his face, not really wanting to get into it with her, or with anyone for that matter. Rehashing your break-up was never fun, especially when you were the dumper and that talking about it meant reliving the look on the face of the guy you love as you broke not only your relationship, but his heart. He was feeling shitty enough as it was. He didn't wanna go there again, not when he'd been spending the past week avoiding it.

"It's complicated," was his simple response as he put his hands back on top of the steering wheel, hoping like hell it was enough for her to just drop it.

But, of course, it wasn't. "Bull. Again. You still love each other, which is why you're both so depressed about this, and that should be enough for you to just say 'fuck what anyone thinks' and be together." With that, she unbuckled her seat belt and opened the door.

James let what she said sink in for a long moment before realization hit him. Turning his head, he saw she was now out the car, the back door open as she reached inside for her stuff. He took off his own seat belt and got out, hands on the roof of his car as he stared over it at her."Wait, did you call me just so you could lecture me about your brother?"

"I'd be lying if I said that wasn't part of it," she answered honestly, slinging her backpack strap over her shoulder. "But I honestly just wanted you to pick me up. I knew you'd be able to say the right stuff to make me feel better." She shrugged one shoulder as she held her sleeping bag against her, arms wrapped around it, like she was hugging the rolled up bundle.

He nodded, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips. As shitty as he felt about what he did to the elder Knight child, he was glad to have helped the younger one.

Katie shut the car door, rounding the back of the vehicle and stopping in front of James. Without hesitation, she dropped her sleeping bag and wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him tight. His arms automatically went around her, rubbing her back as he leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

"I love you, James," she told him, voice partially muffled against his tee.

"Love you, too, Katie."

She pulled back, looking up at him. "You're still an idiot."

"Noted."

"Katie?"

The all-too-familiar male voice that came from behind caused James' entire body to tense up, his fingers gripping onto Katie's t-shirt, that lump in his throat and the tightening in his chest returning. God, he still sounded so amazing, despite the sleepiness and the confusion and the sadness in his voice. And James wanted nothing more than to walk over there, wrap his arms around the other male and make everything better.

But he didn't. He stayed put, releasing his grip on Katie's shirt as she pulled away. She looked up at him, giving him one last smile before picking up her sleeping bag and turning to the other male. "Hey, big brother."

"Baby sister," he still sounded confused. "What's going on?"

"Sleepover sucked so I had James take me home," she stated as she walked towards the front door. "And I'm really tired so I'm just gonna go to bed. Night, big brother. Night, James!"

"Night, Katie!" he called back, not bothering to turn. He knew if he did, he'd see... ihim/i. So instead, he simply cleared his throat and smoothed his hand over the top of his head, turning towards the door. But as soon as his hand touched the top of it, his name was called out.

His body tensed again, his heart pounding, stomach doing flips at the sound of his name on ihis/i lips. It brought him back to all the times he'd heard it before, much happier times, when life had seemed perfect and their future flawless.

Little did he know...

Taking a deep breath to steel his nerves, he slowly turned, coming face to face with the one guy he'd been avoiding. Kendall Knight. And, as always, he took James' breath away, even in just plaid boxers and a white tee.

But Katie had been right. Her older brother looked rough, bags under his green eyes, dirty blond hair unkempt and slightly greasy. The guy clearly hadn't seen a shower in a few days.

And it was all because of James.

Shit.

The brunet male cleared his throat, trying to pull up the corner of his lips in an effort to seem light-hearted, to seem like everything was okay, when in reality, he was falling apart inside. "Hey, Kendall."

"What happened with my sister?"

He rubbed his hand over the top of his head, smoothing his shaggy hair, the strands a little rougher than they had been in the past. Clearly Kendall wasn't the only one who'd been slacking in the personal hygiene department. "She already told you. The sleepover sucked." He dropped his hand, hooking both thumbs in the waistband of his sweats.

Kendall's arms folded over his chest, face serious, brow furrowed. "And she called iyou/i?"

James simply shrugged, knowing it wasn't really his place to say anything. It was Katie's explanation to give. And, if he were completely honest with himself, he didn't wanna talk to Kendall. It hurt too much.

"She wanted us to talk, didn't she?" The blond's voice was low, like he didn't wanna have this conversation either, but was pushing through it. "She's been bugging me to call you, but I kept telling her no, that she wouldn't understand. She just kept calling me an idiot."

"She called me an idiot, too."

"Well, maybe we are. Maybe this whole thing is stupid."

"Kendall." The name he'd been avoiding for a week came out on a sigh, his eyes closing in pain. The conversation was heading down a road he didn't wanna go and apparently this car had no brakes on it, forcing them to keep going. All he could do was hold on for the ride and hope the crash didn't leave him too badly injured.

"I mean it, James." The sounds of footsteps reached the brunet's ears and he knew the blond was walking over. But instead of getting in the car and driving off like he knew he should, he just opened his eyes and watched as the other male stopped right in front of him. "This whole thing is really fucking stupid. Who cares what anyone else thinks?"

"Yeah, easy for you to say. I bet if you were to call your mom up right now and come out, the only thing she'd care about is that you woke her up in the middle of the night. And you have Katie loving and supporting you, too."

"She loves and supports you, too, man. And so does my mom."

"Well, mine doesn't," James reminded him. "And unfortunately for me, I'm stuck living under her roof and abiding by her rules, which means no boyfriend."

"James." Kendall's voice was soft, sympathetic, full of a million emotions the brunet didn't wanna deal with as the blond reached out and took the other male's hand in his.

James pulled it back, shaking his head. "Don't, Kendall. Just don't. It's better this way."

Green eyes filled with tears, the younger male clearly trying to hold them back as he bit his bottom lip and shook his head. "It's not better. It was better the way it was before."

"Yeah, hiding our relationship, being paranoid that someone would discover that we were more than friends and shit would get back to my mom."

"At least we were still talking, at least we still had each other. Now? We have nothing." Kendall's eyes met James', searching for something he didn't seem to find. "But maybe you're right. Maybe it is better this way. Because at least this way, I don't have a chickenshit for a boyfriend. I love you, James, loved you enough to risk everything to be with you. Just sucks you don't feel the same way."

With that, Kendall turned and headed back inside the house, ending the conversation.

James stood there for a long moment before turning and getting in his car. The engine had been sitting idling the entire time, so it was easy for him to just put it in drive and head back to his mom's house.

He didn't think the entire drive home, just kept hearing Kendall's words repeating in his head the whole time. And when he found himself parked in the driveway, it was somewhat of a shock. But he was thankful, as the tears he was trying so hard to hold back started falling freely.

Kendall was right. James was a chickenshit. And he sure as fuck didn't deserve someone as great as Kendall. Another reason why he couldn't be with the other male.

But he had definitely been wrong about James not loving him, because the brunet knew he'd do anything for the blond, whether it was as extreme as taking his own life, or as simple as picking up his little sister and trying to cheer her up. Because that's what love was, giving without asking for anything in return, selfless acts that you did without hesitation and without thinking about what it would cost you.

Mind made up, he killed the engine of his car and got out, ready to have a discussion he'd been trying to avoid for months. As much as he was about to lose with it, losing Kendall was worse.