Stefen stirred restlessly in his bed, hearing water trickle somewhere distant in the caverns. I can't sleep, he thought sourly, throwing off his blankets to pace around the room. Then came the other, inevitable thought, constant to every waking hour:
I want Van.
He sat down on his bed, frustrated, pulling his hair with both hands.
I need Van.
Plop. The trickle continued, as if the Gods themselves were conspiring to drive him slowly mad. He stood up again and left his room to wander the caverns. Unwittingly, his feet led him to Yfandes' sleeping chamber. Soft, thick moss indigenous to this Northern part of Valdemar covered the floor.
Kneeling, he pressed his head gently to her neck and began to weep quietly into the white silk of her mane. She opened one blue eye full of sympathy. Nuzzling him with her soft nose, she whickered and curled around him.
Hours later, he woke to Vanyel staring down at him with the first hint of a smile he'd worn in—weeks. Before Rendan and his ilk.
"I've never seen Yfandes let anyone else sleep with her," Vanyel mused. Pausing, he continued, "Although, I've never known anyone else to want to sleep with her."
Stefen laughed weakly and rubbed red eyes to look up at the Herald. I must look a mess, he thought, plucking bits of moss out of his hair.
"Care to join me for breakfast?" he asked hopefully.
Vanyel's face closed and the faint smile fled. "Actually, Stefen, I thought I'd spend some time alone with 'Fandes."
"All right. Well—if you change your mind…" he reached out to touch Vanyel's hand and stopped when the Herald flinched involuntarily. Sighing inaudibly, he turned to leave.
Vanyel made a strangled noise behind him. Slowly, Stefen turned.
His face wore a pained expression. "I'm sorry, Stef.—I can't help it, I'm twisted, inside—" breaking off, he buried his face in his hands.
"I know, Van. I understand that you need space," Stefen said, favoring him with a sweet smile. "I love you still, no matter what. I'm always here for you."
Vanyel leaned into Yfandes, blinking back tears, "Thank you, ashke."
The word sent shivers down Stefen's spine; Vanyel hadn't called him that since the bandits. Progress, he thought. Enough for today.