Tony Stark is a jerk.
Okay, well, mayyyybe Peter could have avoided crashing through that shed if he'd tried a little bit harder. And that fence. And that treehouse. Maybe breaking that patio furniture set could've been avoided, too. But what kind of villain decides to detour all the way out to a residential neighborhood, anyways?
Tony told Peter that he needed to learn when a situation goes out of hand, and when to call for backup. Also, damage control. Which is super hypocritical, because Tony has probably cumulatively destroyed, like, half of New York by now-
But yeah, basically, Tony grounded him.
"What?" Peter exclaimed.
"You heard me."
Peter's hands moved from their position crossed over his chest in order to flail out dramatically, his bewildered expression directed at Tony from across the room, where the latter didn't even look up from the Iron Man boot he was tinkering with as he made his announcement.
"But, you- you can't ground me! We're not even related!"
"Seems like you might be late to the party, kid. Let me fill you in: I'm Tony Stark. I can do whatever I want. So, grounded."
A look of panic flashed across Peter's face. "Y-you're not gonna take the suit away again, are you? Because I-"
"Woah, relax!" Tony put up his hands in a placating gesture. "We've moved past that. Lesson learned, check that box off the superhero training list. No, this is a bit more traditional. You're confined to home and school for the next two weeks, with Spider-Man activities restricted to two nights weekly plus weekends. I'm not taking the suit away, but I WILL be putting a temporary child lock on that will prevent you using the suit's capabilities outside of a predetermined range, and a curfew of... let's say, 10 PM."
"But that's so unfair! You can't do that!"
"Suck it up, buttercup. I just did."
When Peter got home, steamed up and only a little bit sulking, he was greeted with one of May's patented disapproving looks. Turns out, not only had Tony called her and told her what happened, but she had actually agreed with him and upheld his grounding!
"Seriously, Peter? Property damage?" May's hands were on her hips. This was serious.
"It's not my fault those robots decided that they wanted to move to suburbia!"
"No, but I know you. You're more careful than that!"
Peter fumbled for his next words. "So, so what, you're just gonna let some random guy exert parental authority over me?"
"He's not 'some random guy', Pete, he's Tony Stark. And yes, I am. I let the school give you detention when you do something wrong, don't I? Well, think of this as superhero detention. Tony's the closest thing you have to authority on that side of your life, and if he thinks it's necessary, then I trust him."
"But I have plans tonight! Ned and MJ and I are supposed to go out!"
"Well, not anymore, you aren't," May replied. Her phone buzzed, and she took a moment to shoot off a text before continuing. "Guess you'll have to let them know that your plans have changed."
"Uggggh!" Peter groaned as he flopped onto his bed face-first.
May had left shortly after their argument, stating that while he no longer had plans tonight, she did, and to be good while she was gone. Like he could do anything else. This was torture.
Maybe he was overreacting about the whole thing. But there was a part of him that was thrilled with the idea of being a normal, rebellious teenager. Besides, the idea of adults feeling like they can get away with being hypocritical just because they're adults was always something that had bothered him, and that had only intensified since becoming a superhero.
Peter's phone suddenly started buzzing, distracting him from his brooding thoughts. He lifted his head off his pillow to unlock his phone and squint at the screen.
(18:46) Iron Ass: Hey kid
(18:46) Iron Ass: Sorry not sorry about the house arrest
(18:47) Iron Ass: But this is for your own good
Peter grip tightened. He was really considering throwing his phone at the wall.
(18:47) Iron Ass: Don't even try it
(18:48) Iron Ass: You should be feeling lucky that I let you keep your phone
(18:48) Iron Ass: And don't try sneaking out or anything. I'll know
Peter's head dropped onto his pillow once more. This time, the sound that came out of his mouth might have been a bit closer to a scream. Maybe.
He managed about ten minutes of just lying there until becoming too bored to continue. Scanning his room for something to do, Peter's eye caught on his backpack. He walked over to where it lay next to his desk, pulling out his math book and flipping it open to the page they had been assigned for homework. He skimmed over it, only to sigh and close the book with a huff. Right. He and Ned had finished in study hall that morning, in preparation for their night out. Which was no longer on.
He then decided to pace around his room. Which was fine, until his feet got tangled up in a sweater and he nearly tripped. So, he decided to clean his room. Which didn't take very long, because he had gotten into the habit of keeping it pretty clean back when he was still hiding his identity from May, and had to keep things off the ground so as to not make any unnecessary noise when sneaking in at incredibly late hours.
It was after all of that that he had moved on to his next favorite activity: hanging upside down from the ceiling, when his phone buzzed again. It startled him so much that he nearly dropped onto the floor.
"Shut uppp, Tony," Peter groaned.
The phone buzzed again. He finally brought it up to his face, only to see that he had two texts from… May?
Peter unlocked his phone. May's first text was a photo of herself with Ned and MJ at laser tag. The laser tag date that they had originally planned with Peter. MJ had definitely gone full out on this adventure, because not only was she wearing full camouflage underneath her vest, but it seems that she had also brought face paint, because the three of them had dark stripes painted under their eyes. They all grinned at the camera, MJ with her index and pinkie finger held up in a 'rock on' gesture on the hand not holding her gun, a toned down version of the middle finger Peter knew that she would have had up had May not been there.
"Hangin w/ your friends since u can't" the second text said.
Peter tried to remain stoic, but couldn't help the small snort that escaped his lips. As if triggered, his phone started lighting up with messages.
(19:31) Chair-Man: Why didn't you tell me your aunt was so good at laser tag?
(19:31) Chair-Man: Like, even the little kids are scared of her. And they usually go after anyone.
(19:35) Chair-Man: For a pacifist, MJ sure has good aim
(19:36) Chair-Man: I've never heard her scream so loud before. Was that supposed to be a battle cry?
(19:39) Chair-Man: OH GOD THEY'VE TEAMED UP ON ME
(19:41) Chair-Man: I found somewhere to hide I think I'm safe
(19:42) Chair-Man: NOT SAFE NOT SAFE
(19:43) Chair-Man: PETER HEL
(19:45) Chair-Man: Sup, loser.
(19:45) Chair-Man: Ned's dead now
(19:45) Chair-Man: He should know better than to text in the middle of a battle
(19:46) Chair-Man: Only the strong will survive
(19:46) Chair-Man: He's not getting this back until he learns from his mistakes
(19:46) Chair-Man: Later
Peter laughed. His friends were awesome. Maybe exile wouldn't be so bad after all.