Chapter 1: Guilt
"Bella, there's something I need to tell you. I'm just not sure how." Jacob's voice broke the silence.
Alice and Rosalie had thrown me a Congratulations-Charlie-Accepted party. Telling Charlie about mine and Edward's engagement was not easy. He was very angry, but then realized that we loved each other and we would learn from our own mistakes if anything went wrong. Surprisingly, Charlie attempted to talk with Edward. Edward said it was a bit awkward.
Just about everyone in Forks came to celebrate the good news. Chief Swan's daughter is marrying Dr. Cullen's son. Why wouldn't they come? This was the most popular gossip in town. Throughout the whole party I was literally on the edge of my seat. Charlie had invited the Blacks and the Cullens. Surprisingly, Jacob, Quil, Embry, and Billy actually showed up. I figured the boys showed up for an ego boost or something. Proving they were the better…species by socializing with everyone.
The party lasted about five or six long hours. The playoffs were on and people were too lazy to go to their own house to watch them.
Luckily, nothing happened between Edward and Jacob. Besides their first hello and rather "intense" handshake, they practically ignored each others existence.
When the party ended, I wanted to spend a little more time with Jacob. Edward reluctantly agreed. He seemed to understand that I had chosen him and Jacob's patience was getting better. Not to mention, it would be a very long while before I got to see him again. If I got to see him at all.
So we went up to my room and talked. We talked about things in La Push and how it felt being a high school graduate. We talked about other things as well then it fell silent. Suddenly Jacob spoke again.
"Jacob, we've been through this! I'm marrying him for goodness sake!" Did he actually think I would change my mind at this point?
"I know. But I just want this one last change to prove myself. I know you're ready for him to kill you, but you can at least pretend to listen to what I have to say…Just one more thing." Apparently so.
"Fine,
Jacob. Make it Quick!" I made my voice as icy and sharp as I could.
This conversation has taken place before. This was the last time! It
had to stop!
"Bella, I love you! I don't understand why I
haven't imprinted on you, but I've tried. The moment I saw you at
the bonfire, I had to have you. You're beautiful, smart, brilliant,
and so much worthier than anyone I've ever met. And now…now
you're…" By this point, I could swear I saw a single tear
glisten off his russet cheek.
"You're giving your life to a VAMPIRE!! He left you Bella, he was mean to you! He's going to end your life so you can spend the rest of eternity killing innocent things. He's a monster, Bella! He'll make you a monster, too. He could leave you again. Separating you, no ripping you away from everyone and everything you've ever known. And me! I stuck with you, I showed you my love, I protected you. What the hell do I get?! How do you know he even loves you?...Stay with me, please!" Jacob was practically bawling. For once, I didn't want to kill him for bringing it up. At first I was irritated beyond belief. Now, well I actually thought about what he said. Normally I would counter attack him, but he had never said those exact words before. I couldn't think straight. Next thing I knew, I felt a stream of hot liquid run down my cheek, down to my chin, and fall to my lap.
"Jake, I…I…we're…How could you do this?!" He looked at me stunned and speechless.
"I do love you, I love him too! We've gone through this before. I AM NOT A MONSTER! Nor will I ever be. Edward won't let me get like that. How could…why would you-"The betrayal tears once again made their presence. I looked over at a still crying Jacob Black.
"Oh, Jacob. I'm so sorry!" What was I doing? Stop Bella, stop this instant!
Before I could finish my train of though, I felt my hands in soft shaggy hair and warm lips on mine.