Han Solo was horrible at buying gifts.
On his and Leia's first anniversary, he had thought purchase of a metal lingerie set would bring both a smile and a bit of mischief to Leia's often serious visage—not to mention give Han himself quite an eyeful. Unfortunately, Han had forgotten about the nasty incident with Jabba the Hutt five years prior. It simply wasn't fair—Lando had gotten to see her in the metal bikini, but Han had been blind throughout entire episode! Leia had worn it once, just to appease Han, but the outfit had found its way to a junk bin in one of Coruscant's seedier neighborhoods.
The year after that, Han was certain he had found a winner. Leia had been complaining that she getting out of shape from sitting through all the Council meetings, and Luke had been pestering her to work on her physical abilities for her Jedi training. So Han had searched far and wide for a exercise simulator that would do anything from basic stretches to the crazy workouts Luke set for himself. Unfortunately, he hadn't realized that Leia was waiting until the evening of their anniversary to surprise him with the news that she was pregnant with twins. After he presented her with the gift, she stared at the contraption, tears welling up in her eyes. Then the very hormonal Leia threatened Han with her lightsaber, and informed Han he was sleeping on the couch that night, since he insisted on implying she was fat. The only reason Han still possessed ten toes was because Luke had rushed over to their apartment at four in the morning having sensed Leia was about to do something she would regret eight months later when she needed a husband to help carry two infants about.
Since then, Han had enlisted the aid of his best human friend and brother-in-law in the dangerous but rewarding task of choosing gifts for his wife. Perhaps Luke had a sixth sense for what Leia would like due to their twin-bond or the Force—or maybe Luke was just much better at choosing gifts than Han was. Whatever it was, Leia had not ordered him to sleep on the sofa on their anniversary, nor had she threatened to remove any more body parts. Han had always been appreciative of Luke's help, and Luke had always been gracious enough to give it.
Until this year.
Han didn't know what had gotten into the kid. Han knew that as far as brother-in-laws went, there was probably no one in the galaxy that had a Jedi Master as one. But other than knowing that if he were to ever hurt Leia beyond the normal martial spat he would find himself without something much more crucial than his toes, Han felt that he was very fortunate to have Luke as a brother-in-law. Luke never pried into their private affairs, and hadn't even given Han a mock dirty look after finding out that Leia was pregnant. But Luke's behavior now was….highly irregular.
Han would admit that Luke had been acting a little strangely even before he had dashed off to the edge of the Unknown Regions to rescue Mara Jade. But that was just, as Han liked to call them, one of those "crazy Jedi things". When he and Mara returned, they'd handed Leia a copy of the Caamas documents, and had said very little about their adventures. And ever since then, Luke had been strangely absent from his and Leia's lives.
His absence was not necessarily strange. He usually spent most of his time at the Jedi Academy on Yavin IV. It was more his presence on Coruscant, together with his absence from their lives that was strange. Leia would give him a call on his comlink and invite him over for dinner, only to be told that he was busy that evening. Leia had simply been concerned at first, but was now nearing the state of manic; she had been up at all hours of the night trying to get something through their Force-bond. But Luke seemed to have shut her out of everything but the most basic emotions.
Two days later, Han had called him to give his annual plea for help. They went through it every year; Luke would half-jokingly attempt to convince Han that he should try to buy his own wife a gift, instead of using her twin brother as a crutch. They would banter back and forth for fifteen minutes or so, and then Luke would shake his head and tell Han he would be happy too. But this year, Luke decided that Han should go at it alone.
"Kid, you know what's happened every time I've bought her a gift on my own. She tried to cut off my toes with one of those weapons you crazy Jedi use!"
"Han, I know you've made mistakes in the past, but if you talk to her and admit you're wrong, she'll forgive you. Even the angriest, bitterest woman will. And Leia's quite calm compared to some," Luke said soothingly. Han stared at him.
"Kid."
"Yes, Han?"
"What in all the slime on Nal Hutta are you talking about? She's not angry or bitter with me. She's my wife! I just want to get her a gift she likes."
Han saw Luke glance at his chrono. "Look Han, maybe you two just need to work on understanding your misunderstandings better," he said impatiently. "Now, I have somewhere to be, and I don't want to keep…them waiting."
"Kid--"
"Goodbye, Han," Luke said irritably, and ended the call.
Since when could a single man, looking back on two or three disastrous relationships tell a married man of ten years what was best for his marriage? Han found Luke's superiority about the matter quite irritating, but in the end it didn't matter--the kids wanted to see their uncle, Leia wanted to interrogate her brother, and Han just wanted to find the perfect gift for his wife.
Maybe Luke was having a Jedi's version of a midlife crisis. What exactly that would entail, Han didn't know, but as he entered the ritzy jewelry shop on Coruscant's surface, he cursed that fact that it did seem to entail ignoring one's brother-in-law.
"Master Solo, what a pleasure it is to see you today," said the short, balding storekeeper pleasantly. Despite the store's ritzy cliental, Han didn't mind shopping here. The owner and his staff saw
so many famous beings in one day, the Chief of State's husband walking in was a minor thing. "How can I help you?"
"I need an anniversary gift for Leia," Han said glancing around the jewelry store. "Do you have anything nice with a Corellian Blood Crystal?"
"Yes, my good man, we have many fine settings. They're kept in the back room, however," the storekeeper said enthusiastically. He gestured for Han to follow him as he headed for the back of the store. "Come right this way, Master Solo."
There were truly some lovely pieces, many of which that would look even lovelier on Leia. Han suddenly felt like he could do this without his rather difficult brother-in-law to assist him.
The door chime sounded, signifying the arrival of another customer. The shopkeeper excused himself and went to go greet the new customer.
"Hello, good sir!" Han heard the shopkeeper greet the new arrival as he browsed the selection of jewelry before him. "What can I help you find today?" Han's eyes landed on a necklace and earring set that instantly captured his interest. Leaning closer, he realized that this was going to be far easier than he had thought. This was perfect.
Han was about to walk back into the main room of the store, only to freeze in mid-step as he heard the customer return the greeting, "Hello, I'm looking for an engagement ring."
Han's mouth dropped open.No. It couldn't be.
"Well, we have many fine rings, sir," the storekeeper paused for a moment. "Sir, if you don't mind me saying you look remarkably like—"
The customer cut him off quickly, sounding both amused and anxious, "I get that all the time."
"I see, sir," the owner replied sounding skeptical. "May I inquire about your bride-to-be? What does she look like? What is she like? And where are you proposing, sir? Perhaps I can recommend something that will compliment her unique beauty and personality…and also something to compliment the atmosphere around…"
Han was very feeling very curious. The other customer obviously looked like someone famous, which left Han wondering if he really wasn't someone famous. With that thought in mind, Han fell to his knees and elbows, and began an army crawl towards the front of the store. Han positioned himself behind a large case of rather gaudy jewelry that had obviously been designed by someone who was not human, and peeked cautiously over the glass—and felt his jaw drop a couple of centimeters farther.
Luke Skywalker, Jedi Master, Hero of the Rebellion and Han's brother-in-law, smiled wistfully at the clerk, as he considered the question. Han was dying for Luke to answer the shopkeeper's question—for whom in the galaxy could Luke be getting an engagement ring? This certainly explained Luke's…eccentric…behavior.
"I've already proposed," Luke said with a laugh. "I proposed to her when we were about to drown. But I'm doing so formally tomorrow evening…at the Chez Fou. She has flaming red hair, emerald green eyes…she's tall and slender, and just has that I-know-I'm-beautiful-but-you-can't-touch-me way about her. She's sensible, practical and nobody's fool. And," Luke smiled wryly, "She wanted to kill me once…"
It was all too much for Han. He landed on his rear end with a sound thud, causing the displays around him to rattle. Mara Jade! There had to be some mistake! There was no way in the galaxy that his brother-in-law could be marrying the former Emperor's Hand!
"Excuse me, sir," the shopkeeper said cutting off Luke's very flattering description of the former assassin. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I have another customer in the back that I need to check on. I fear he may have come upon some trouble—he has a reputation for that."
Uh-oh. Sound carried far too well in this store, and if Han had to talk to the shopkeeper out here, Luke would hear his voice no matter how much he lowered it—and Han had no desire to be found here. There was already a very amusing plan for revenge forming in his mind.
Han quickly began to crawl back to the backroom. He sighed with relief when he heard Luke laugh. "Who do you have back there, my brother-in-law?" Han had to smother a laugh. Just keep talking, kid.
"I'm afraid I'm unable to divulge that information, sir. You see, my client is of a rather famous nature…surely you understand?" There was a hint of knowing in the shopkeepers voice that told Han that he knew exactly who this customer was, whether Luke admitted his identity or not.
Suddenly a horrifying thought occurred to Han. What if Luke sensed his presence? He had to get out of here, and quickly!
"Are you well, sir? I thought I heard a noise."
Han realized he was still on his hands and knees, and quickly held up his comlink. "Sorry, I dropped this," Han replied keeping his voice low. He stood up. "Listen, that guy out there…He is who you think he is. But I need to get out of here fast, so he doesn't…well, he might sense me. Jedi, you know. But first, I want this for my wife," Han said pointing to the necklace and earring set. The he gave the shopkeeper one of his lopsided-grins. "And I would also like one other item…"
"Oh, Han!" Leia breathed as they follow the host to their table in the elegant restaurant the next day. "I can't believe you chose this place! The Chez Fou!"
Han glanced at her worriedly, "What, you don't like it?"
"No Han, I love it! You usually try taking me to some cantina though…"
Han put an arm around her, "Well, you know…" he said giving her his most charming grin, "My taste has gotten much better since last year."
"Oh, really?" Leia asked her eyes sparkling, "Your gifts have always been nice…with the exception of the first two years. Something you're not telling me, nerfherder?"
Han stopped the host when he started to sit Leia in the chair facing the door. "She'll sit here," he told the man, point to the chair facing away from the door. He winked at Leia, "I still don't like having my back to the entrance."
When they had been seated, Han took her hand, "Well, there is. The truth is, Luke helped me pick out your anniversary gifts these past seven years…"
Leia shook her head, "Why doesn't that surprise me? Especially after the metal bikini…"
"Well, actually I asked for his help after you nearly cut off my toes with your lightsaber. But this year…" Han paused, "Well, you know how Luke's been. I picked it out myself," he whispered as if it were a big secret.
"And it's beautiful, Han," she said fingering the necklace that adorned her throat. She leaned across the table to give him a peck on the lips, "Your taste has improved. Thank you."
Han smiled at her, and they were silent for a moment. Han noticed that Leia's expression had become somewhat pensive, "What's wrong, Leia?"
She sighed, "I'm just worried about Luke. This isn't like him. He doesn't seem…well, depressed. He seems much happier than usual, actually. But he's hiding something. I know it."
Han squeezed her hand, and looked her straight in the eyes, "Luke's fine. I'm sure the kid's in no more trouble than he usually in."
Leia arched an eyebrow, "And this is supposed to reassure me?"
"He handles it well," Han said with a smirk. "Now, I'm sure you'll find out what he's up to soon. But tonight's our night, so let's not spend it worrying about our little brother," he said firmly.
She managed a laugh. "Alright, Han," she smiled, "I get the picture."
For the next half hour, Han relaxed and let himself focus on his wife. He had to be the luckiest old scoundrel in the galaxy, he decided.
Just as their main course was arriving, he saw them. Luke Skywalker was dressed in a slightly dressier version of his usual blacks, and Mara Jade was a startling, but beautiful contrast in an emerald green gown. To Han's relief, they were ushered to a table on the other end of the restaurant, well out of sight of himself and Leia. Han only hoped that he could get to hear the explosion when it happened.
"Han," Leia eyed him suspiciously, her fork half way to her mouth.
"Yes, sweetheart?"
"You're up to something," she said. "I know that look…and it can't be anything good."
Han gave her his best "Who, me?"look, and patted her hand, "Leia, how could you say such a thing?"
"Because I know you, Han…" she shook her head and sighed, "Alright, but I'm keeping an eye on you."
Han grinned at her, and started in on his marinated nerf steak.
The next hour passed uneventfully, and Leia and Han had ordered a humongous piece of Corellian chocolate cake to share for dessert. They had just taken their first morsels of it, when they heard an enraged shriek fill the restaurant, "LUKE SKYWALKER! HOW COULD YOU THINK I'D WEAR SUCH A THING?! AND FOR AN ENGAGEMENT RING, AT THAT!"
The effect was nearly instantaneous. Han burst out laughing, barely avoiding spraying chocolate cake all over Leia, whose jaw fell wide open in a very unladylike display of her half-chewed dessert. And the entire restaurant turned to see exactly which enraged female was screaming at the galaxy's most celebrated Jedi Knight.
Mara Jade was standing over a fearful looking Luke Skywalker, brandishing a steak knife. Poor Luke was gaping at the small jewelry box he held in his hand, looking very confused. He raised his hands in defense, "Mara…sweetheart… This isn't what I bought! The jeweler must have made a mistake!"
"It's you who made the mistake, Skywalker!" Out of the corner of his eye, Han realized that Leia was slowly rising from her seat as if in a daze. Han grabbed her hand, stopping her. "You have the worst taste in the galaxy," she jabbed the steak knife at his face, which caused Luke to flinch. "Listen to me, Skywalker…I'm picking out the furniture. Not to mention your wedding cloths! And if you ever buy me another gift, you're taking Solo with you to buy it!"
The irony was far too much for Han to take. He noticed Leia was glaring at him, "Are you responsible for this, Han?"
Han smirked. "Only the ugly ring," he said simply. With that, he got up from his chair and strode over to Mara and Luke's table and pulled out another small box, a twin to the one Luke held in his hand, and handed it to his brother-in law. They both looked at him in astonishment. He slapped Luke on the back, and kissed Mara on the cheek. "Congratulations, you two."