So here's the deal with this: I'm not really that good with ongoing plots. The frequency and weirdness of my ideas coupled with my crappy writing ethic makes me more comfortable with short stories. This fic is basically me coming up with a bunch of short stories, mostly of no consequence, that are intentionally varied in subject matter, style, and central characters. That way I can, for lack of a better word, attack this whole Haruhi thing from different angles. Also it's just a fun little idea. For instance, some people will complain when an album is inconsistent, but I like it when an album is all over the place. That's essentially the same sort of thing that you've got here.

Oh yeah, also: I don't own Haruhi or any of the characters, concepts, etc.

--

THE MEANING OF IT ALL

It was abnormally quiet in the clubroom – probably because Haruhi wasn't in it.

I didn't know for sure, but I assumed that she was off doing things that were immoral and/or illegal and would any minute burst into the room with a barely-thought-out scheme related to said acts and demand we all take part in it. It had happened with a depressing consistency in the past. I was dreading her arrival, but I had to admit I was also enjoying the quiet. Still, I wondered what the point was of all these adventures.

I wish I understood Haruhi. Not that it would change anything if I did; it's just that it would be nice to know what the hell is going through her head whenever she did something particularly infuriating. Unfortunately, Haruhi is the sort of person who doesn't seem to have a reason for anything she does. No one really understands her.

Asahina-san certainly didn't understand Haruhi, if such a thing was to be judged by the way she behaved: She was consistently startled and apparently baffled by the capricious Haruhi's random abuse. Right now, though, Asahina-san looked content – and, if I may, very lovely – scurrying about and performing various maid activities. She seems to have really gotten into her role. Probably her good mood would be ruined when Haruhi burst through the door. But it's best not to think about that right now.

Koizumi, on the other hand, claims to understand Haruhi, and I have to admit he has an irritating record of being right. Then again, there are lots of things it seems as though he doesn't understand, such as consideration of other people's feelings, the very concept of sincerity, and how not to be such a complete git. At least I have some class, unlike this suck-up. Look at him, playing solitaire with that stupid smile on his face. He was losing, of course – but he deserved it.

But there are quite a lot of things that I don't understand either. I barely understand anything I'm taught in school; I really don't understand any of the bullshit that pops out of Koizumi's mouth; and I definitely don't understand in the slightest why out of all the people she could bother, Haruhi always has to bother me. Sometimes it feels like I don't understand anything. I'm pretty sure everyone has that feeling.

Except maybe Nagato. There she was, in the corner of the room she always occupied, reading yet another foreign science fiction book that I probably couldn't comprehend even if it was in Japanese, not even paying the slightest bit of attention to anything else besides it. Often during class I wish I had her concentration, but all that wishing does is distract me even more.

I wondered what her take on Haruhi was. Not the stuff about "potential evolutionary possibility" or whatever she had said, but what she thought of Haruhi as a person. Does Nagato even think that way about people? Maybe. It was hard to tell. But as I thought more about it, I wondered less about her opinion on Haruhi and more about what her opinion was regarding life. I wondered if she had an answer, something that I might've missed, about what makes life worthwhile. If I asked Asahina-san, she'd probably say that either she didn't know or that it was classified information, and if I asked Koizumi, he'd probably just spew out about six paragraphs without actually saying a damn thing. But Nagato might have an answer, however incomprehensible it might be to an ordinary person like myself.

I got up and walked quietly to where Nagato was sitting. Koizumi gave me a weird look – he still had a smile on that cursed face of his, but he furrowed his brow slightly. I must have given him an equally weird look back, because then he started to snicker. Asshole.

"Er..." I began, turning away from Koizumi and facing the one I was questioning. "Nagato..."

Nagato looked up from her book. "What is it?"

"Nothing, I was just... I mean... well... I guess it isn't nothing."

Nagato didn't say anything; she just gave me a piercing stare. That bastard Koizumi let out a chuckle from out of sight. I swear I'm going to kick his ass someday.

"It's just..." I continued. "There was something I wanted to ask you."

"I see." Nagato said. Dammit, don't look at me like that! It makes me feel uncomfortable.

"I was just wondering what you thought..." I stopped. This question sounded a lot more stupid out loud. "...I was just wondering what you thought the purpose of life was."

Nagato gave me another look, one even more intent than before. I feel really stupid. She's not going to answer such a dumb question. Then she said something quietly: "It is of the opinion of the Integrated Data Sentient Entity that the main purpose of existence is to collect as much knowledge as can be obtained."

Of course that's what she'd say. How did I not think of it? It almost sounded like something she had memorized and was now reciting. I had expected her to turn back to her book, but instead she continued looking at me, as if to ask me if that was sufficient. I wasn't sure, though, if it was. I didn't know what was wrong, but it seemed as if something was missing...

Of course – she hadn't said anything about her. She had only mentioned the Integral Data Whatever Thingy.

"OK," I said, "But what about you?"

"I don't quite understand what you are insinuating," Nagato said.

"Well, I mean, personally, what do you think the meaning of life is?" Man, I sound stupid. I'm really starting to wish I hadn't bothered to start this conversation...

"My opinion is in accordance with that of the Integrated Data Sentient Entity." Nagato returned to her book.

Well, I can't say I was surprised. Me, I frankly didn't find this idea of collecting knowledge too appetizing. Personally, on a cold winter day I'd much rather play video games or listen to music or read by a fire than study. I'd rather do something other than studying most days, really. Plus, there was something frustrating about knowing there was no end to it. There was always more stuff I had to learn.

"I dunno," I said lamely. I knew I probably shouldn't bring it up, since Nagato might think I was being disrespectful or something, but for some reason I felt I had to. "Doesn't all the stuff you still don't know bother you?"

Nagato looked up at me again for the longest time yet. Just when I thought she wasn't going to say anything at all, she replied, "It didn't... Until you mentioned it."

Er...

Well...

There's not much to say to that.

Suddenly, Haruhi burst into the room, panting and carrying a microphone that looked as if it had been yanked forcefully out of the wall, and bellowed, "THEME SONGS!!"

What?

"In this day and age, it has to be theme songs!"

Oh boy.

--

"And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,

'Cause there's bugger all down here on earth."

-The Galaxy Song from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life