Summary: In less than twenty-four hours Damon Salvatore will be saying 'I do' to the love of his life. It's something worth celebrating but it's a difficult thing to do when he's still haunted by the loss of his brother. Finding himself not in the mood to partake in a bachelor party he ventures off to the Salvatore crypt to have a conversation with his brother.
Authors Note: It's been a really long time since I've found muse but today it struck me. I wanted to write something that shows how Damon is struggling ever since losing his brother. Fans believe he returned to normal and was 'happy, happy, happy' but that isn't the case at all. I'd like to believe on the happiest of occasions he still feels fractions of despair. Feedback is always appreciated. Happy reading
Bachelor parties are meant to be spent with the boys. Booze downed and clothes off at least when it comes to the stripper who somehow always manages to find her way on the invite list. It's the males last day of freedom before he promises himself to a woman till the rest of time. For some, it's an easy vow to follow but to others, it's something they struggle with and when pushed to temptation eventually fail.
They're thrown a night to remember but to Damon Salvatore, nothing will be memorable about this night because he doesn't fit the party criteria. Instead of music blaring he's met with the sounds of nature. He has the booze only he's not knocking it back in a shot glass just simply drinking straight from the bottle. Instead of being surrounded by his 'boys' he's left only to himself because in truth he is alone.
"I'm getting married tomorrow"
Tonight, he should be celebrating and spending it with his friends, but he's opted out of that and instead chosen to spend it with his brother. He's standing inside the Salvatore Crypt with his eyes trained on the inscription that reads 'Stefan Salvatore' and the way he's staring at the name comes off as if he's concentrating hard enough in hopes to see his brother standing in front of him.
"In less than twenty-four hours I'm going to be one step closer to fulfilling the promise I made to Elena years ago."
"The last time we stood out here you told me to promise you forever. It was the easiest promise to make with no hesitation or question because all I wanted was you. Unfortunately, since the universe gets it kicks out of torturing us that promise was ripped away when it ripped me away from you and took me over to the prison world. However, even that wasn't enough for it to be the end of us because we have this habit of always finding our way back to each other and that's what happened. I found my way back to you. I hadn't expected you to eternal sunshine our love story and even though it proved complicated we were able to do something most couples don't have the opportunity to do. We fell in love with each other all over again."
"For the longest time, I believed that forever was going to be ours but then the cure was re-introduced and with it came the possibility of being human again. Through time you accepted being a vampire but even I knew it was something you never wanted. I knew it would have been selfish of me to hold you back from getting the life you wanted and considering you were my life I also knew eventually I would take the cure too. I admit my reasoning for choosing to take the cure was for you. I feared to lose you. I knew if I lost you it would result in losing myself. So yes, I agreed to take the cure because I wanted to be with you, but I also wanted to build a life with you which included being your partner, husband, and father of your kids. Even though the thought of being human again scared me shitless I knew I'd survive it if you were by my side."
"I thought I was ready, but I should have known that even moments of bliss could turn tragic. Even tears of joy could turn to ones of despair and even a full heart could be broken. I felt all that the night I said goodbye to you. The night my entire world went dark. For years I remained in that darkness while the world continued to spin madly on. You know the rest. You know the hell I went through. Literally, figuratively and emotionally. It was in your absence though and watching others live a happy life where I realized I no longer wanted it just for you, but I wanted it for myself as well. I saw it all Elena so vividly to the point that it made my heart ache. I saw myself as human again. Witnessed us building a life together, being parents together, the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful I saw it all and I wanted it. More than anything."
"I promised you here on this very spot in the pouring rain that we'd have forever but forever isn't possible for us anymore. I once viewed eternity as a gift. Being able to live forever while the world changes but you don't. It seemed appealing but now I see it differently. I see it as a curse because there's only so much you can experience before you've experienced it all. Before you find yourself craving something more. Something that means something and being human again? Being able to be your partner, your husband, and father of your kids? That is everything. That is a gift that I want to share with you."
"Elena, I love you and it's because I love you that I'm on bend and knee making a new promise to you. To be your partner who supports you during your career that you worked so hard for. To be the arms that embrace you when you've had a tough day at the OR. To be the husband that laughs with you cries with you and most importantly loves you. Yes, there are going to be dark days where we'll argue back and forth…question if what we did was right, but I swear to you when we find ourselves at that moment I'll remind you why I'm standing there. Why I'm still there. This next part is the hardest one to promise because you know full well I didn't have the model parents that every child deserves. There is a part of me that fears I'm going to turn out like my father, but I know that's not true because I'll do the one thing my father couldn't. I'll love our child. I'll be everything that my father never was to me."
"You are my life Elena and now I want you to be my wife will you marry me?"
A soft smile pulling at his dark features as he recalls that day. However, it falters as he thinks of how he was able to be given this moment.
"A promise that would have remained only words had you let me die that night. You never could honor my wishes, could you?"
Shaking his head and lifting the bottle to his lips so that he could pull the alcohol from it.
"You took away my choice to die twice. One as a human"
Taking another swig from the bottle and then waving it absentmindedly around.
"And the other as a vampire."
There was an irony to all of this. Back in 1864 after believing to have lost Katherine, Damon had been ready to die. However, Stefan couldn't accept it and used the siren's call of blood to force Damon to feed and complete the transition. Over a century later Damon had been ready to walk into the shadow of death only for Stefan to inject him with the cure which resulted in him awakening and breathing his first breath as a human.
"But this time I can't promise you an eternity of misery, can I?"
With a heavy sigh, he takes a step back and falls onto the stone bench. It hadn't been here before but considering the amounts of times, Caroline had visited Damon had found it only fitting to get her something to sit on.
"I am however holding one hell of a grudge."
A bitter laugh escaping him.
"Apparently though I'm not allowed to hate you for it because what you did was selfless. You know sacrificing your life and all."
That's what he had been told countless times.
"I'm getting married tomorrow"
Repeating the statement again. Falling silent as he swallows the lump forming in his throat.
"It's meant to be the happiest day of my life and I know it will be. I'm marrying the love of my life. I'm going to be standing at the end of the aisle and the very sight of her is going to take my damn breath away. I'll be that groom fighting back tears because the more she draws near I'll be letting it sink in that this is happening."
Again, he pauses. The grip on the neck of the bottle tightening as he blinks his eyes a couple of times.
"And then for this one second, I'll be so caught up in the moment that I'll turn to the side expecting my brother to fondly be looking on and…and"
Now, he's having difficulty speaking. His eyes flicking around the crypt until finally settling back on the 'Stefan Salvatore.'
"I'll be greeted by the reality of it all that you're not here."
His eyes begin to sting because tears are starting to well in them, but he refuses to let them fall.
"You're supposed to be here."
Taking the sleeve of his jacket, he furiously wipes at his eyes.
"You're supposed to be my best man."
The comment causing a slight chuckle to slip past his lips. Sucking in a breath and trying to control his emotions.
"But I do think you'd approve of my designated best man."
"Of course, he would."
Another voice causing Damon to whip his head towards the doorway and spot Caroline leaning against it with a smile on her lips. Immediately he hastily wipes away whatever tears might have fallen.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
He tries to sound angry, but it only comes out weak causing him to sigh in defeat.
"Aren't you supposed to be at Elena's Bachelorette party?"
Pushing herself from the doorway she nods her head.
"Yes, but as your Best Man it's also my job to check in on you"
Offering him a soft smile and then taking a seat beside him.
"You're allowed to have fun you know"
Glancing over at her as he manages his best smirk.
"I am having fun"
Lifting the bottle to his lips and taking a deep swing before removing it from his lips and waving it in her direction.
"See, fun."
Rolling her eyes as she snatches the bottle away from him and then nudges her shoulder against his own.
"You know what I mean."
Watching as she too takes a sip from the bottle and then passes it back to him.
"It's hard. I struggle every day with this burden. I wonder if I'm happy if that makes me selfish because my happiness came at his expense. How can I feel joy yet also despair at the same time?"
Caroline's lips purse together as she considers his question and when she feels she has something she finally speaks up.
"Every time I look at my daughters I feel this wave of happiness hit me. When I hear them call me mom. When I watch them do something as simple as run around the yard I'm filled with joy but then this wave of sadness crashes over me because as much as I'm celebrating my life I'm also mourning Stefan's."
Damon's gaze remaining straight ahead but he's listening to every word she says.
"We're allowed to be sad Damon, but we're also allowed to be happy. Stefan didn't give up his life so that ours would end. He gave it up because it's just the beginning. Your life is just beginning. Your story is just starting. How you choose to write it is up to you but don't take it for granted because if you do you're going to miss out on something really beautiful."
Silence drapes over them and he's not sure how much time passes before he finally flicks his icy blues in her direction.
"That was a nice speech but how about saving the speeches for my wedding day?"
His tone teasing but then grew serious as he places his hand on hers.
"Thank you."
Interlacing her fingers with his own and giving a soft squeeze.
"That's why I'm your Best Man"
Giving him a smile and then rising to her feet as she begins to pull him up.
"Come on"
With a soft sigh, he stands up. Lifting the bottle to his lips, draining the rest of its contents and then setting the empty bottle down onto the bench. Casting his gaze over towards the 'Stefan Salvatore' he offers a weak smile.
"Thank you, brother, for everything you've given me."
Thinking how tomorrow is just the beginning of building his life with Elena.
"And everything your sacrifice will continue to give."
With her free hand, Caroline presses a kiss against her palm and then lays it against the tomb as if she's giving a goodbye kiss to her husband before she parts.
"I'll see you soon."
She promises as Damon delivers a reassuring squeeze to her hand.
"You should head back to the party I'll be alright."
Honestly, he'd probably end up just turning in for the night considering tomorrow would be an early start. Leading Caroline out of the dark crypt and into the night his steps halt when his eyes fall on Elena who from what it looks like has been waiting outside for them the entire time.
"Shouldn't you be participating in the whole Magic Mike experience?"
He questions with a raised brow and even from where he stands he can see that beautiful smile crossing her lips. The kind of smile that had the ability to make his dead vampire heart race and now his human one race just as much. Yup, she can bring him back to life with just that smile alone.
"I should be, but I wanted to be with you. Besides, I think the girls are enjoying the experience a whole lot more with the bride to be MIA."
It feels like a sense of deja-vu as they stand opposite of each other. He thinks back to the moment they reunited. How when his eyes fell upon her he saw his very salvation and even now he sees that. She's the light to his darkness. The darkness that had covered him ever since the loss of his brother. She's his solace, his peace, his and most importantly she's here.
Just like last time the tether between them is too strong to deny. Moving forward until they're meeting in the middle like waves that crash together. Their arms wrapped around each other in an embrace as the rest of the world is shut out leaving only them. They breathe the other in and take comfort in the fact that they're here, together.
They're not just any couple. They've had their hardships but rather than admitting defeat they put up the good fight. Rather than standing alone they've stood together, side by side and hand in hand. They've had their wars, come out with their battle scars but somehow, they've survived. They've always survived.
They're Damon and Elena and tomorrow they'll be man and wife.
END