Through the Heart

WARNING: Spoilers if you hadn't watched the movie yet. Boys kissing omfg wow rolls eyes
A/N: Consider this my comeback story. I know it's been ages since I last posted something but I didn't stop writing and I didn't forget about everyone. I've been busy with work and college and all that good stuff and yes for a time I just had zero will to write anything and sort of died a little inside but I've decided to let my muses have their way with me as it were. I recently sat down and watched all of Fullmetal Alchemist - all 19+ yummy hours of it. The movie included and when Ed had to go back through the Gate and leave Ed, I just felt my heart break but when Alphonse had stowed away in the armor, it helped a bit but still. Roy and Ed have the worse luck when it comes to being together and I thought that they deserved a second chance.
Paring: Roy+Ed

Please read and review if you enjoyed the story, I'd love to get some feedback on this since I'm a little worried about how my writing style has changed since I last worked on some stories that I felt were good enough to be posted for a mess of people to read and the word of my hubby only mean so much when it comes to writing

Through the Heart
By: Datenma

Thinking back to that day, there are many things I regret that I didn't think I would have when I came back to Germany. I felt bad for thinking that the General might have failed even for a moment…and I can't forget the hurt that I felt when I thought that he might have died without me even knowing. Seeing him for those few moments during the battle…I wish I hadn't taken his presence for granted all those years I was with him. I wanted to run to him and just throw my arms around him but I couldn't, there was no time for sentimentalities. I wanted to say a million things to him but the words just refused come out. I wish he had put up a fuss when I said I had to go back…but I could see it in his…eye…there was a certain pain there that I hadn't expected from Brigadier General Roy Mustang.

Alphonse's voice cuts into my thoughts and I blink, turning away from the window and watching him with a small smile as he comes in through the kitchen doorway, "Ni-chan, we need some things from the market, can you get them while I start dinner?" I blink and sigh, holding my hand out for the list, shaking my head and starting to grin.

"Are you sure you put down everything on the list?" Al puffs his cheeks slightly, putting his hands on his hips, wagging a finger at me.

"Go, go, go." With that said, I somehow find myself on the doorstep with my jacket pushed onto my shoulders, the list still clutched tightly in my hand. Al smiled brightly, "Don't come back until you have all the groceries, got it, Brother."

The door closes behind me before I can respond and I sigh, smiling softly and shaking my head, fixing my jacket as I head down the steps. I wave to Graceia on my way past her floral shop, blinking at Hughes standing across the street and hiding in the alleyway, staring at young woman from a distance. I walk over to him, grinning, "I thought you got over that by now, Hughes."

He flaps his arms, "Shh, I'm just keeping an eye on her to make sure she's safe. There was a strange guy with an eye-patch talking to her earlier."

My heart skips a tentative beat at this and I look up at him quickly, "An eye-patch over which eye? Did he have black hair, grown a little more over the eye-patch? And did he walk around like this?" I do my best imitation of the General, making the same stupid grin and putting my hand to my chin, my thumb and index finger out like a checkmark. Hughes blinks at me.

"Do you know him?"

"S-so he did look like that? Which way did he go?" Hughes blinks again, pointing in the direction that the man went and I wave to him, plunging headfirst into the crowd and running in the direction he pointed in. "Edward?" He calls after me but I just wave to him again, not glancing back.

I know it's stupid. I know that it couldn't possibly be my Roy…not that…that Roy had ever belonged to me in a way that I could just slap a possessive title in front of his name. But…if there's even the slight possibility that this world's Roy is here in Munich, I want to see him, even if it's only for a moment. I just want to see him.

I need to see him. I don't even have to talk to him so long as I can get a brief look at the man who resembles the General…I can't explain this feeling, burning deep down in my chest but I just need to see him. I probably shouldn't get my hopes up since it isn't the same person but I want to see this world's Roy. I want to see how different he is from…'my Roy'. I want to see how this world has shaped him.

Maybe I just want to see how he lives without ever having met me.

The thought is too bitter for me to continue and I shake it from my mind quickly, keeping my head up and pushing down the street, my heart starting to pound in my ears.

After searching through the crowd for him, I have to admit to myself that it's foolish to go chasing after someone who probably isn't even the General. Someone who probably isn't even this world's Roy. With a defeated sigh, I turn back and make my way towards the market to get the shopping for dinner out of the way so I can try to forget that man. I take out the list and move from store to store, making sure I ordered all the right ingredients for the both of us.

Just as I reach the counter in the bakery, someone behind me calls out, "Hey, bean." I feel the telltale snap inside my brain and turn around quickly to face the man, feeling the anger bubbling up in the pit of my stomach. I take a deep breath, pointing an accusing finger at the person as I let out a shout.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BEAN SO SMALL THAT YOU NEED A MAGNIFYING GLASS TO SEE IT!" The man holds his hand up to his mouth, starting to laugh, tears of mirth bubbling at the corner of his right eye. My anger melts away as quickly as it had boiled up.

There is an eye-patch over his left eye, his dark hair grown a little more over that side as if to hide the patch.

He straightens, wiping the tears away with a white gloved finger and smiling at me gently. A smile so tender I wanted to know what I could have possibly done to deserve such a loving look. I take a tentative half-step towards him but stop. I didn't want to let myself believe that this was my Roy. I didn't want to get my hopes up even if he was standing right in front of me, close enough to touch if I reached out my arm for him, even if it would be unlikely if this world's Roy had the same eye-patch. And the same ease when it came to annoying me.

Had he gotten more handsome since I last saw him? It's a wonder someone like him manages to stay single for so long. Just for the record, I never said that him being handsome thing.

He continues that gentle, saccharine smile, studying my face openly. With the same openness my Roy always did. "Fullmetal, I…" That's all I needed to hear. I launch myself at him, throwing my arms around his neck, our chests colliding rather roughly but neither of us cares. His hands go to my sides automatically as he catches me, a soft sound of surprise escaping his lips. We're probably getting strange looks but I don't care. When I left him, we barely said a word to one another and yet I wanted to say so much to him, even now I can barely think of anything that I want to say. All I can do is keep this physical connection between us.

If I let go of him now…maybe I'd be too embarrassed to face him. Or maybe I'm worried about his disappearing. Or maybe this is all just a vivid dream. If it is, I never want to wake up. I don't want to lose him. Not again. Never again.

I clutch at his jacket, still having to stand on tiptoe to reach his chest, pressing my face to it. His body is strong and warm, especially the hands he has placed on my hips, slowly sliding them around to the small of my back. I never thought that his touch would be so tender and comforting.

Without a doubt in my mind, this is my Roy Mustang.

When the General spoke again, I could hear the embarrassment in his voice and it made me smile, even though there were tears in my eyes. "We're getting looks, Fullmetal…" He gives me a gentle squeeze before slowly, hesitantly releasing me, helping me with the groceries before taking my hand and dragging me out of the store. He doesn't say anything as he leads the way back towards my house.

Then I wonder what he would think if he saw Hughes right now but then again, he's already seen Graceia so he's probably figured out how this world is. Still…I wonder if it would hurt him to see his dead friend in this world…

I give his hand a slight squeeze, biting down on my bottom lip and allowing him to drag me through the crowd. I look up and see there's a blissful smile on his face and my heart skips a hesitant beat. Is he this happy because of me? How'd he even get here? How did he even know to find me here? If he's here in his body, does that mean the Roy in this world was…

I shake my head, making myself dizzy and tripping slightly, crashing into him. He paused, glancing back at me and waiting until I righted myself before he started his teasing, "You should watch where you're going, Fullmetal, rather than stare at me with such adoring eyes."

I flap my arm, still clutching at his hand with my other hand. "I was not staring at you! You're so full of yourself, idiot General." He smiles at me gently and I stop my fussing immediately, blinking up at him.

Brigadier General Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist. On the surface, he seems like a man with no morals who would do anything to climb up through the ranks of the military and chase women around on the side. Spending just a little time with him, I know there's so much more to him than that or else I wouldn't have trusted him. I wouldn't have wanted to come back to that world so badly.

I wouldn't be clinging to him so desperately now to keep a tie between us.

My heart wouldn't cry out for him as much as it does.

I missed him.

I think the thing that I missed the most about him is his smiles the most.

"A lot has happened since you disappeared the first time, Fullmetal…" He continues to smile, going up the stairs of my house and pausing, waiting for me to open the door, "I spoke with…Graceia…" He glances towards the flower shop, something strange flickers in his eye for a split second before he shakes his head, "She told me you lived here but…" He rubs the back of his neck for a hesitant moment, his pale cheeks coloring slightly, "I don't know…"

I sigh, blushing slightly and opening the door, "You really are an idiot General…" I grasp at a bit of his jacket, glancing down shyly and pulling him into the house, closing the door behind us. After removing our boots and coats, I lead the way into the kitchen, finding a note from Alphonse on the counter saying that he'd gone out with Graceia to help her with some flower deliveries. I blush more, setting the groceries down on the counter, "I…guess we're alone…"

Suddenly, I felt his presence behind me, the warmth radiating off his body and surrounding me like a protective blanket. I close my eyes for a moment, just letting him wash over me. After spending so much time avoiding him and yelling at him when I was younger, I can't believe even the smallest thing like his scent can be enough to ease what worries were scurrying about in my mind.

Without realizing it, I lean back against him slowly. He places his arms on either side of me, resting his hands on the counter near mine and gently brushing his fingertips along my left hand, barely touching my hand at first. I tilt my head slightly, resting my head on his chest as he moves his hand slowly, laying it on top of mine. If someone had told me Roy could be this gentle, I would have laughed at them so hard I wouldn't be able to stop. But the way he's touching me now…it's almost too good to believe. Taking my hand and leading me through the crowd was one thing but this…he's doing it because he wants to, not because he needs to keep me from running away or getting separated from him.

He slips his fingers underneath the edge of my glove, slowly sliding it off before taking my bare hand gently and lifting it up towards his face, pressing his lips softly against the palm. I blush, turning around in his arms slowly and looking up at him, "We have a lot to talk about, Fullmetal." I swallow past the lump in my throat as he takes my hand and leads me into the other room, sitting down on the couch and pulling me with him.

We sit there for a long moment, neither of us moving as Roy stares at the table in front of the couch and I stare up at him, studying the serious expression on his face. Finally he shifts, leaning back against the couch and looking up at the ceiling, ready to tell me what he had been wanting to tell me, "After I killed Fuhrer Bradley…I knew that there was no way I could rise to the top as I had originally planned…so I gave up my title and just became an enlisted man." He glances at me, holding my gaze, his expression still just as serious, "I requested to be stationed out at a post alone…" He looks away, his cheeks coloring slightly, his brow furrowing, "I waited three years…because I knew…I just knew that you were alive, Fullmetal…"

I blush, glancing away nervously, "W-what are you talking about…" I sigh, leaning against him slightly, feeling that we both needed it, "Well, if we're getting down to it, you don't have to call me Fullmetal anymore since I'm no longer part of the military…it's been a while since I was."

He smiles softly, shaking his head, "I guess you're right…it's like we're starting over with a clean slate." He leans over me slightly and I blush more, "So, rather than calling me 'General' all the time or some other military title like that, you have to call me by my name also. Go ahead, try it out, it wouldn't be the first time you used my name."

I puff my cheeks slightly, looking away from him quickly, "I'm not a little kid anymore, R-Roy." I blink, my heart starting to pound loudly in my chest. Just as he said, I had said his first name once before but that was by accident. Saying it this way, because we both wanted it…there seemed to be a special meaning behind it. As if we had progressed past subordinate and commanding officer with the simple gesture; going from 'General' and 'Fullmetal' and to 'Roy' and 'Edward'…I wonder how long it is going to take us to get used to this.

"So…for three years, going on nothing but your gut feeling, you…waited for me…" I look up at him slowly, blushing again when I catch his eye but not looking away. I never really took the time to study his eyes, I was always in a rush to find the Philosopher's Stone and then…well, so much happened just because I met the General…I mean, just because I met Roy. Maybe it started before I met him but…really, he pushed me down the right path through it all. It felt like he always had a plan for what was going on when it was happening even while I had to keep guessing just to get by.

I shake the thoughts from my head. It wasn't like he had kept me in the dark on purpose. He was always looking out for me, I knew it then I was just too hard-headed to admit it. His eyes would always be so full of emotion when he looked at me…full of worry, annoyance, anger…and joy whenever he teased me, even though he knew that I hated it.

Thinking back on it, his eyes were beautiful, even his remaining eye…there's a gentleness that was always there and it had somehow grown since the last time I saw him. I can't seem to tear myself away from that deep blue orb. He's still so handsome, even with the eye-patch, it just seems to add to his classic charm. Everything about him just makes my heart pound.

"You waited for me, all alone…you could have gotten married or something, had a normal life finally but you…why are you so stupid…You could have had any woman that you wanted but still you…threw your life away all because you had a feeling." Even if I am scolding him, in the pit of my stomach, there's a warm fire burning. He waited for me. He waited for me for three years just because he felt that I was alive. What had I ever done to deserve such a foolish and yet…accidentally romantic man.

I don't care how he got here. He's here now. He's here and I'll be damned if I'm going to let him go now that I have him. After what he's just confessed to me, even if he asks to leave now, I'd find a way to keep him.

"I waited for you because I wanted to wait for you, Edward. I didn't think that you were alive, I knew that you were alive. Right here." He presses the palm of his hand to the middle of his chest, closing his eye for a moment, "I knew in my heart that you were alive." He smiles, "Because if you had died…my heart would have shattered into a million pieces."

My face turns red again, "R-Roy…how can you saying such embarrassing things so easily…"

He sighs, shaking his head and running a hand back through his hair, "I practiced a lot while I was figuring out a way to get to you…and while I was waiting for you…" He closes his eye for a moment and I can't help but stare at him, though I've been staring at him for a while now. For all the arguments that we have had in the past…this man really…

I smile to myself. He really has stolen my heart so easily and I want him to have it more than anyone else in the world.

"How did you get here? I thought you destroyed the Gate on your side when Al and I destroyed the Gate here…"

Roy shifted slightly, letting out a sigh, "After figuring out where you were and that you were safe, I thought that I would be happy with just the knowledge that you were alive somewhere. Then I started thinking about you more and more and I realized that just knowing you were somewhere wasn't enough for me anymore. I wanted to have you nearby and be able to keep watch you and touch you whenever I wanted to."

"I told you that I'm not a kid anymore…and there isn't anyone after me like there was when I was searching for the Philosopher's Stone…no Scar or Homunculi…" He lets out another sigh, shifting and turning to me, grasping my arms gently. I blink up at him, never sure what to expect when it came to him and what he had in store for me.

"You don't get it do you…" He laughed softly, shaking his head, "Even after I went through the Gate to get to you, you still don't understand my feelings…"

"F-feelings…what are you talking about, Roy…?" He bows his head for a moment before leaning towards me slowly, opening his mouth slightly and I swallow nervously, unable to do anything but stare up at him.

It's only as his warm breath ghosts over my lips that I realize what he intends to do and my mind goes completely blank as he presses his lips to mine.

Apart from his looks, I never knew why he was such a lady killer but know I guess I can see where he gets that reputation. His lips are incredibly soft and there's a slight pressure of his lips against mine, it's urgent but shy at the same time. My heart skips a beat and I feel myself growing more and more attached to him with each passing second of this physical connection.

Who would have thought that I would ever fall in love with Roy Mustang?

But it's happened, without me willing it to, without meaning to, without thinking that I would ever be in this position with him, without thinking that he would be the one to make the first move. Then again, he's a very ambitious man. If he wants something, he goes for it…but somehow, this is different from the Roy I thought I knew.

It's just a short, innocent kiss but it carries all the meaning in the world to me, my heart swelling in my chest until it was almost painful but at the same time, I have never been so happy before in my life. It probably sounds corny but…just that simple, sweet kiss was enough to send me soaring.

Without thinking about it, I lift my hand slowly and I rest it on his cheek as he starts to pull back, pausing when our lips are just a half-inch apart. One of his hands is tangled gently in my hair, the other clutching at my shoulder. Even though he's only used gentle touches with me today, it still surprises me that a military man like him can be so…tender.

I brush my bare fingers along his right cheek and he smiles softly, turning his head and leaning into the touch, closing his eye and taking a deep breath. Now that we are touching like this, it seems so simple and I absently wonder why we never did this before, even though I know the answer already. We always joked around with each other or fought or tried to prove ourselves. There was never any time to really understand each other and find out about our feelings or at least my feelings for him. I was too young for romance, too obsessed with finding the Philosopher's Stone and getting Al's body back. But Roy's here now and I won't let him go and I won't run away. I'm done running away from him. The more distance I put between us, the more I end up hurting the both of us.

He smiles more, running his fingers back through my hair, his hand catching in my tie before he pulls it out slowly, tossing the band onto the nearby table, my hair falling down around my shoulders. "You should wear your hair down more often, Edward…" I blush, glancing down shyly.

"Because I look like a girl with my hair down, right?"

He blinks, laughing for a moment before smiling at me gently, resting his hand on the nape of my neck and leaning towards me, kissing my forehead softly, "No, because you look even more beautiful and carefree with your hair down." I feel my face grow hot and I begin to sway, his words finding their way straight to my heart, surrounding it like a warm, protective blanket.

We stare at each other for a breathless moment, not wanting to spoil it with imperfect words. I swallow nervously, breaking the gaze first and grasping his hands, pulling his gloves off slowly and pressing my left hand to his right. His hand is a larger than mine but then again, he's still a lot taller than me. I guess I never really minded deep down but it might make kissing him a little more difficult while we're standing.

My face goes bright red and he blinks, leaning towards me again and giving me that wolfish grin. "Thinking about something naughty, Edward?"

I blush more and press my hand to his face, pushing him back, "Gah! You're so full of yourself!" He smiles, grasping me by the wrist and pulling my hand away slight before he presses his lips gently against my palm. I feel a shiver roll down my spine and my heart starts to pound rapidly.

He smiles more, "I merely asked if you were thinking about something naughty, I never suggested that you were thinking about me, now did I?" My eyes widen slightly and I puff my cheeks. He smiles softly, a mixture of sadness and joy swirling around in his deep blue eye, "I really did miss you, Edward…you can't begin to imagine just how much I wanted to see you…I never even got to hold you before…but I won't make the same mistake again. I'm going to hold you and kiss you as much as possible until you're sick of me and even then I won't stop. I'm never going to leave you."

Roy Mustang. He's still just as dangerous and calculating as ever but that's what gives Roy his charm. He knows what he wants and he does everything in his power to take it and hold onto it.

I love him. There's no other word to explain what I feel for him, no greater word other than love. I respected him when I was a kid and I feared and hated him at times but I would never have gotten through everything if it hadn't been for him.

He pulls me close, slipping his arms around me and I fall against his chest lightly, blushing as I press my ear to his chest, the sound of his heart thumping in his chest reaching me. I have never heard a sound so pure and sure before, better than any song and almost as reassuring as his voice. My eyes flutter close and I breathe him in, relaxing in his arms. I love him.

"Edward…" He pulls back slightly, just enough to tilt his head down to look at me. I pull away reluctantly, lifting my head and blinking up at him. Has he really always been this handsome?

"Edward…" He whispers my name, savoring it on the tip of his tongue and I feel my heart beat faster, my cheeks warming. He laughs, shaking his head, "I've never said this to anyone before…I never thought that it would be so difficult…even though I practiced it over and over again…I always wanted to tell you…"

"Tell me wha…?"

He cuts me off, whispering my name gently again, "Edward…with all of my heart and soul, I love you…I think that I have always loved you. Everything about you just constantly amazes me and right when I think I have you figured out, you go and surprise me all over again." He kisses my hand gently, my mind going fuzzy, "I know that I don't deserve you…but I will do everything in my power to make you happy. No one else in any world can ever love you as much as I do. I'll take care of you as much as I can…"

I blush, smiling shyly, "I've already told you this, Roy, I'm not a little kid anymore…just so long as you're near me, I'll be happy…" I take his hand shyly, pressing my lips to his palm, looking up at him, "Roy…I…I love you too…I hated having to leave you like that…but I was so glad I got to see you then…and when I heard that you were here…I just had to see you…but I didn't want it to be…" I frown, biting down on my bottom lip, "I didn't want to get my hopes up and find out that it wasn't really you…I never thought I would miss someone so much…"

He blushes slightly and pulls me to him again, "Well…you won't get to know that feeling again because I don't plan on letting you out of my sight." He holds me gently and slowly lowers me onto my back, following me and leaning over me slightly before laying down, half on top of me, half on the couch.

My heart starts to race again. Does he want to…?

He smiles softly, tangling one hand in my hair, resting the other on my hip, "Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything until you're ready." I roll my eyes but smile at him.

"Idiot Roy…" I turn to him and wrap my arms around his neck, pressing my body against his shyly as I kiss him.

"Ah, Edward, I still have a lot to teach you." He smiles playfully, pushing me onto my back and laying on top of me gently again, kissing me deeply.

"Roy…"

Alphonse came back from helping Graceia, making sure that the door was locked behind him when he saw that Ed's coat was hanging in the corner along with his boots, "Brother, I'm back" He calls into the quiet house, blinking when he didn't receive an answer. 'His coat is here so why isn't he answering…?' He spotted Roy's coat hanging next to Ed's along with his boots pressed neatly against the wall, blinking and tilting his head, not recognizing them.

He puts the flowers Graceia had given him in a vase in the kitchen, setting them on the windowsill so they would get enough light. He looked around the house to find out where Edward went. He blinked and smiled brightly when he spotted Roy and Edward fast asleep on the couch, Ed curled up against Roy and the dark haired man holding him protectively. 'I knew they would run into each other if I kicked Ed out of the house for a little bit…' He smiles more, tiptoeing upstairs silently so as not to disturb the two, humming cheerfully to himself once he was out of earshot as Roy nuzzled Edward gently.

Now that the General was around to look after his brother, Alphonse knew that Ed would be able to be happy and stop regretting what they had left behind when they had traveled through the Gate.

Hohenhime had said that everyone carries a small bit of the Gate within their heart. This is how we are all connected, no matter what separates us physically or emotionally.

-bis zum Ende-

8