There was a sharp pain then a familiar feeling, the feeling of defeat. He was helpless, no one cared, but his razor blade. He never really loved anyone. It didn't count when you were a child, when you are a child you cling to the ones that whisper sweet words to you. It could be anyone and you would still love them because they protect you for a while. It was all because you were so innocent and small, if it were someone else they wouldn't be able to protect shit. I'll always be there for you. When they die they leave you all alone and you become bitter and hurt and full of loneliness, thoughts of hatred fill you head. People start to notice your hurt and try and be friendly, but you just push them away. Why would you want to be with anyone else when you know that they'll just die and leave you again. It always tears your heart when they walk away though, but the thought of loss hurts even more. People die and people forget , it's inevitable.
He watched his blood run off his wrist. His mom died long ago and his father leaves with Hito following. He only ever had Hito and his grandpa, but Hito left. Takao's had so many losses it effected his train of thought, he could think about school. He was too busy dreaming about Beyblade, the only thing that would never leave him. Who would've known he would have met his first love while beyblading, Kai Hiwatari. Plus, his two best friends, Max Mizuharu and Rei Kon, but his heart longed for death. The terror of leaving this cold, dark world. It was obvious Kai suffered more than himself, but he was so caught up in himself to remember Kai's hurt. Was it selfish to think he was the only one with these feelings?
Takao deepened the cut and bit his lip. He gasped and watched some more spill out. His grandpa was away too, now he only had his friends. Takao wrapped up his wound and got up, shaking a bit madly, but walked around the room to make himself calm down, if at least a little. He fell onto his bed, he was just shivering now. With the rest of his strength he wrapped himself up with his blankets. Soft sobs escaped his lips, he held himself as tight as he could. He couldn't sleep, he was afriad, afriad of not having enough strength to wake up. He didn't want to leave Kai, the very Kai that pushed all of them away. After a few hours he was wide awake. He left to talk to find his friend, Rei. Rei was pretty much the only one who was content enough to talk about his personal situatations. A few steps and he slipped and fell on his face.
"What the..?" Takao looked at what he slipped on and he blushed, he was staring at a banana peel. "My god! I swear ... sometimes... I just wanna," he mumbled, he picked up the banana peel and went to the T.V. room, where Max, Rei, and Kai were sitting. Kai was reading and Max and Rei were watching some girly 'soap' show. Takao threw the peel at Max's head and sat beside Kai in the love seat. "I told you he'd trip on it, Rei. Now, you owe me a flying pig," Max said, with a cute smile following. Rei sweat dropped and chuckled. "Well, that sounds nice and all Maxie, but how about something real, maybe?" Rei said. Kai was just siting there reading his book, Takao was being drawn into him, like how a space rock getts pulled in by the atmosphere. Takao was blushing so he looked away, now staring at the television, still with the soap on. "Um, why're you guys watching this?" Takao asked, a bit weirded out. "Well, Koji is about to propose to Misai and I don't want to miss it, and Mimi is having a forbidden affair with her twice removed cousin," Max said, his eyes sparkling.
Rei sighed. "I'm not going to ask why you like this, Max. I'm just going to forget and go to the kitchen," Takao said. Kai watched Takao leave and said, "You know he's right...soaps are for women and old couples." Rei smirked. "Why'd you wait until Takao left? Didn't want to agree with him?" Rei asked, teasingly. Kai blushed, slightly. "Takao's an idiot, just like you, forget I even said anything," Kai said, pissed off now. Rei sighed. "Sorry, Kai. You know you should confess your feelings, right?" Rei asked. Kai just nodded, silently.
"SHHH!! The parts coming!!!!!" Max raised his voice, his eyes glued to the televison.
-Other room-
Takao sat at the table and rested his head on it, thinking of those crimson eyes. They reminded him of his blood, it scared him, but they were Kai's eyes. Could he get over the small fear or not ever look into the eyes of the one he loves? Either way, he couldn't look into Kai's eyes. He's afriad that Kai might call him something mean or cold, something Kai-like. Takao sighed and closed his eyes, trying to remember his mom's face, nothing came into his mind. Although, if he though about it, his father had black hair, so that means his mother had his hair. He smiled, contently. He sniffled and rubbed his eyes. "Takao, you look tired, haven't you gotten any sleep?" asked the cold captain. Takao shivered and turned to see the one he longed for, Kai. "Um, I'm just a bit tired, no big deal, Kai," Takao assured Kai.
Although he didn't buy it one bit. "Mmmhmm, so why do you have dark bags under your eyes, also you're a bit pale," Kai said. Takao panicked for a second, did Kai find out his secret? "Um, what do you plan to do about it, captain?" Takao asked. Kai glared for a moment and then sighed, "Com'on, you must be tired, let's go sleep in your bed. I could use a nap anyway," Kai said, grabbing Takao's shirts' collar and pulling him. "Um, Kai?! No please! I don't want to sleep, I'm not tired at all. I'm all better, I promise," Takao whined, like a small boy who didn't want to take a bath even though it'd been a long time since he did. "Stop yer whining Takao, we're just going to sleep for a while, NOT the end of the world," Kai said, coldly. Takao nodded and walked by behind Kai. Lucky for himself, Takao already hid all his bloodly items. Kai took the outside of the bed, so Takao couldn't run away from embaressment.
"Put on what's most comfortable, because I know how much it sucks to have an unpleasant sleep because of tight clothes... erm, I mean,... just change," Kai sighed. Takao went into his closet to change, not wanting Kai to yell or do anything else. Takao scurried to his bed in his giant pajamas and crawled into the bed beside Kai, his heartbeat went faster. He rested his head on one of the three pillows he had. Kai used one of them and the third one was in between them, which got Takao's hopes down. Kai stared at Takao intensely, Takao catch the stare and started sweating. "Um, Kai? Wh-why're you looking at me like that?" Takao asked, a bit nervous. Kai looked away, blushing. Takao removed the pillow separating them and hugged Kai. Kai wrapped his arms around Takao, holding him close. Takao was blushing, a real dark red, but it didn't stop him from feeling at home in Kai's arms.
"K-Kai, thanks, I love ...," before he could confess he fell asleep in Kai's arms feeling safe. Kai's heartbeat sped and was shaking a bit, but then he noticed Takao fell asleep. "I-I was so ... how dare you fall asleep on me like that, Kinomiya-san...," Kai said under his breathe. He calmed down and fell asleep himself afer a few minutes. Stupid Taka..