Disclaimer: The characters in this story are not my own but are the property of Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, and FOX.
Rated: G
Summery: It's been one year since Melissa's death... can Scully stop blaming herself? And can she allow herself to set aside her strength for the man who's glimpsed more of her soul than anyone else?
Author's Note: Typically a Law and Order: SVU author, this is my first shot at X-Files. Feedback much appreciated.
--- Undisguised ---
A heavy sigh escaped her as she pulled up to her apartment building. The sky was just beginning to darken as what seemed like hundreds of stars began to appear. It was a beautiful night, but she didn't notice.
Entering the building, she soon found herself waiting rather impatiently for the elevator and deciding that the walk would do her good, she took the stairs instead. For once, her day had been uneventful, a rarity when working as an agent on the X-Files. She hadn't said much all day and she was sure that her partner had noticed. He hadn't questioned her about it but maybe that was because he already knew the answer. The looks of concern that he'd cast her way, hadn't escaped her.
At her apartment now, she unlocked the door and stepped inside not even bothering to turn on the lights as she made her way toward the kitchen. She knew what she needed tonight.
Stepping out of her heels as she poured herself a glass of wine, she left them lying there as she stepped toward the living room. The sound of silence seemed deafening but it was one she was used too. She removed her jacket and tossed it aside before setting herself down on the sofa.
For a moment, she sat there, memories flooding her thoughts and playing like broken record in her head. She closed her eyes and made a feeble attempt to push them aside but they only seemed to become more vivid.
Taking a sip of her wine, she cringed at the dry taste of it. Maybe she wasn't in the mood for it after all. Setting it on the table next to her, her eyes came to rest on the picture frame adorning it of two little girls building castles in the sand... of her and her sister.
Today made one year since Melissa's death and the most difficult thing was, not matter how her sister's case had progressed, no matter the outcome, there was no closure in it for her.
Her eyes traveled to the little girl that had been her and she wondered inwardly, what had happened to the child who had once built castles in the sand? What had happened to the dreamer? She wondered when the little girl had left to be replaced by the scientist, the one who needed proof.
Her partner found it so easy to be open to the unexplained. To believe in things that only caused others to believe him to be crazy. So why did she find it so hard to have faith in things that could not be seen? She was beginning to question everything that had made her the person she'd become.
The silence in the room was broken by the sound of a quiet knock at the door. She was startled out of her thoughts, though she quickly regained her composure, brushing away the unshed tears which had formed in her blue green eyes.
She answered the door a moment later, only slightly surprised by who it was that she found standing there.
"Hi, Mulder." She said barely above a whisper, trying not to betray the emotion that had begun to take over only moments before.
"Is everything all right?" She asked instinctively. It wasn't every day that he visited her at her apartment.
"Everything's fine." He nodded and she noted his seriousness, the usual light hearted sarcasm not there.
"Can I---" He only had to begin before she stepped aside to let him in. God only knew, she could use the company and most of all, his.
"Can I get you something to drink?" She asked as she shut the door behind him but he shook his head.
"No, I'm fine."
They stood in silence for a moment, each of unsure of what to say next.
"Do you want to sit down?" She finally offered and he merely sat down on the far end of the sofa in reply to her question. She retook her seat on the opposite end, taking another sip of her wine.
He watched her for a moment, imagining what she must be thinking. It wasn't hard to guess. He knew that Scully was still blaming herself for the death of her sister by a bullet that had been meant for her. And all of the reasoning in the world hadn't proved to change her mind. He glanced down at the floor as they continued in silence
"She was a dreamer..." He looked up at the sound of her voice. She sounded years away and the distant look in her eyes as she stared ahead at the wall, told him that she was.
"We couldn't have been more different." She paused for a moment. "She was always telling me that not everything could be proven... not everything could be explained."
Her vision blurred as her eyes filled with unshed tears once again. She was always so busy being strong and even now, she found herself unwilling to relinquish that strength. Not even for the man she'd allowed to see more of her soul than anyone else in her life.
She stifled the sob that threatened to escape her but she was unable to hide the look on her face, contorted with emotional pain. She could only hope that the darkness of the room, hid her weakness from him. But it didn't and his own face filled with concern.
"Scully," He finally broke the silence. "You don't have to be strong around me."
She turned her gaze on him now, her lip quivering with emotion as a single tear streamed down her face. Unable to think of anything more to say, he did the only thing he knew to do, sliding next to her. He wrapped his arms around her as the dam within her broke.
The tears flowed freely now, as she placed her arms around him and rested her head against his chest. The steady beat of his heart calmed her as she continued to hold onto the safety of his embrace. She felt his hand stroking her hair gently and it wasn't long before exhaustion overcame her.
He could feel as her arms fell away from him, the steady sound of her breathing, telling him that she had fallen asleep in his arms and he continued to hold her for a moment, unwilling just yet, to let her go.
He gently moved off of the sofa to lay her across it and though she stirred momentarily, he was careful not to waken her. Reaching for a nearby blanket, he covered her with it before heading for the door.
He was halfway out before he turned back to watch her sleeping for a moment. She appeared peaceful for the first time all day. Stepping back toward her, he knelt down in front of the sofa, staring down at her before brushing her hair away from her face. And he leaned down to place a gentle kiss on her forehead.
Standing once again, he headed for the open door and looked back once more. He would see her again at work.
"Tomorrow." He whispered as he stepped into the hallway, closing the door softly behind him.
The End
Kate Taylor