Porkcow Batter

Ok so this is my first ever fanfic. I came up with the idea at like 3 in the morning and i got to college the next day, only having one lecture, and just started to write I hope you have as much fun reading this as I did writhing it. Don't be scared to comment or ask questions and hopefully I should upload more stuff soon.

As Zim sat at his computer, the screen reeled clips of the day's events. Zim winced as a clip of him taking a dodge ball to the squidilyspooch played oh how he hated this miserable ball of dirt and germs

"One day" he said, hatred filling his voice "one day i shall rid the universe of this oversized ball of snot. FOR I AM ZIM!" slamming his fist on the keyboard. At that GIR's head popped round the corner, Mimimoose rolled in squeaking excitedly. GIR leapt up onto Zim's head and started to play with Zim's eyelids.

"GIR! Get off my head!" Zim started to fail his arms in an attempt to remove GIR.

"Okie dookie" screeched GIR, in his shrill voice, jumping off and beginning to scratch at the floor. Zim rubbed his now sore eyes, glared at the robot and pouted.

"What did you want anyway GIR?" Zim asked, annoyed by the rude interruption.

"Masta iz made Muffin batter!" GIR smiled up at Zim, reaching into his head he pulled out an inflatable paddling pool filled with a cream coloured slop. Zim face palmed and shook his head.

"Exactly how much of that stuff did you make?" his voice drained of all enthusiasm I'm getting to old for this.

"Just enough to cover Mary's big head!"

Zim smirked, no matter how his deranged SIR unit irritated him he had to love how he treated the Dib human.

"Ha-ha. I think you may need another pool to cover that hippo sized head of his."

"Hey my heads not big!" Zim and GIR looked around, trying to locate the source of the shout. Suddenly there was a cry and squishing noise as Dib belly flopped into the pool of muffin batter.

"Dib-Stink! How dare you enter the base of Zim! Why on Irk are you here? TELL ME!" Dib pulled himself out of the goo filled pool and looked down at his ruined trench coat.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm here for the muffins, GIR told me that you were having a baking party and I couldn't help but gate crash." Zim shot GIR a look the screamed you are SOOO dead after this! Minimoose floated over to Dib and began to squeak loudly to which GIR replied by leaping up at Dib licking the mixture out of his signature scythe like cowlick. Dib franticly tried to swat the robot away, Minimoose floated into Dibs head getting stuck over one of the boys eyes. Zim's eyes flared fire as he seized GIR by what would have been the scruff of his neck and ripped Minimoose off Dibs face and threw the pair of them into the wall.

"Nobody licks the Dib but ZIM!" Dibs eyes grew wide and a deep pink flooded his face WTF? Did he just say only he can lick me?

"um Zim did you just say you wanted to LICK me?" Zim pivoted to face Dib, one non- existent eyebrow raised in curiosity.

"Zim said only he COULD lick the batter Dib not WANT to." Folding his arms in disgust stupid human. He must have pork cow batter in his ears. Dib looked down, disappointed expression, hands behind his back, swaying back and forth like an embarrassed school boy in front of the head.

"Oh cause I wouldn't really mind a bit of help getting this stuff off..." He looked up at Zim, blush deepening and a sheepish smile on his face. Zim on the other hand felt physically sick at the thought, gagging, he grabbed Dib by the neck of his batter covered trench coat and threw him into the garbage shoot. Dib screamed as he was sucked up through the pipes and thrown out into the street. Zim opened the door, disguise now on, shaking his fist at Dib.

"And stay out you homo!"

The End.