Disclaimer: I do not own High School Musical and I am far too lazy to make up some witty quip stating so.
A/N: Ok, so this is like the third time I've put out this story and I am sure people on my alert list are pissed...which is like 50 people...ugh, but each time I put it out something is wrong with I guess third time is the charm. This is for round two of the weekly writing contest. I chose prompt three, which is basically supposed to be a heart to heart between Sharpay and Ryan. Well here is my entry. I hope you enjoy! Cheers and Much Love!
Danielle
Fighting
She props herself stiffly up against the metal headboard, her fingers folding together in what she assumes to be a pristine gesture but is really just a way to keep her hands from shaking. Her hair falls loosely over her shoulders and strands of gold hang out of place and awkward among her usually perfectly groomed head. Her face is pale and her eyes are dark from hours of restless nights and days of living in a world that she has stopped trying to escape, but her head is pulled upward in a show of dignity. She is the picture of everything she wants to be and everything she'll never be all at once and she doesn't know whether to laugh or cry at the realization of the fact.
He sits across from her and waits, dreading her words and wishing to hear nothing else but.
"I'm feeling much better today." Her voice is cracked and she strains to clear away the lump in her throat that she didn't know existed until that moment. He smiles weakly at her and leans over to take her hand in his.
She shies away, looking almost startled by his close proximity, and the painful tugging in his heart comes back with a familiarity all its own.
"I'm glad." Is all he can manage to say and she turns away from him to stare at the molded and dusty window, in what he assumes is disinterest.
No words are said for a long while and his fingers tap restlessly against his clothed knee. He doesn't know what to say to her, nor does he ever know. She's supposed to be the strong twin. This isn't how things are supposed to work, and that leaves him at a lost for any type of words that could even begin to make it all seem better.
"I'm lying." Her words are like ice cutting through the air, like the ice that everyone assumes is around her heart. Idiots.
"I know." And he does know. He's known for months now that 'better' is always a lie.
Her fingers grip the dull sheets that are covering her body. Her eyes turn away from him for the hundredth time that day and she takes in the pale walls that she has become so accustomed to.
"I hate this place." She states shortly and the disgust in her voice is almost a reminder of what she used to be like and he used to dread hearing that voice, but now he wants nothing more than to roll his eyes at her snooty gestures and nudge her playfully like he used to.
"Then leave." His tone is almost pleading, stronger than he had hoped for and weaker than he could have ever imagined.
Her laugh is bitter, abrupt and cruel against the fragility of her own ears and she shocks not only her brother but herself as well.
"Don't you know anything, Ryan? I can't leave here." She says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world and for some reason, the resolve that he has held all these months evaporates the instant her words leave her cracked lips.
"Why not, Sharpay?" She jumps at the sharpness of his voice, her hands raising to her ears like a child caught in the middle of a fight between her parents, over money or who gets her on weekends, or some seemingly meaningless shit like that. "Dammit, you can leave here. You can leave anytime you want. You just choose not to, Sharpay. You can't just let things go."
"Shut up, Ryan." She trembles, her head shaking back in forth, and he fights the urge to care, even though not caring is a skill he never possessed around her.
"I've done that for long enough. I've sat and watched as you've rotted away in this God forsaken hospital and the entire time I've kept my mouth shut, but I can't do it anymore."
"You don't know what it's like!" Her tone is one to rival his own and soon a nurse is drawn by their shouts, but both siblings dismiss her in a heat of disinterest, promptly telling her to 'mind her own damn business.' The young intern is startled and does as she is told.
"He was my father too, Sharpay! I may not have seen him die. I may not of been in the car, but he was my father too."
"I watched him take his last breath, Ryan." Her tone is abruptly soft, startling him greater than any scream ever could. Her eyes glaze over slightly in remembrance and he recognizes this look. She was leaving him behind again to be lost in her own world of pain and past regrets. She says his name but he doesn't even know if she realizes that he's there anymore.
"Don't, Sharpay-"
"I watched him struggle, and beg for the pain to stop…"
"God-" The tears are falling from his eyes openly now as he watches the girl that he can barely recognize anymore.
"There was so much blood. So much." She focuses on the sickly green wall behind his head and her expression is haunted.
"Don't do this, Sharpay."
"I watched him die-"
"And I watched you die along with him!" She looks at him suddenly and he thanks anyone who is listening that she seems to realize that he is still there.
"What did you say?" She looks confused, like words are something that she couldn't even begin to comprehend.
"When he died, so did you." He tries to keep his voice steady and fails miserably in doing so. She looks at him for a long moment as if trying to figure out what to say. And all it takes is a moment, all it takes is a look in his pleading eyes and she breaks. And it hurts him to see the tears roll down her pale cheeks but at least it's something.
"Ryan," His name leaves her lips in cry of anguish that no girl of seventeen should ever posses, and in a matter of seconds he crawls into the small, uncomfortable bed to hold the shaking and sobbing girl. Sharpay Evans. His sister.
The position in which he holds her is uncomfortable to say the least, but he finds that he couldn't really care less.
"I don't know what to do, Ryan. I see him all the time. In my dreams, while I'm awake. I know he's not really there, but I see him anyways."
"You have to fight this, Sharpay." He says through gritted teeth.
"I can't-"
"Never say those words to me again." His voice is firm. "You used to scream at me for hours if I ever dared say 'I can't', I expect the same from you."
"Ryan-"
"No. You have to fight this. If not for yourself, do it for me, because I need you, Sharpay. You're strong enough to fight, so fight for me."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She buries her head in the crook of his neck and he wonders if the wetness that he feels is from her tears or his own.
"Don't be sorry, Sharpay, just come back to me."
She pulls away from him suddenly, her eyes are tired and yet he sees a will behind them that he thought was lost long ago.
"I love you, Ryan." She says, her voice barely above a whisper. At her words a small smile tugs his lips and he pulls her to him once more. They're just three simple words and yet they mean more than anyone could ever possibly imagine.
"You have no idea, sis. God, you have no idea."
He holds her for hours after that, whispering things that mean everything and nothing all rolled into one. And for the first time in months there is a glimmer of hope that for once when she says 'better' she will actually mean better, because he needs his sister back, and she needs him as well. She is his hope and he is her rock, and for those hours, that is all that mattered.