Title: Lost Without You (1/around10)
Pairing: Faberry
Rating: PG-13 just to be safe
Length: 1098
Summary: Rachel and Quinn were best friends their entire lives until the day Quinn told her how she really felt. It will eventually have major spoilers for the first 13 episodes, because pretty much everything that happened there between them will happen here.
Disclaimer: Don't own Glee or anything really.

A/N: Don't have a beta, English is not my native language and I have no idea how to write the character of Rachel Berry. But if you like this chapter stick with me and at least it'll be fun to read =) Reviews would probably help me go faster. I have everything in my mind, just gotta write it down. Enjoy!
Side note: This fic is completely dedicated to glori_ficus. I love you, girl, you rock my world.

Chapter 1

"I love you" Those three little words fucked up my life. "I love you" was that so hard NOT to say? Yes, I couldn't keep it to myself anymore so I had to say it, the words got out of my mouth before I even realized it.

You see, it happened a year and a half ago, we were about to start our freshman year and were so excited. 'We' as in Rachel and me. Yes, this might come as a shock to you but we were best friends, for as long as I can remember. I honestly don't remember anything before her, because we were 3 years old when we met. And I can't think of any important moment of my life that she hasn't been a part of.

When we were little girls we played always at her house. We dressed up, we sang and danced. When she was sad or upset about something I used to bake her cookies and hug her to sleep. When I was sad or upset, she sang to me, that girl's voice will always put a smile on my face. We watched movies, musicals and TV shows together. We performed (sang, danced and acted) every year for her parents around Christmas (we celebrated Chrismukkah after The OC went on the air).

She was there for me when my grandfather died, I was there for her when her grandparents –Louis' parents- rejected her (the first and the second time) because they'd still didn't approve of their son's "choice". And we were there for all the happy moments too. You get the idea. No, I didn't live at her house, but I might as well had. But that's a story for another time.

We were kids when she called me Quinnie for the first time, a little bit after that she realized it sounded a lot like Winnie and began to call me Quinnie the Pooh "am I that fat?" I ask laughing. "Nope, you're also blonde" was her six-year-old logic. I didn't really like the nickname at first, but with time it was Quinnie Pooh or just Quinnie and I loved it, because it was her name for me.

We were looking at the sky one night and Sam (Rachel's other dad) was showing us the stars and constellations. When he got to Orion, our eyes went right to the red star. "Rigel" he said. We were 8 years old and found it funny how it sounded a lot like Rachel. We couldn't stop saying both names and laugh. But when we did stop, and her dad went on talking, I whispered to her "Rigel is actually pretty and a star, just like you are". She, being Rachel Berry even at 8, turned to me and say firmly "I am not a star yet, but yes, thank you, I will be someday, I will be the Rigel of Earth". I chuckled. "Yes, you will. But you already are my Rigel". She smiled that beautiful smile of hers and that was it. I was her Quinnie Pooh and she was my Rigel.

So we grew up together and when puberty came I pretty much began to feel something more for her. When I was a kid I liked boys, but ever since I found out what a lesbian was, I wondered what would happened if I were one, and I doubted every time I liked a girl as a friend. This was the only thing about me that my best friend never knew. Not because I was scared at her reaction or anything, she's got two dads after all, and she really is open minded. But I guess, deep down, part of me always knew the truth and that part was scared to death that she'd found that I was into her.

Because Rigel never had that problem, at least she never mentioned it. She was sure she was straight, even though she always ended up saying she didn't believe in labels. This actually gave me hope.

So I started to convince myself that she might, maybe, perhaps, somehow, be feeling the same way I was.

And that day, the night before we began High School… we were in her bedroom laughing hysterically at a random joke when my brain stopped working and my mouth let the "I love you" escape. It would've been ok, it would have been perfectly fine because friends love each other, but I froze. She kept laughing and I was seeing everything in slow motion, hearing absolutely nothing. Until suddenly it hit her and she wasn't laughing anymore, she was staring. Staring at me like she was trying to see the wall behind me, trying to look right through me. Fear all over her face. I couldn't breathe.

"You… you love me? You're in love with me?" she was whispering and her voice broke for a second there.

My answer should've been quick… "as a friend" I should've said… "as a friend" geez, it wasn't THAT hard, everybody lies so why wouldn't I?… but it was hard at that moment. Because, as I said, my brain wasn't working, so I said absolutely nothing, which gave her the truth.

"I'm sorry" I finally said, crying. I got up and try to leave but her hand stopped me. I could swear she was about to cry but hold back and compose herself, she kept looking at me and I kept crying like a baby, so desperate, so embarrassed. "Ri- Rach, I am so sorry" I tried to reach out to her, tried to put my hand in her shoulder but she backed off quickly, too quickly, like I was going to hurt her or something. She looked down and never looked back up. We were sitting like that for at least an hour, she'd never been silent for that long in her entire life, and I'd never cried non-stop for that long.

Finally I was tired of crying and just wanted to go home so I stood up and walked to the door. But Rachel stopped me and hugged me like there was no tomorrow and I swallowed hard. I would have stayed in her arms forever, but she broke hug and went back to sit in her bed so I left.

And there was no tomorrow. Because that was the last time we hugged, the last time we spoke to each other, nicely that is. That was the time I lost my best friend. And right there in that bedroom I left a big part of my heart.