Okay so I just read about Baby Katy's death story line and wanted to write a One shot for Sinead & Freddie during their grieving
Hope you like :)
Sinead & Freddie
Rebuilding a heart
The cold winter air thrashed at Sinead's bare neck as she rushed home,
She'd been working all night at the hospital cleaning,
another night of avoiding Freddie; It's all they did these days, Sinead would work all hours while he slept at the garage or on his mum's sofa.
Walking into their own flat Sinead looked around the living room, Images of Katy covered every wall.
Maybe it was weird to have your home filled with images of your dead daughter but for her it brought comfort, Something she hadn't received in a long time.
She couldn't sleep, couldn't eat and if she did it would just end up down the toilet.
Sinead quickly rushed to her bedroom to change into her pajamas and dressing gown; Her eyes widened at the sight before her.
Freddie snuggled up to Katy's teddy, Sinead knew he loved Katy like she was his own he'd proved it enough times but the image of him wrapped up in their sheets with the one connection she had to Katy brought tears to her eyes.
Slipping out of her work clothes Sinead threw on her pajamas and climbed into bed facing Freddie,
one hand resting on the bear and another resting on his cheek.
Startled Freddie opened his eyes to find her beside him
"Hey, How long you been home?" He asked.
A small smile appeared on Sinead's lips "Not long"
Freddie watched as Sinead griped the teddy to her chest, holding it tightly not willing to let it go.
Slowly his had reached for her hip to pull her towards him, She moved willingly resting her head against his chest.
"I didn't expect you home" She whispered softly, her voice cracking as she tried not to release any more tears.
"I'm sick of lying on my mums sofa or in the back of a strangers car, I wanted to be in my bed and wait for my wife"
A small smile crept up on Sinead's lips, She was always grateful for Freddie.
Sinead didn't get dolled up as much anymore, She'd rather sit on the sofa watching a sappy romance so she had a good excuse to cry but Freddie had insisted on a night out.
"I don't like this dress" She complained throwing yet another dress on the bed as she stood in front of the full length mirror.
"You aren't going out in a onesie Babe" Freddie's head poked around the door frame watching her rest her hands on her nearly naked body,
her hands resting on her stomach that once held stretch marks from her pregnancy with Katy,
Now she had nothing.
No baby to show for it.
"You could always go out like that" Freddie murmured as he stood behind her wrapping his arms around her waist resting them on her own hands
"I look ugly in everything, I have these hideous marks.." Freddie spun her around lifting her head with his hand
"You always look beautiful Mrs Roscoe. Come on, Let's find you something to wear" He looked at the pile of clothes scattered across their bed.
Walking into the Dog, she felt the gaze's from the people she knew,
They once believed she'd harmed her perfect baby girl but once she announced to them all that Katy had an undiagnosed heart condition they sympathized and pitied her, She refused to take any of it.
"What can I get you both?" Darren asked from behind the bar looking at his half brother and Sister in law.
"Just a coke for me please" Sinead said easily.
Freddie was worried, Her behavior had worsened the past few months since Katy's death.
He hated not being able to fix it; to help heal her broken heart.
Although Katy wasn't his own child he felt her grief;
Not only because Katy was his step daughter but because he wished somebody had listened to her pleading Lindsey especially,
her own pain over Joe's disappearance and her abortion clouded her judgement but she wouldn't accept responsibility for it.
Once Joe returned Lindsey had to explain the abortion breaking his heart,
He was distraught that she could so easily kill their child.
Lindsey was distraught when Joe told her he couldn't look at her because he'd just see the image of his dead unborn child.
Despite Freddie and Sinead's lie to cover up Joe's 'Death' Freddie felt no sympathy for her.
He'd fallen out of love with her during Sinead's hardest time,
He saw how vulnerable his wife was,
They'd supported Lindsey after her abortion;
Yet she'd not batted an eyelash to help Sinead during her struggle.
"You going to drink that babe?" Freddie said pointing to Sinead's full glass of coke.
"Yeah" Sinead said lifting the glass to her mouth taking a small mouthful, Her stomach wrenched as the cold fizzy liquid reached her stomach.
She shot up from her seat rushing into the ladies rest room.
"Sinead! You okay?" Sinead sat quietly on the stool ignoring the voice hoping it would disappear, that she could disappear.
"Come on Babe. I'll take you home if you want, Get a movie and some chips" The mention of food caused the bile to rise to the surface again.
The door unlocked a red eyed Sinead revealing herself to her husband
"I just want to go home" she sobbed.
A small smile tugged at his lips
"If that's what you want babe" She nodded her head as he reached out his hand to pull her towards him.
Sinead sat in the cold bath water, her knees to her chest.
Her eyes flickered to the foreign object on the sink,
her mind lost in the memory of the little girl that stole and broke her heart; She'd promised Katy everything once.
She thought about ending her life countless times but Freddie somehow always pulled her back,
He would hold onto her tightly and beg her not to leave him.
Despite the fear of her precious baby girl alone in the darkness somewhere in the coldness of death,
Freddie's warm, beating heart always won the battle.
They'd put it down to attention before well here she was begging for attention,
Diane had ignored her pleas but Tony knew what it felt like,
He'd lost his daughter Grace to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome,
He tried to reach out for her and in the beginning it worked but now she seemed even more alone.
A bang on the door broke her from her thoughts
"I'll be out soon" she called out to Freddie glancing at the object again;
She could do it, The barrier between her and Freddie would no longer be there.
Standing in the bath tub she reached for her towel wrapping it around her.
Freddie looked down at the sleeping angel laid across his lap, She looked peaceful.
He gently lifted her head so he could climb of the sofa,
He grabbed a blanket from the airing cupboard and threw it over her a smile forming on his lips as he stroked a stray strand of hair from her eyes.
Walking into the bathroom he spotted something staring at him on the sink,
He was shocked to say the least, He never expected it.
A glimmer of doubt clouded his mind, Was this why she hated herself,
Is this why she was always crying.
Gripping the object carefully in his hand he stormed into the living room
"Sinead! Wake up" The sound of her name jolted her,
She turned to see Freddie holding the object in his hand
"Was you going to tell me?"
Pulling herself up she nodded "I didn't know how"
looking at her saddened expression he rushed to sit beside her
"Why? I thought we were a team" Sinead looked at his perfect eyes as his lips trembled
"I don't want you to have to worry about it" She sighed pushing herself to stand from the sofa
"No" Freddie said griping her wrist and pulling her back down beside him,
He rested his hands on either side of her face
"What we've been through. What you've been through these past months I can't begin to understand but this, I want this as much as you.. That's if you want it?"
Sinead's eyes landed on the object between them
"I don't know" she whispered.
Freddie's hand released Sinead's face as it moved to her stomach gently while his eyes stayed on hers.
"This doesn't mean we'll forget Katy; This means learning to move on"
Sinead closed her eyes for a moment as the sadness she felt from her discovery washed away
"We're pregnant. We're really pregnant" She repeated softly.
A small chuckle escaped Freddie's lips "Yeah Babe we're really pregnant."
The positive test between them giving them a glimmer of hope in the darkness.
Feedback Welcome!