Rayna's heart was breaking as she followed her girls out of the jail. She'd wanted to help Daphne and she'd thought that seeing Teddy would do that. She really hadn't expected him to essentially tell her that he was guilty of what he'd been accused of. A part of her was furious with her ex-husband. That had gone very poorly and, if anything, it had made it worse. Just before they exited the room, she'd looked back and glared at Teddy. To his credit, he'd looked contrite and lowered his head. But she had no time for him at this moment; it was her girls she was worried about.
Daphne got in the back seat and stared out the window, her arms crossed over her chest, her eyes red. Instead of getting in the front, Maddie got in on the other side and slid over to put her arms around her sister. Just this once, Rayna decided not to make a big deal out of the fact that Maddie didn't have her seatbelt on. Daphne didn't move, but she could see that her younger daughter had relaxed a bit in Maddie's arms. She knew Maddie hadn't wanted to go, had said defiantly over and over that she had no interest in going, and she'd certainly showed that, basically ignoring her father.
Maybe she should have expected that. Maddie had shown little interest in Teddy's predicament, focusing all her attention on Deacon. More often than not, she'd find Maddie curled up under Deacon's arm as they sat on the couch, watching TV, or in the music room, while Maddie played her guitar and sang as Deacon gave her feedback. Rayna herself had focused most of her attention on Deacon's recovery and supporting him in the aftermath of Beverly's situation. She felt like she'd missed the clues she should have seen regarding how Daphne was dealing with Teddy's imprisonment. She'd been so shocked when the school had called her to tell her Daphne had hit one of her classmates. That was so not like her happy-go-lucky youngest and her heart had hurt for her daughter's obvious pain and confusion.
As they drove home, Rayna periodically peered at the girls in the rear view mirror. Maddie was gently rubbing Daphne's arm and Daphne had finally leaned back a little against her sister's shoulder. Rayna knew Maddie was angry. She hadn't wanted to go at all and she could see her turmoil as she'd watched Daphne's meltdown. Rayna hated to see Daphne's heart broken over all this. She had no idea how to fix it.
When they got home, the girls ran upstairs. She started to go after them, but she thought they probably needed a little space. She sat at the kitchen island and pulled out her phone to call Deacon. The call went to voice mail and she just left a brief message. She guessed he was still at the hospital with Scarlett. She sighed deeply. Too many bad things were happening all at once. She'd hated leaving him, with Beverly's fate in the balance. When she'd had to leave the hospital, the doctors were in with Beverly, checking to see what had happened.
Her phone vibrated. It was Deacon. "Hey, babe," she answered. "How's Beverly?"
She sat with her arms around her waist, feeling like she'd been kicked in the gut. She had no idea, in that moment, how she was going to be able to take care of her daughters and Deacon at the same time. She could hardly understand him as he tried telling her what was happening with Beverly. His emotions were all over the map and he struggled not to break down completely as he told her what the doctors had told him and Scarlett. He was frantic to try to keep Scarlett from taking Beverly off life support and he kept repeating over and over that there was still a chance.
When she'd hung up the phone, she'd leaned on her elbows, rubbing her temples with her fingers. She took several deep breaths, trying to focus her thoughts on what to do next. She knew he felt guilty and she knew he would have trouble letting Beverly go and she wasn't sure how to help him accept that it was time. He wasn't good at this kind of thing. Never had been and still wasn't. When things get tough, you just step away. She had to help him see that he couldn't do that this time.
She also had to deal with the fallout from the visit with Teddy. As she tried to prioritize in her mind how to handle these two traumatic events in the lives of the people she loved most, she realized that first she needed to make sure her girls were taken care of. At least Deacon had Scarlett, even though it seemed they were not in complete agreement on the next steps with Beverly. The only person her girls had was her, and she needed to help them figure out how to navigate this. Why did this have to happen all at once? She closed her eyes and silently prayed for strength.
She sighed and pushed herself up on the counter and stepped off the stool. Then she headed up the stairs.
As she walked down the hall, she didn't hear any voices, just faint noises she couldn't place. As she came up on Daphne's room, she saw the girls standing over a table, intent on something. Until she walked up on them, she didn't realize what they were doing, but then she saw that they were ripping up paper. She frowned. "What are you two…." Then she realized they were tearing up pictures. "What are you doing?" she cried. "You can't just go and rip up our scrapbooks. This is…this is our family. This is our history!" She felt sick to her stomach and tears came to her eyes. The girls looked uncomfortable. She looked back and forth between them. "You don't just go ripping up pictures. I don't care how angry you are at your father!"
Maddie threw her head back and screwed up her face. "He's not my father!" she shouted. She glared at Rayna and then ran out of the room. Rayna looked briefly at Daphne, who was starting to tear up, then turned and stormed out.
Rayna followed Maddie down the hall to her room. Maddie tried to shut the door, but Rayna pushed hard against it. Maddie rushed over to her bed and flounced down on it, crossing her arms over her chest and scowling. Rayna stood next to the bed, her hands on her hips, tears filling her eyes.
"I can't believe you did that," she said, her voice deceptively quiet. "And let your sister do it too. What were you thinking?"
Maddie raised up her chin, looking cooly at her mother. "He's an embarrassment. To both Daphne and me. You know that," she said.
Rayna looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath, then looked back at her daughter. "I know it's a hard situation, Maddie. Trust me, I know exactly what you're feeling." She thought back on the time when Lamar had been arrested and thrown in jail. Even though her relationship with her father had been tenuous, at that time, it had felt a lot like she thought Maddie was feeling now. "But he is your father."
Maddie got up off the bed and walked towards her closet. "He's not my father. Deacon's my father."
Rayna stormed over to her and grabbed her by the arm, turning Maddie to face her. She frowned. "Maddie, he's the father that raised you. No matter what the circumstances or where we are today, Teddy Conrad loves you just like you were his own. And he raised you, all your life, like you were his own. There was no difference, in his eyes. You may not want to believe this, but you owe him a lot, for being a good father to you. For loving you and taking care of you and protecting you." Her voice was firm, her eyes flashing. "Yes, Deacon is your father too, but you can't just wipe away the family we had. You can't just pick and choose a father when you feel like it. Teddy Conrad will always be your father, Maddie."
Maddie breathed out, looking down towards the floor. Then she looked back at her mother with tears in her eyes. "He didn't think about us, about Daphne and me, when he did all those things," she cried angrily. "Didn't he care that it would hurt us?"
Rayna pulled her daughter into her arms. "He does care, sweet girl," she said, her voice soothing, as she rubbed Maddie's arm. "I just think he got caught up in something before he realized what it was." She stepped back, holding Maddie at arms' length and looking at her with compassion. "But he needs you and your sister, all of us, really, to support him. He didn't mean to hurt any of us. And he loves you and Daphne, more than anything. It would hurt him so much if you turned away from him."
Maddie crossed her arms over her chest and scowled. "Doesn't it bother you that he did this? Doesn't it make you angry?" she asked.
Rayna took a deep breath, then nodded. "It does make me angry, Maddie," she said. "But it also makes me sad. Because he was a good man and a good father and he took good care of us for a long time. I couldn't have picked a better father for you and he did a good job at it. And he was a good husband and provider for our family, in a lot of different ways. That's what I have to remember. And I want you and Daphne to remember that too." Her heart ached as a tear rolled down Maddie's cheek. "Don't give up on him, sweetie."
Maddie took a deep breath and then looked back at her mother, a mulish look on her face. "Deacon's my dad. I don't need another dad," she said, although tears were streaking down her face and her tone wasn't so intractable anymore.
Rayna took her hand, looking at her daughter with understanding. "Maddie, he loves you and you can never have too many people love you," she said gently. "You and I can argue about all of that history until the end of time, but he was there to help you learn to tie your shoes and ride a bike. He sat with you when you were sick and went to your soccer games and school activities. He never loved you less because you weren't his biological daughter. You were his the moment you were born. And you can't erase all those years, just because you want to. You can be mad at him, and I get that, I really do. But don't say he's not your dad. He'll always be your dad."
Maddie's eyes were full of sorrow as she listened to Rayna. Then she moved to hug her mom and Rayna wrapped her arms around her daughter and they just stood together as Maddie cried on her shoulder.
The next morning, as Rayna was drinking coffee, Deacon walked in the back door after being by Beverly's side at the hospital all night. The pain on his face broke her heart as she turned to look at him. She put down her coffee mug and walked over to him, taking him in her arms. He held her tightly, burying his face in her hair. "How you doing, babe?" she asked softly.
He stepped back and looked down at her, running one hand over her hair, then resting it on her shoulder. "I don't know," he said, his eyes red with unshed tears.
When they'd talked the night before, he'd told her about Scarlett's decision. She knew he was opposed to it and she didn't quite know what to expect, what to say, how to comfort him. "What are you going to do?" she asked, running her hand over his cheek.
He bit his lip lightly and looked up towards the ceiling, shaking his head. "I just…I don't know," he said quietly. He swallowed hard and then looked at her. "How are things here?"
She shrugged. "I guess we'll see this morning. Now that they've had time to sleep on it all." She sighed. "I get that they're upset and it's hard, but we're family. We can't give up on each other." She looked up at him, letting him know with her eyes that she meant far more than just Teddy, Maddie, and Daphne.
He nodded and took a deep breath. "It'll all work out, Ray," he said. "You know that."
She put her arms around his waist and stepped a little closer to him. "We're gonna go see Teddy again today. We talked about it last night. I think it's the right thing to do. We need to fix this," she said.
He ran his hand over the back of her head and then lightly grazed her cheek with his thumb. "Sounds like a good idea." He leaned in and kissed her softly.
She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair. He looked tired and drained. "What are you gonna do, babe?" she asked again.
He took a deep breath. "I'm just gonna stay here for now. I got some thinking to do."
"Will you go back to the hospital?" When they had talked the night before, he'd sounded so bitter and angry, but now he seemed almost resigned. She hoped he'd decided to be there, to support Scarlett.
He shrugged. "I don't know what I'm gonna do, Ray. I just don't." He looked so forlorn and she felt a chill run up her spine. She worried about what this would do to him. She wished she didn't have the mess with Teddy and the girls to work through so she could be by his side. He raised his eyebrows at her. "I'll be okay," he said, as though he knew what she'd been thinking. "You need to do this."
She leaned in then, resting her head on his chest, and he wrapped her up in his arms. "I'm sorry, babe," she said.
He kissed her on the forehead, then stepped back, taking her hand. He led her over to the den and they sat together, their arms wrapped around each other, not saying a word, just taking comfort in being together. She laid her hand on his heart and looked up at him. He leaned down and kissed her, then wrapped his arms more tightly around her. This would be a difficult day for both of them and it felt good to know they would not have to face any of it alone.