It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single young ninja in possession of great power, prestige, and fortune must be in want of a kunoichi bride.

However little is known about the feelings of said kunoichi in settling down or the readiness of said ninja in starting a family, this truth is so fixed in the minds of the surrounding families that such a ninja on entering a hidden village is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.

"Kakashi," said Tsunade to her husband one day, "Have you not heard the news that Old Sarutobi's house is let at last?"

The Hatake made no answer, too busy reading his orange book.

"Do you want to know who has taken it?" cried the Senju impatiently.

"Aa," Kakashi answered, turning to see the next page of his stimulating literature and giggled.

Tsunade's eyebrow twitched. "Put that book away before I burn it!" she yelled, slamming her hand on a table and breaking it.

"Yare, yare, that's the third table you've broken this week," Kakashi put his book away.

"Anyway," Tsunade growled, "Apparently Jiraiya's student ran down on Monday to see the place and was so delighted with it that he agreed with Asuma immediately and is to take possession before next month and some of his servants are to be in by the end of the week."

"Is Jiraiya to come with him?"

"Thank God no!"

"Then why are you so excited? I thought his student married his niece."

"That's the older Uzumaki! The younger, the one who is coming, is unmarried. He's Minato's son, too, and heir to the Namikaze fortune! What a fine thing for our girls!"

"How so? How can it affect them?"

"Kakashi, you must know that I am thinking of his marrying one of them!"

"I thought that you wanted our girls to marry for love?"

"Well, they have to be married off before you die. Otherwise they will have no protection at all."

"They'll have your brother and his friend."

"Hidan and Kakuzu have no fortune of their own and Kakuzu is greedy enough to sell them off to some brothel. Regardless, Minato and Kushina were good people so I'm sure that their son will be just as fine a young man. You will go visit him as soon as he comes."

"I see no reason for that. You and the girls may go, or you may send them by themselves, which perhaps will be better, for you are as pretty as any of them, Uzumaki Naruto may like you best of the party."

"You flatter me. I certainly have had my share of beauty, but I do not pretend to be anything extraordinary now. When a woman has three grown up daughters, she ought to give over thinking of her own beauty."

"I wonder why you should still use your genjutsu then."

Tsunade ignored this in favor of continuing in her plea. "But you must still go to see the Uzumaki when he comes."

"It is too troublesome."

"You sound like that damnable Nara! Kakashi, our girls need this. They need to be introduced to find upstanding nin now so that they can fall in love and find safe homes and they cannot go until you go."

"You are over scrupulous surely. I'm sure Naruto-kun would be happy to meet you; and I will send a letter assuring him of my hearty consent of his choosing any one of my daughters; though I must throw in a good word for Sakura."

"I wish you would not. Hinata is far more gentle and Hanabi far more regal. Sakura is as wild as I was and it will take an extraordinary ninja to tame her. It would probably require someone with the same genius as one of those mysterious Akatsuki friends of Kakuzu and Hidan. I do not know if Uzumaki, who is known to be one of the kind jinchuuriki, can handle her."

"You forget, my Lady, that the jinchuuriki are known to be demons on the battlefield." Kakashi took out his book once more.

"You will still go, then?"

"Nope."

"Kakashi! You take too much delight in vexing me! You have no compassion for our poor daughters' future!"

"On the contrary, I have a high respect for their future. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these eighteen years at least."

"Ah! You do not know how I worry!"

"But I hope you relax and we both live to see many young, powerful, and rich nin come into the neighborhood."

"It shouldn't matter if twenty such come if you will not visit them."

"Depend upon it, Tsunade, when there are twenty, I will visit them all."

"Oh!" she cried in frustration as she fled the room to destroy a clearing outside, leaving the giggling Kakashi behind to his afternoon reading.

Kakashi was so odd a mixture of quick parts, sarcastic humor, reserve, and caprice, that the experience of three and twenty years was not enough for his wife to understand his character. Her mind, luckily, was not too simple. She was a woman of much medical knowledge, monstrous strength, and uncertain temper. When she became enraged there were likely to be earthquakes whose vibrations invigorated her husband and frightened any new neighbors. The business of her life was to get her daughters married; its solace was gambling and sake.

Please R&R with any suggestions for casting.