Characters: Kenpachi, Ikkaku, Nemu
Summary: In my defense, she started it.
Pairings: Ikkaku x Nemu
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Timeline: None
Author's Note: Wouldn't this just be so wonderful?
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.
Personally, Kenpachi isn't entirely sure he wants to know why Ikkaku is suddenly evincing a far greater interest in visiting the Twelfth Division's labs than usual; he already has a rough idea but is ignorant of the whole thing. In fact, he's probably better off not knowing. However, what's reached his attention makes him curious, so Kenpachi's going to take the plunge anyway.
He knows he'll regret it later, though. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but sometime soon, he will.
"You seem to be enjoying your extracurricular activities," Kenpachi remarks with a voice just barely shadowed with sarcasm, taking a swig from his sake bottle and not looking at Ikkaku.
They're both leaning against a wall at a fairly secluded street in the Eleventh's barracks, at the point in sundown where it's just starting to get dark. Off a little to the left, if Kenpachi strains a bit he can hear two revelers, a man and a woman, victorious after battle. Good. It's good to keep morale up.
Ikkaku, to his credit, doesn't immediately crack up under the pressure Kenpachi is just beginning to exert. He barely evinces anything beyond a mild interest in what his captain's quizzing him about. "I'm branching out a little, taicho. It's been… interesting."
Kenpachi skips a beat. So this is how Ikkaku's going to justify things—technically it's not a lie but Ikkaku's being evasive and they both know it. Kenpachi supposes that it'll probably at least be worth the effort of dragging the truth out of him, if nothing else. And if this doesn't work, siccing Yachiru on him will. That always works.
"If you call running around the Twelfth delivering bodies—dead and not so dead—fun, then yeah, I guess it has been interesting for you, Ikkaku."
Then, plainly having prepared for this moment (the moment Ikkaku no doubt thinks will be of his messy demise—not that Kenpachi has any idea why he thinks he's going to die over something like this), Ikkaku squeezes his eyes shut and sucks in a deep breath before launching in. "In my defense, sir, she started it."
Kenpachi raises an eyebrow, and Ikkaku finally shows some sign of alarm, realizing that he's dug himself in perhaps a little deeper than what was advisable.
"Nemu?"
He winces and shuts his eyes. "Yeah."
Kenpachi snorts, and drains his sake bottle before setting it down on the cobblestones. "What I can see is that you and Nemu getting together involves two things: Great destruction and great mayhem." His lips quirk in a brief, dry smile. "Three things, actually: great chaos, too.
"So, as far as I can tell…" Kenpachi lets his voice trail off, letting Ikkaku stew over it for just a little while. Then, he grins broadly. "…whenever you and Nemu get together, I can expect the body count to go up a Hell of a lot."
Ikkaku nods cautiously.
"Keep up the good work then. Just try not to get on her father's bad side; I'm not going to come to your rescue if he gets you strapped down on a lab table." Kenpachi chooses this moment to walk off, leaving Ikkaku slack-jawed and, at the first, speechless.
"Wow…" he mutters.
Then, small, light footsteps sound from around the corner and Ikkaku greets the newcomer with the ghost of a smile.
"I take it that all went well?" Nemu asks tonelessly, green eyes flashing slightly—just a trick of the light. In reality, she's as calm and even as before, blinking at Ikkaku with slight curiosity.
"Define 'well'."
"You're still alive."
Ikkaku laughs ruefully. "Good point." He levels one eye on her. "Same time tomorrow?"
Nemu nods silently.
His smile widens slightly. "Great."
Zaraki-taicho is right. The body count is going to go up again tomorrow.