Author's note: Reviews are love. =]] Also, I know Bella has straight hair in the books, but I like her with curly hair better! Deal with it.
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to someone else – JK, for starters. I also took some ideas from Conversations with Other Women and Gilmore Girls (I think). Better keep it in here just in case. =P
P.S. I Love You
[[A short story by Mesteria]]
His laugh sounded from across the library and the fury in Bellatrix Black grew. She slumped in her chair, glaring at the back of the brunette's head. She was laughing at something he was saying and then he reached out to touch her. Bella folded her arms over her chest and continued to glare. That bitch was going to get the shit hexed out of her. And Rodolphus… oh, Bella was going to get him, too.
"Be careful or your face might freeze like that," a passing student said. Bella averted her gaze to the student, who was stopped in front of her, blocking her boyfriend and the slut he was flirting with from her view. "Oh, wait, it already has."
"Fuck you," Bella hissed, glaring up at Augustus Rookwood.
Rookwood widened his eyes. "Somebody's got their knickers in a twist," he stated. He glanced over his shoulder and Bella noticed his smirk. "I suppose Rod's got something to do with that."
Bella rolled her eyes. Rookwood sat down opposite of her. "I'm not all hung up on him like everyone thinks I am," she said simply, sitting up in her chair.
Rookwood looked above her, one of his eyebrows raised. "You're making it snow," he said.
Bella's head snapped up and snow fell onto her face. She groaned and blinked then looked back at Rookwood. She attempted to forget about the brunette sitting opposite of Rod. The snow stopped slowly and Bella sighed. She didn't know why she was getting so upset with Rod for flirting with another girl. She didn't like him all the much, but he was a respectable man to have a suitor. That's what her parents had told her when she'd accidentally expressed a subtle interest in him. Now that she had him and everyone approved, she wanted someone else. Or so she thought; she felt a pang of disloyalty when she thought about not really liking him.
Maybe it's not disloyalty, she thought. She peered around Rookwood at glance quickly at Rod; she pouted.
"He'd be stupid to cheat on you," Rookwood said, bringing Bella's attention back to him.
She tried to quickly hide of the look of fear that passed for her pretty, dark features. Why was she fearful? She gently shook her head and gazed at Rookwood. "Has he cheated on me?" she asked in a small voice, tilting her head to the side.
Rookwood smiled. "What would you do if I said 'yes'?" he asked.
Panic took Bella over. He had cheated on her. Wait, no, Rookwood had said if. But why would he play around if it weren't true? Did he like to see her squirm? Was she squirming? She didn't like Rod that much; he was just everything her parents wanted in a man for their eldest daughter. She chewed on her lower lip, the thoughts in her head zipping around. There was the constant nag: why was she worrying? And then that pang she felt every time she thought that.
"He hasn't," Rookwood said, noticing the obvious discomfort she was in.
Bella let out her breath slowly, pretending that everything was fine. She forced a smile. "I may not like him much," she confided, "but that doesn't mean I'd cheat on him. I expect the same behavior for him." She stared intently at Rookwood and he challenged her gaze.
"Why are you with him if you don't like him?" Rookwood finally asked.
Bella's eyebrows shot up. She was surprised at this question. Not to mention with whom she was talking. This sort of conversation was meant to be discussed with her sisters and close friends, not a schoolmate that she only interacted with for schoolwork. Rookwood was always testing his limits, though, especially with girls he knew were unattainable.
Bella smirked, taking advantage of this. She leaned forward across of the table, giving Rookwood a playfully innocent expression.
"Would you prefer it if I was with someone like… you?" she asked. She liked to see him under pressure.
Rookwood swallowed and stared at Bella. His eyes roamed all over her face and then moved downward, but her school robes were covering her cleavage. He looked back up into Bella's dark eyes. She was smirking again.
He put on his game face. "I know you wouldn't be with me," Rookwood stated. He was playing hard to get, but it was true: Bella wouldn't ever choose to be with him. She would actually like to not be with anyone at all, but it was part of her duty to marry a respectable (code for rich and influential) pureblood man and to bear his children, hopefully giving him an heir. "But, flirting isn't cheating, Bella. So, Rod's actions really shouldn't be upsetting you. You should be getting revenge."
Bella thought about Rookwood's words. She twirled them around in her head, warping them to fit her desires. Revenge to Bella could mean anything. She liked the word and liked to test the boundaries of it. She liked the way it tasted on her tongue and how it rolled effortlessly from her pretty mess of a head to her pretty mouth, spilling out into a poem consisted of two syllables. It was sweet; sweet revenge.
Bella peered around Rookwood again to look at Rod and the brunette. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Rookwood open one of his schoolbooks and begin to work. She smirked, but continued to stare at Rod. He was still flirting and the girl was laughing at his jokes. She was a fourth year, Bella knew; what did Rod want from her? Ah, yes: there was only one thing he could possibly want and this girl was too dumb to realize it. Bella liked to tease Rod. Some days, she would completely ignore him. Other days, she would simply allow him to only kiss her cheek. Sometimes she couldn't keep her hands off of him and vice versa.
Other times, they merely kissed good morning and good night. They hadn't gone all the way yet, but they'd come close to it on several occasions. Bella liked to lead Rod on, letting his hands roam over her body and touching her places that she herself had never ventured to touch. She liked the feel of his hand up her skirt, calming resting on the inside of her thigh, slowly rising; and the other hand on the back of her head, grabbing tufts on her black hair and tugging gently while his lips moved hungrily over hers and then along her body. Then, once she knew that he thought he was going to get some, she'd pull back, smirk and walk away.
She had thought Rod had liked her teasing him. She had been wrong. And he was willing to ruin their relationship to score some. She had thought her actions are been affectionate and kept him wanting more.
Bella bit her bottom lip as she stared at Rod, her stomach sinking. Why was she feeling this way? She sighed and then sat back in her chair; Rod hadn't even noticed her worrisome or intense look. In fact, he hadn't even noticed her….
She stared at Rookwood, who was busy scribbling something down. An idea popped into her head. She smirked once more and then slowly lifted her leg and stretched it out, rubbing her leg along Rookwood's. It took him a moment, but he finally paused and then looked up at Bella. She pretended to be distracted.
"Bella?" Rookwood asked softly.
Bella turned her attention back to him, still rubbing his leg slowly with hers. She raised her eyebrows in questioning. She did her best to hide the grin that crept onto her face when she noticed Rookwood's face turn a light pink.
"Your leg…" he said vaguely. Then he reached around the table and grabbed Bella's ankle just as she moved her leg up again. He stared at her, bent at an odd angle, gripping her pale, delicate ankle.
Bella pretended to be embarrassed. "Oh. Sorry, Rookwood," she said quietly. She gently tugged her leg free from his grasp. She stared at him until he bowed his head again, concentrating on his studies. Bella stared at the top of his head and then slowly brought her leg back up to Rookwood's. But, this time, she continued to stare at him.
Rookwood put down his quill and lifted his head. He gazed back at Bella. "Bella," he said slowly.
"Yes, Rookwood?" Bella asked, a smile tugging on the corners of her mouth.
"Would you like to go back to the common room?"
He'd taken the bait; perfect. Bella dropped her leg and grinned. She nodded and stood up, gathering up her books. As her chair scraped along the floor of the library, Rod's head finally popped up. He seemed slightly surprised to see her, but Bella ignored him this time. She looked down at Rookwood and smiled. He stood up and then they headed out of the library together. Bella was aware of eyes on her retreated back; she knew whom they belonged to.
Bella didn't look back at Rod as she followed Rookwood out of the library. She slipped through the door easily, letting it fall shut behind her. She and Rookwood walked silently to the common room. When they reached the common room in the dungeons, it was quiet. There were a few students scattered throughout the room, but no one Bella was really worried about seeing. She dropped her books on the leather sofa then stalked over to the fireplace. She stared into it for several minutes, unaware of anything that was going on in the room except for the fact that she could feel Rookwood's eyes studying her from behind.
When she felt herself growing hot, Bella took her school robes off and turned around to face Rookwood. She walked over to the sofa and sat down beside him, dropping her robe on the floor. She brought her legs up on the couch, crossing them in front of her. Then she reached over Rookwood for her books, pretending to accidentally brush her hand against the bulge that was already resting in his pants.
"Are you taking Potions this year?" Bella asked as she grabbed her Potions book and resumed her normal position. She was in her sixth year at Hogwarts and technically didn't have to take Potions. However, her teachers and parents had encouraged her to continue taking it until she graduated, as she seemed to excel in it.
Bella looked up at Rookwood. He shook his head. "No," he replied. "I barely managed to get an Exceeds Expectations on my OWL's last year."
"Oh," Bella said. She opened her book to her homework assignment. "It's just that… I'm completely lost this year and was looking for someone to help me…." But she wasn't having trouble; she was doing wonderfully in the class. The truth was that she was rusty on flirting. Sure, she flirted and teased Rod all the time, but that was different. She looked at Rookwood with a pout.
He sighed. "I can try to help you…."
Bella smiled. Rookwood leaned toward her, placing his hand on her thigh. He peered into the book, reading over the instructions. Bella stared at the book as well, pretending to read it all. After a few minutes, Rookwood say back up, but kept his hand on Bella's thigh.
"I don't understand," Rookwood said. "It's all written out for you."
Bella frowned. "Yes, but, usually I have to switch the ingredients to make it come out successfully," she explained. She pointed to this certain potion. "I've no idea what to do here." But she really did. She had figured it all out earlier and the new calculations were in her head.
Rookwood's hand slipped up her thigh a little bit. He glanced back at the book then back up into Bella's eyes. He stared at her and she stared back. Slowly, he leaned forward. Bella was aware of his hand sliding under her skirt and edging closer to her sensitive spot. Rookwood's lips were just inches from her own. His eyes were on her lips and she was watching. Just as he leaned in to kiss her, the common room door banged opened. Rookwood jumped and reeled back from Bella, his hand still resting under her skirt.
Bella looked to the door. Rod was standing there, staring at her and Rookwood.
"Bella," Rod's voice boomed across the room.
Bella rolled her eyes and stood up; Rookwood's hand fell from underneath her skirt. Rod glanced at her thigh before locking eyes with her.
"Is there a problem, Rodolphus?" Bella asked coolly, propping her hand on her jutted out hip. Her other arm hung at her side and she tilted her head to the side.
Rod raised his eyebrows and looked around the room. Bella followed his gaze. Everyone in the common room began to pack up their things and scurried from the room, including Rookwood. He gave Rod an apologetic smile as he slipped out of the door. Soon enough, it was just Bella and Rod.
Rod strode toward Bella, stopping directly in front of her. He was taller than she was and a lot stronger. "What was that?" he snapped, glaring.
Bella stared up into his face. Despite his size and strength, she was not afraid of him. "What was what, Roddy, darling?" she asked innocently, reaching up to flick her black curls over her shoulder.
Rod narrowed his eyes. "What were you doing with Rookwood?" he asked.
"He was helping me study," Bella said matter-of-factly.
Rod glanced at the book on the sofa. He leaned down to pick it up. He held it up and his eyebrows went up again. "You needed help with Potions?" he replied.
Bella smiled, but didn't answer him. She reached out for her book, snatching it from Rod's grasp. Then she worked on collecting her other schoolbooks. As she did so, Rod reached down to grabbed her wrist. He held on tightly and pulled her upright.
"Let go of me!" Bella shouted, trying to wrench her wrist free from Rod. He only grasped it harder. Bella stopped fighting and stared up at Rod. He held her arm up and off to the side.
"I asked you a question," Rod sneered dangerously. "You will give me an answer."
"I gave you an answer," Bella shot at him. "You just didn't like what I had to say. Let me go, Rodolphus!"
This time, he did as she requested. He dropped her arm and stood back from her. Bella glared at him. "Jealous?" she snipped.
Rod scoffed. "Of Rookwood?" he asked. "No. Poor choice, I might add."
Bella rolled her eyes. "I suppose a fourth year is a much better choice," she said.
She had been expecting Rod to get upset. While he remained indifferent to her comment, Bella thought she saw a smile tug at the corners of his mouth. It was quickly gone, though and they continued to stare at each other.
"She likes me," Rod said a few minutes later.
Oh, yes; she was definitely getting hexed later on that night. Bella bit in the inside of her cheek, but she didn't say anything. She merely stared up at Rod, her hand back on her hip. She was slowly building her wall up.
"I sort of like her, too," Rod went on and Bella's stomach fell. But she didn't let on. Men, she had learned from her mother, were allowed to like other girls, flirt with them and sometimes even engage in other activities with them with no consequences. She hadn't thought Rod was like that, but he obviously wanted to take advantage of this opportunity. "I was thinking that if this doesn't work out between us…"
No, he wasn't doing this. Bella had always imagined herself as being the heartbreaker, not the one with a broken heart. But would she really have a broken heart if Rod called it quits with her? She continued to gnaw on her cheek; it had gone numb, but she still did it.
"Obviously you don't care what happens between us, Trixie" Rod said softly, using the nickname he only said in private or when he was being affectionate.
Bella worked her jaw, wondering if she should say what's on her mind. But she held back, the wall getting higher. Keep your mouth shut….
"I don't want to break up with you, Trixie," Rod continued on, "but I think it's coming to that. I feel like I'm the only one trying to make this work."
Still, Bella was quiet. She knew that she should say something, but she couldn't form the words on her mouth. Just minutes ago, she had wanted to make Rod feel the hurt she'd felt. She had obviously succeeded, but it didn't end quite the way she had hoped.
Rod stepped up to Bella and took her had gently. He kissed the top of it and then kissed her wrist, where there was a red mark from his grip. Bella didn't care about that; she just felt incredibly sad.
Sad.
Sad?
Yes. She felt sad.
Rod gently let her arm fell again; Bella had no control over her body or emotions at this point. He gave her a sad smile and then turned around. As he reached the door, Bella expected him to turn around and tell her it was all a joke. He didn't. His hand wrapped around the doorknob and began to turn it.
"Rod, wait!" Bella finally shouted.
Rod paused, but then ignored her. He opened the door.
"ROD!" Bella screamed. Her throat was tight; she was going to cry. "Wait!" She didn't move from her spot; she felt immobile. Rod had to turn around himself. She couldn't do it for him.
"What now, Bella?" Rod snapped, spinning around. He looked angry. Bella wondered if it was just a cover. "What do you want? Can't you see this is hard enough? I don't want to do this, but you're just so damn impossible sometimes! What do you want!—"
"I love you, you idiot!" she yelled, the tears falling down her face. She was surprised that the words came from her mouth. She stared at Rod, who facial expression had softened. He closed the door and took an unsure step toward her.
"Trixie—"
Bella waved her hand in the air and Rod stopped talking. She walked up to him, still crying, and stared into his eyes. "I mean it, Rod. You fucking prick," she said through her tears, giving a laugh.
Rod smiled and reached out to cup the side of her face with his hand. She leaned into his touch. Then he bent down to kiss her gently. "Thank goodness," he whispered, pressing his forehead to hers. "Because I love you, too."
Bella laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck. He held her close to his own body. "How am I a prick, though?" he asked after a few seconds of silence.
Bella pulled away from him and smiled. "Because you're the one that made me feel this way," she told him, punching him gently in the arm. Rod laughed and took Bella's hand. He began to lead her back to the sofa.
"Come on, Miss Black," he said, looking over his shoulder at Bella, who was trailing behind him. "I hear you need some help with Potions…."
Bella smirked. "Yes," she said as they sat down on the sofa. "It's the chemistry of the ingredients… it's confusing me." She looked up at Rod with a playful smile. He returned it and Bella couldn't resist the urge to lean toward him. She placed her hand over his heart and her lips over his mouth. She closed her eyes and allowed her emotions to bubble visibly on her skin and completely engulf her, breaking down her wall.