Korra stared out into the deep, infinite ocean, laid before her like a dark, silken carpet, tasseled in the quiet breeze. Korra propped her head on her hands, letting out a heavy breath she hadn't realized she was holding.
Her body ached, protesting against her recent activities. Helping the City rebuild was more strenuous than she had first expected. But the work was worthwhile, and while at times it was monotonous, it dragged Korra's mind from the unwelcome thoughts that lurked in the recesses of her head seeking an instance of boredom, waiting for Korra to drop her guard, so they could surface.
Ever since returning from the Pole, Korra's mind had been a finely tuned prison, bent on suppressing her most painful, disturbing thoughts, locking them away so as never to give herself the opportunity to inspect them or puzzle over them further. Her emotions were too tangled, a garbled mess of knots and kinks, each strand leading to a new and even more immeshed and entangled piece of her heart.
Mako's words, his profession of love had shot through her body like the lightning he so aptly commanded. Her heart had seized, her mind becoming delirious as waves of emotion washed over her.
She had thought that those words were what she wanted, a confession of love for her and only her. But as the words reached her ears, shooting through her heart and sinking into her very core, her mind erupted in turmoil.
No, her mind had swam with angst as he looked into her eyes, longing and care swirled with concern beheld in his deep amber eyes. This isn't…..he can't be saying this…I'm not ready for this…. Her mind clambered to make sense of her raging emotions as she spun away, scared and unprepared for the immensity of Mako's words. She had run, flying across the barren, snowy land, tears streaming across her face as the frigid air slashed at her face, the wind howling against her ears.
Korra clamped her eyes shut, willing the dark memories to die away, like a flame brushed out by the cool marine breeze. Unfortuanetly her heart wasn't privy to this idea.
"You have Asami….Mako she needs you after everything that has happened…." Korra's own voice echoed in her ear, recalling the desperate conversation the two had held upon returning from the Pole. Mako stood, tall and slender, hand bracing himself against the wooden column beside the door frame. His shoulders hunched as he leaned against his hand, eyes glimmering with shame and hurt, face contorted in the shadows of the room.
"I need you Korra. It took me this long to realize it, but I…I told you before I can't imagine my life without you…well now it's more than that. I don't know that I can bear my life without you," his normally confident voice wavered, his eyes narrowing as he looked away, fighting against the vulnerability in his own heart.
Korra's eyes shimmered, her heart constricting as she recognized the degree of pain she was submitting him to. She pulled her knees toward her chest, tucking her chin against her breast and looking for all the world like a the small child she had been only a few short years prior. She looked away, voice trembling as she began, "Mako…."
She looked up to see him standing there, at the edge of her bed. He extend his hand, pulling her up off the bed in one fluid motion, pulling her to him, taking in a deep, shaking breath. Her breath stoked his skin, like the whisper of delicate fingers across her chest as she nestled her head against his body, winding her body into his. His heart quaked with short, sharp tremors as he gazed down at the young Avatar. His lips brushed her forehead, warm and soft, and he felt his heart, swell, overcome with joy and happiness.
But inside Korra's mind, she struggled to juggle her own emotions, attempting to rein in the outpouring of fire and ice flooding her body, transversing her veins and incapacitating her mind.
Korra's world spun, her eyes clouding over with the tears that stung them, threatening to break forth. Her heart twisted, contorting in the darkness, absorbing the pain and turmoil in Mako's own soul, and and implanting it in her own.
Korra had heard tell that the the heart made one do strange, terrible things. And this was surely an affair of the heart, a burning, mystifying affair that Korra had no idea how to reconcile.
So she had done the only thing she knew how to do, the thing she knew she would hate herself for doing.
She pulled away from Mako's embrace, averting her eyes from his and spinning so that her back faced him. She struggled, fortifying her shield before allowing her mouth to open, giving rise to the words that sat heavy in her throat, like a great lump of rock, shredding her mouth as she whispered, "Leave Mako. You don't love me. Please….stop this now, you are only hurting me and Asami…and yourself."
"Korra please," the pain leaked out of his voice, his eyes brimming with tears as he reached for her, wanting to hold her close once more, wanting her to know the truth in his heart, to feel it in the passion of his soul.
"No!" Korra's shout surprised even her as she spun around, bursting from the room. The doors swung on their hinges, creaking a farewell as Korra plundered down the hallway.
Mako stood in the dark room, lifting his face to the cold, cutting air that flooded in through the threshold. A single tear rolled down his cheek, falling against his chest, directly over his heart. With a sick heart, Mako left the room leaving the Avatar and her home behind. But the one thing that stayed with him as he descended the stairs of the temple, barreling past the hills of the mountainside, was the daggers of Korra's words, sinking deep into his heart, drawing pain thicker than blood. As he reached the docks, it wasn't the chitter of seabirds that reverberated it his ears. It was the pounding of his own hearts and the whisper of his own words.
"I don't know that I can bear my life without you." The sun burned bright against the bay as a second tear buried itself beside Mako's heart.