This is the first of many songfics. As always, I own nothing.

Death Should Not Have Taken Thee!

"King!"

"Wwhat now?"

"KELP!"

"Oh, wwhat do you wwant?"

"They-!"

King Eridan rested his chin on his hand, looking at the guard in front of him as he lisped, "They took Princeth Feferi and won't give her back!" Eridan's eyes widened and the young king shot up on his throne.

"Wwhat of the hero…?" Eridan asked.

"Doethn't exitht." Sollux replied, sighing.

Eridan frowned, mulling over the predicament. The peoples of Skaia needed a hero, or else the game couldn't proceed! There needed to be a character for Them, the players outside the game called Sburb. Then, he snapped his fingers, his royal violet cape moving along with his realization, "No need to fear!"

Sollux perked up at this, interested. Had he already chosen? He probably chose some really high leveled guy, like The Psiichonic or Marquise Spinneret Mindfang (for the female gamers and creepy old guys). Then, his face contorted into shock as the foolish king declared, "You'll be the hero!"

Well, that was a let down.

Then, Eridan began explaining the game to the gamers. Sollux got a feeling that this would be a long day… "Treasure chests hold the items you need to stock on and don't forget to get many players into your party so you can fight!"

Oh God, you must be kidding right?

"If you need help then talk to the peasants, okay?" Eridan pushed his glasses up higher on his nose as he shot up, "There will be many bosses along the way, just beat them down!"

… Waiit, what now?

Eridan gave what must have been his 'royal' pose, as the sparkles flew around his face, "So boast it, and toast it, and raise all your glasses! I'm the ruler of Skaia, knoww that the fate of the wworld is in your hands!"

Pfft, that isn't even the real reason we fight this… II'll just be fighting here for their sake. Damn, the bigger they think they are, the harder they're overthrown…

"Fight monsters along the wway to levvel up!" Eridan announced, "And come back to the palace at any time!" So I can wwatch them all boww dowwn!

"Waiit Jutht a thecond, I didn't hear thith at enrollment!" Sollux shouted, "My paid vacationth…?"

"I'm sorry, wwhat vvacations?" Eridan just gave the poor troll a smug smirk, "I see none in your player info. I guess that they were DELETED!" He gave a grin and Sollux could hear the loud music. Eridan's monologue was ending.

"So noww wwe're wwaiting for the bating of the breathing and the beating of the beastly old Ultimate Boss! Let the Aspects shield you on your journey!"

"This gamer ith tho THOOPID!" Sollux cursed. How in the hell was he supposed to beat this floor boss at level 2? Not only that, but Eridan was calling out his stats as if he were blind. He could see his battle stats, thank you very much! They were right to the left of him!

He used his psiichonics, as per the gamer's command, but he was just knocked back. He panted, the rapier in his hand trembling with his fingers. Shit, all of his party had already fallen! He was flashing red…

I knew my levels just were not enough yet… orz

GAME OVER

Eridan put on his saddest look, walking onto the empty battlefield as the words on the screen flashed. "Sorry, but your party has been wwiped out completely, noww you're dead." He twined his fingers together, the jewels shining as he looking down at them. "Oh Gog in Heavven, wwhy? Amen…"

As the scene changed to his castle he exclaimed dramatically, "Oh! Howw could they all die? Really a shame…" He called forth Jane, gesturing to the still forms of the fallen.

"I guess I'll givve you another try…" As Sollux stood up, glaring at him, "If at first you don't succeed-!"

"Eridan!"

"That's 'my King' to you, Sol."

"Thith ith fucking crazy…"

"Eh?! Dead people havve no right to COMPLAAAAAAIN!"

Sollux then started to make his case so effectively; Terezi was surely nodding in approval somewhere, "The only itemth we get are from treasure chethth while your cathle hath all we need! Not only that, but I'm with guyth with crazy high levelth…"

"Wwell, that's pretty awwesome right?"

"Not when you're the main character!" Sollux shot back, "But then again, there ith one big problem. I'm theriouth here, our ruler ith a HUGE MORON."

Eridan, while offended, ignored that comment in favor of sharing his sudden burst of thought, "Wwe wwouldn't be in this mess if this wweren't a game. I think that humans just like fighting battles…"

"Okay?"

"Maybe wwe need to wwork to better… wwork together?" The royal troll winced slightly.

"Jutht be utheful and tell me my thats," Sollux deadpanned, not even giving the thought one more moment in his thinkpan.

"To reach the next level, you just need to get one thousand EXP, and then you're set." He stuck his tongue childishly out at Sollux. "And maybe a backbone wwouldn't hurt you to find. Don't mess up this time!"

"What about thothe magicianth?" Sollux furrowed his eyebrows, "They usually get what you want for you."

"Wwell, Sol, you're the hero noww!" And I like looking dowwn at you wwhile politely bragging~

"All of the enemieth uthe holit. I thwear, it'th thpelling out THOOPID." Sollux raged.

Eridan gave a large yawn, "It puts a mighty King into a mighty deep sleep. Just go already!"

"Hey, I'm no hero, and I think I should add, if you want it done right, then play it yourthelf!"

Eridan brightened at the idea and grinned down at Sollux, "Is that so? Wwell then, wwe go to battle on the morrow!"

"Waiit, wha-?"

Eridan stood proudly on the front lines, rallying his men. He could already see his approval ratings skyrocketing! "The cause I demand wwe fight for is the peace of our fair nation! Let us fight on, and let the Aspects bless us!"

As the troops cheered, Sollux looked on in shock, "Waiit, wha-?!"

The monsters came and the soldiers began to fight their hardest, motivated more than ever before. Sollux couldn't help but wonder what other reasons Eridan had the army fight. Was it for the money? For the publicity? Even so, what does this "king" really rule?

The soldiers were dying around the two and Eridan's health was at red, almost as red as the flames that engulfed the screaming men. "Howw could they all be dying?! Really, a SHAME!"

As the scene flashed to the throne room and Eridan sat back on his throne, a sheepish smile on his face. "You may be thinking that I'm hiding on the throne again…"

"… But in the end I know I'm too weak to win…" (-_-;)3

"Dave! I can't beat this game, this is so stupid!" John whined. Dave took the controller and began typing in a code.

"L R, L R STOP and DASH and UP and TALK, B B A B, START. There you go."