Maya could admit it, she really could.
To herself maybe.
Sometimes it was a fleeting emotion. Maybe a passing fancy. A sudden surge caused by a kind gesture or a sweet sentiment. Something that made Maya crack a silly and genuine smile. And the blue-suited lawyer across from her would smile back reassuringly.
At those moments, it was then that Maya's heart began to race.
But strange enough, in a few days, weeks maybe, Maya was back to thinking the same old thoughts with real conviction.
She knew she didn't like Nick like that. It was just a little, weird crush. Like when someone does something nice for you, it makes you like them temporarily.
"Hey Nick, I read this article once that if someone asks you for a favor, and you do it, it means you unconsciously like them! Isn't that cool?"
Without looking up from his papers he joked, "Then I must sure be in love with you, huh?"
(At that point, Maya buried her face in her hands and blushed furiously.)
Other times, she didn't like Nick at all. Sure, they were friends. Close friends at that. But with friends, comes arguments. And at those points, Maya knew for sure she didn't like him the way she previously assumed.
"You know, Nick, I don't always just want to get burgers just to eat! I want to-!"
"Want to what?"
"Augh, nevermind!"
She thought to herself that she was silly for even considering the notion of liking such an ungrateful man.
("I want to just be able to see you and hang out with you, stupid...")
But then they'd be walking down the street, a slow drizzle picking up into a full blown down pour.
Maya would uselessly try to shield herself with her hands.
"C'mere," said a voice close by as she was swept to his side and Phoenix held his already soaked coat over her. His spiked hair was plastered to his head but his smile was pleasant as if he didn't mind the chill at all. Maya stared up at his seemingly gleaming face in the wet of the rain, her mouth slightly parted in awe.
(He caught a cold the very same night.)
On weeks when Maya felt particularly as if she didn't actually like Nick like that, she felt happier.
She decided that liking someone like him just wasn't worth the trouble that came with it. Besides, she thought, she preferred their friendship more than anything and she'd rather die than to lose it.
Maya smiled contentedly, determined that not liking Nick was the perfect solution and that she already had the answer.
Friendship was more than enough for her. And she honestly felt this way.
But then they'd be sitting together on the couch, chatting amiably, laughing wholeheartedly, and leaning towards each other in their own interest and excitement at the conversation at hand.
Without noticing, Nick's hand would brush against Maya's bare leg, leaving goose bumps in its trail. His fingers went back and forth as he continued to talk. A touch as light as a feather.
He didn't seem aware at all of his actions. But Maya smiled and talked earnestly on, pretending as hard as she could that she wasn't one hundred percent consciously aware of the offending digits absentmindedly brushing against her leg.
She was screaming internally but her face gave absolutely nothing away.
(She didn't want him to stop anyway.)
When things got hard for Maya to deal with, she hid away in Nick's room and pretended to be asleep.
He'd come into his room looking for her, unaware of the tears that silently escaped her tightly clutched eyelids.
Maya was thinking of her mother, of her future duties, of Pearl, and most of all, she thought about Nick.
What she was thinking precisely, she wasn't even sure of. But the mere idea of him, and being around him made her feel a little miserable.
Which bothered her considerably because she couldn't pinpoint exactly why.
Phoenix circled the bed, catching Maya off guard as she quickly tried to hide her tear-stained face into the sheets.
"H-hey, are you okay?" Nick asked as he crouched down next to her.
Her muffled response was always, "Yes!" and a "I'm fine!"
Phoenix raised a quivering hand and pressed it into Maya's fine black hair. In an awkward attempt at comforting her, he patted and stroked her head and whispered quick words of concern.
"You don't have to cry by yourself. What's wrong? I'm here..."
Maya's sobs grew louder but she pressed her face further into the pillow. Don't be so nice to me! She'd scream in her head.
Nick sat in his bed next to the curled up medium, was still for a moment, but then slowly pulled her into a warm hug.
(Nothing was said after that.)
One time, Maya and Pearl convinced Phoenix to take them to the detention center in order to visit Iris.
Maya felt sorry for the girl and her poor situation. Even after everything she had done, Maya didn't want Iris to be sad and alone. She figured a visit from Nick would cheer her right back up.
And cheer her up it did.
Phoenix and Iris started talking awkwardly at first, but over time, the two grew more comfortable and relaxed. Eventually, the beginnings of a smile would mutually form over both faces. They would lean in close and Iris would turn a promising shade of red. The two would share a laugh.
At that point, Maya would usher Pearl out of the room. Secretly, Maya didn't wish to stick around either. Her face felt hot in shame and she wondered what was wrong with her for feeling this way.
"Don't worry, Mystic Maya! Mr. Nick will always see you as his most 'special someone!'" Pearl said enthusiastically while rolling up her sleeve in a threatening manner in the direction of the lawyer in question.
"I - wasn't worrying!" Maya roughly shook her head.
(Maya tried to remember if Nick had ever looked at her like that when they spoke...)
After many more visits to the detention center, and many more conversations later, Maya was growing a little restless. In fact, she was growing a little angry. She was angry at herself mostly for feeling upset in the first place.
Sure, Nick and Iris were together before, but that was years ago... she would reason calmly with herself.
But when she looked at his animated features as he talked to the beautiful woman through the glass, Maya felt herself shrinking into the background.
She peered absentmindedly at the palms of her hands and wondered what was wrong.
It was as friends that she was jealous, she would constantly remind. Phoenix's attention was divided recently and for once, he didn't have all of his focus on his assistant.
(A wild urge to yell at Iris when she made flirty remarks appeared on more than one occasion.)
When Maya didn't dare stick around the detention center any longer, she left Nick to his devices as she slipped out the front door and headed back to the office on her own.
She could admit that she was sad. She could admit it easily that she was upset.
For so long, Maya had Phoenix all to herself and to see him slipping away before her very eyes was suffocating.
She couldn't do anything about it.
She couldn't tell him to stop visiting Iris or to pay more attention to her instead.
All she could do was smile amicably and quietly excuse herself when she realized her company was not necessary.
Nick would usually request that she stay but Maya always had an excuse prepared.
(He would look at her with a puzzled expression, but made no attempts to dissuade her.)
At the office, while Nick was still ensnared at the detention center, Maya paced around the room.
She was conflicted, and hurt. But most of all she felt guilty for even thinking jealous thoughts. The images of him leaning forward wrecked havoc in her mind and she could feel a headache forming.
Her pacing grew more ragged as time went by and she suddenly misplaced her footing and slipped. With a spin, Maya fell with a harsh thud, twisting her ankle.
She grabbed the aching limb immediately and began to cry at her pathetic behavior.
Remaining in the center of the room, Maya stroked her throbbing ankle as soothingly as possible. She rubbed harshly at the tears that cascaded down her face. Giving up on her foot, she pressed both hands to her eyes and let out a loud wail.
(The pain she felt most was not in her twisted ankle at all.)
Not too much later, Phoenix could be heard coming down the hallway. He had tried to call Maya when she had mysteriously disappeared but her cell phone was off. Trying to quell his anxiety at where she could possibly be, he hurried along to the office and hoped that'd be the one place she'd return to.
Coming to a stop in front of his office door, he heard muffled noises coming from inside. It sounded to him like the sniffling and mumbling of a very certain spirit medium.
With relief washed over him, Phoenix flung open the door to see Maya laying in the middle of the floor, face down. Her leg stuck out at an awkward angle and the beginnings of a bandage had trailed off from her toes.
"Maya!" Nick rushed to her side, "Why're you in the middle of the floor?"
The girl in question didn't move from her spot. She grumbled into the carpet in response.
"H-hey now, don't be like that..." Phoenix quickly surveyed the situation. It seemed Maya attempted some sort of repair job but had given up mid-way. The whole picture was suddenly rather funny to Nick and he let out a little chuckle. "Did someone have a little fall?"
Maya sat up like a springboard, "It's not funny, you jerk! - Ow!" She reached for her sore ankle and gave it a reassuring rub.
Phoenix's expression immediately screwed up into concern. He reached out to touch her twisted leg."Does it hurt a lot?"
"No, it feels great!" She said mockingly, wincing again at the sudden movement.
"Here," Nick placed an arm around her shoulder, supporting her weight. He propped her up and then lifted her onto the nearby couch.
"Ow, ow, ow!" Maya complained.
"What happened?" Phoenix question. He was kneeling on the ground in front of her, supporting her injured foot in his hand.
Maya was inexplicably annoyed at Nick. She didn't care to admit it but seeing Phoenix in high spirits after visiting Iris did not bode well with Maya at all. An uncharacteristic anger swelled within her.
"Nothing!" She spat, turning her head away from Nick and glaring at the wall across from her.
Nick just rolled his eyes and reached over for the strewn about bandage.
"Hold still," he said calmly, slowly wrapping the bandage carefully around what he assumed was where she best needed support.
Maya turned back to look at him. Phoenix's trademark spiked hair bobbed as he clumsily wrapped her foot. It was endearing to her, how silly he could look and yet how serious he would claim to act.
Looking at him like this, Maya could admit that she loved Phoenix Wright. Maybe she couldn't say she was "in love," and perhaps she would never say it aloud but the least she could do was admit it.
She smiled silently when Nick had to un-wrap and re-wrap her foot when he had messed up.
Maya knew that he would never look at her the same way she was looking at him right now. When Nick looked at her, he smiled graciously like a friend. He laughed heartily like a friend. He patted her shoulder, he hugged her...
But then she thought of his face back at the detention center and frowned. His eyes were shining, his body language was leaned forward in an interested manner. Iris's cheeks flushed in embarrassment.
Iris was closer to his age. And plus, they had a deeper history. Phoenix must have loved Iris once upon a time. Who is to say he couldn't fall for her all over again. And maybe even now, he was already head over heels.
Maya could admit that giving up seemed like the most sensible option. And how hard could it be, honestly? She had been dealing with such turbulent emotions for months now. And when they chose to momentarily disappear, Maya felt happy and at ease.
Only when they returned did Maya feel stricken with a sore grief.
To her, it was no good to be in love. Maya smiled as she finalized her thoughts.
"There!" Nick suddenly proclaimed, arms wide to showcase his sloppy bandage job. "All bette-"
A single droplet fell just above Maya's newly wrapped ankle with a quiet 'pat.'
When Phoenix looked up at her, Maya's eyes were filled to the brim with un-fallen tears. She wore a warm smile when she looked at him.
"W-what," Nick spluttered in surprise, "Sorry, is it too tight?"
"N-no," Maya stuttered, still smiling. She shook her head and more tears fell quietly, "It's great!" Maya's voice was choked and strained but she kept a pleasant look on her face.
Phoenix sat up from his position on the floor and sat next to his assistant on the couch. She began to cry more heartily now, wiping furiously at the intruding tears as more and more gathered at the edge of her eyes.
"S-s-sorry, I don't know why I'm crying so much!" Maya whimpered, offering a sad chuckle.
Phoenix watched her cry, feeling useless. He gently placed his hand over hers. But she slipped it right back out at his touch.
"Sorry! I- I can't stop," Maya sobbed.
Phoenix frowned and placed an arm reassuringly around her shoulders. "Don't apologize," he whispered quietly.
Maya wriggled out of his grasp. It didn't feel right to her to be held by him with the way she was feeling. She felt stupid and wrong and foolish. The tears came harder and harder. Her acolyte's uniform was spotted with wet marks.
When Maya looked at Nick's hurt facial expression, she began to cry louder. In futile attempts, she continued to swipe at her eyes, willing the tears to stop. Her nose was bright red and her cheeks burned.
"I can't - Nick! I can't, I'm so sorry, please!" She made an attempt to stand, but the pain in her ankle throbbed and she stumbled. Phoenix caught her easily and steadied her balance.
His expression was pained with worry and confusion. And Maya couldn't bear to look at him any longer.
"Hey, hey- Maya, talk to me, hey!" She squirmed in his hands and he grasped her wrists, trying to hold her still.
"Why're you acting like this?" he questioned.
Maya wasn't looking at him but the indignation in his tone caused a fresh wave of tears to form and she collapsed out of his grip and onto the couch.
"Maya!" Phoenix bent down immediately to try and help up the sobbing medium. Her tears had yet to let up and Nick was dumbstruck.
He ran a frustrated hand through his hair at his uselessness and looked around the room as if it held the answer.
Phoenix propped up Maya so that her body faced him but she refused to look in his direction. He reached a hand out and gently grasped her chin and turned it to look at him.
"Maya..." Phoenix said as soothingly as possible. "Please, tell me what is wrong. I'm... I hate seeing you hurting like this." He finished sincerely. The worry was obvious and etched onto his scrunched up brow.
Maya was breathing in quick, short gasps from all the crying and she closed her eyes and breathed slowly in and out in an attempt at relaxing.
She was entirely conscious of Nick's hand caressing her chin and she fought the urge to slap him away. Why was she acting like this? It was painful for her to be held so dear by Phoenix and for it to also mean absolutely nothing. It was comforting, yes. It is what would make her heart pound in any other situation.
But today, it stung. The mere presence of Nick was painful.
Maya's breathing was returning to normal and tears halted in dry tracks upon her cheeks.
She reached up a shaking hand and grasped the fingers that were holding her in place. Nick started for a moment and Maya could see a faint pink form on his cheeks from the contact.
Maya pushed his arm away and Phoenix's hand slowly fell. His eyebrows knit upwards in confusion. Maya just shook her head.
"I'm sorry, Nick." Maya said simply, attempting once more to stand. She tried to give him a reassuring smile. But it came off crooked.
"Wha-?"
Maya was planning to simply hobble away from Phoenix's shocked form but decided against it when she saw his broken expression. She gulped and shut her eyes tight before falling against the blue-suited lawyer for a brief second.
She was gone before he had a chance to lift his arms in response.
("...Iris needs you more than I do," she whispered under her breath.)
Days after the incident, Maya felt decidedly better.
AN: Hi everyone, I've been wanting to experiment with writing a little more lately... so I decided to write about Phoenix/Maya! One of the most realest characters I have ever had the fortune of learning about in a videogame. I want to make this story something I could be proud of. It's those little moments you know? I wanted to capture something of that nature. The fleetingness of emotions and how quickly they can change for whatever reason. I feel it's what makes people human, I guess. As turbulent as the sea... and yet calm a moment later. Gah, it's late.
Thank you, please review!