Za'tarc?
"This is unbelievable. I need to be retested – this can't be right!" These thoughts kept bouncing around in my head while I sat at the desk, trying to write a letter to my dad. How was I going to explain all of this!? I looked up when I heard the guard open the door, standing up when I saw Martouf enter the room. As soon as the door closed, Martouf came toward me, backing me into the wall and kissing me passionately.
"Whoa!" I said, putting my hands on his chest and pushing him back just a little. "Do you really think this is such a good idea?"
Martouf raised an eyebrow at me and smiled. "There's not much thinking needed here, Samantha." He joked, kissing me again. I couldn't help but chuckle as I pushed him back again.
"Martouf, seriously! This isn't exactly a private suite . . . and we don't know what will happen now that I'm apparently a za'tarc . . . "
Martouf kissed me again and I sighed, feeling myself melt into him. "Samantha, if I were the trigger, you would have already tried to kill me. And I'm sure we won't be interrupted for a while." He looked at me with wide, innocent eyes, a cheeky smile playing at the corners of his mouth.
"What did you do?!" I asked, shaking my head in exasperation.
"Nothing! I merely suggested that it would be all right for you to be left alone with me for a little while." Martouf answered, his eyes sparkling with amusement and passion. I could feel myself start to blush as I shook my head again.
"I'm going to have a lot of explaining to do again!" I said, taking his face in my hands and kissing him. "Oh God, I've missed that!" I thought as I leaned closer into his embrace and groaned into his mouth. I could feel his lips twitch into a small smile as his tongue plundered and explored my mouth. After what could have been days, we separated, slightly breathless.
"I've wanted to do that since you stepped through our gate, before our ill-fated meeting." Martouf said, pushing back a strand of my hair. He ran his hands down my back, causing me to shudder slightly.
"Ah yeah, it was getting a little unbearable there." I smiled up at him, my hands traveling to the hem of his shirt. I ran my hands up under his shirt and over the smooth, warm skin of his chest, making him shudder in return. I smirked, kissing him again. His hands roamed all over, making short work of my uniform, leaving it in a puddle at our feet. Keeping me pinned between his chest and the wall, Martouf's hands continued their exploration of my body. I quickly removed his clothes, dropping them haphazardly to the floor and reveling in the feel of his skin under my fingertips. We came together in an urgency brought about by raw need, the extra strength Martouf gained from Lantash making it easy for him to support my weight as I wrapped my legs around his waist. Our lovemaking took on a feverish pace, as though our lives depended on that final release. I stifled a scream in his shoulder as wave after wave of release crashed over me. I clung to Martouf and felt his body stiffen with his own release. Breathing hard, I reluctantly dropped my feet to the floor, breaking the connection between us. Martouf took my hand and pulled me toward the bed, both of us collapsing onto it, completely exhausted. We lay there, wrapped around each other, trying to catch our breath.
"We…ah…"I cleared my throat. "We probably should try to see each other more often. We may end up killing each other otherwise." I quipped. I could feel his quiet laughter rumble through his chest.
"Lucky for me, Lantash can offer me a certain amount of protection." He joked back. I couldn't help but giggle before pushing myself up onto one elbow and meeting his eyes with mine.
"You know, with this whole za'tarc thing, we may not have a choice. It's not like you can move in here with me." I shook my head. "This is such a mess!" I said with a frustrated sigh.
Martouf reached up and stroked my cheek with his finger. "I understand that you're frustrated, but we'll figure this out. I cam here to give you some options – Anise has been doing some research and has some concerns for your safety if you stay her, locked up, knowing that the summit is happening. She thinks it might be wise to sedate you- unfortunately, we have no way of knowing how long you'd have to stay sedated."
"Or I can take my chances and go through the procedure that made Astor go crazy?" Martouf nodded. "Some choice!" I sat up and ran my hands through my hair in frustration. Martouf sat up behind me, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my shoulder.
"I wish there was some way I could make this easier for you." He whispered.
"I know how much is at stake for you, too. I know that if I go through with Anise's procedure you could lose all I still carry of Jolinar." I said, almost bitterly. "Hell, I could lose everything – everyone I know and love. What if I do this and come out on the other side not knowing any of you…not knowing myself?"
"Samantha, I stand to lose much more than what you carry of Jolinar. I stand to lose you." He answered, his voice choked with emotion. I sighed and felt my shoulders sag under the weight of the decision I had to make, and the consequences that would follow.
"If I'm sedated, we have no idea how long I'll have to stay under, right?" He nodded. "I could wake up and find everyone I know and love is gone. I lose either way." I pulled my legs up to my chest and rested my forehead on my knees. I gathered my thoughts and turned to face Martouf. "We don't know if I'll go crazy if I'm in here while the summit is happening…what if we just take that chance?" I asked, grasping at ideas.
"No one can stop you, should you be programmed to hurt yourself…" Martouf's voice trailed off, a pained a look in his eyes.
"So I'm in a total no-win situation!? Damn!" I swore, pounding my fist on the bed on the bed in frustration. I leaned back against Martouf and felt his arms circle around me as he placed a kiss in my hair. He offered his support quietly and completely and I appreciated it. Finally, I took a deep breath and turned my head to look at his profile.
"Guess I'm taking a nice long nap…" I sighed. "At least this way I'm not sacrificing Jolinar again too." Martouf buried his face in my neck and mumbled something that sounded like thank you. I turned to him and took his face in my hands. I met his eyes, shining with unshed tears, with mine and held his gaze.
"I know how much you loved each other – I'm not willing to take her away from you again. I care too much about you myself to do that to you." I almost whispered, feeling a tear slide down my cheek. Martouf leaned forward and gently kissed the tear away. I brought my lips to his and kissed him tenderly. This time, our lovemaking was slow and tender, as if we were trying to memorize every curve and angle of the other's body. So we could remember it forever…just in case…
333
We lay in a tangle again, well aware that our time together was quickly coming to an end. Martouf would have to leave soon to tell Janet and Anise my decision. After that, we had no idea when, or if, we'd see each other again.
"Samantha?" Martouf whispered.
"Hmmm?" I hummed, reluctant to move and break the spell.
He cleared his throat nervously. "I think I just might be falling in love with you."
I felt myself flush, a smile involuntarily spreading across my face. "Yeah, I know the feeling." I answered. I could see his eyebrow raising in my head and giggled. "I love you too, Martouf." I said finally.
333
I blinked my eyes and shook my head trying to shake off some of the grogginess.
"Whoa, take it easy Sam!" I blinked again, trying to focus on the face attached to the voice.
"Janet?" my voice cracked; my mouth felt like it had been stuffed with cotton.
"Welcome back, Major." Janet smiled at me, offering a cup of water with a straw. I smiled gratefully, sipping the water.
"How long?" I asked.
"You were out for two weeks, Sam. Anise's research finally showed that, even if you were a za'tarc, once the targeted event had passed, you'd be OK." Janet said, sounding relieved and slightly annoyed.
"Is there more?" I asked, hearing something she had left unspoken. "Is Colonel O'Neill OK?"
"He's fine. Turns out neither of you were a za'tarc to begin with." Janet's jaw clenched.
"What!? How do you know?!" I tried to sit up, only to fall back onto the pillows when the room spun.
"Well, Anise, it seems, was…Martouf suspected that something was wrong and retested the colonel. We got to Anise just in time to stop her. Unfortunately, we weren't able to spare her life."
"Why didn't Martouf say anything to me?" I asked.
"He didn't want to five you false hope; just in case he was wrong. Sam, he's been by your side almost non-stop since the summit. What's going on?" Janet's eyes bored into mine curiously. I felt myself flush and was only able to open and close my mouth soundlessly. "Ah, yeah, that's what I figured." She smiled at me and shook her head. "Well, as soon as the sedative wears off completely, you're free to go." She checked my vitals and took out my IV as she spoke. "I know there's someone waiting anxiously to talk to you." Janet helped me sit up, barely hiding her smirk and the twinkle in her eye.
"Thanks, Janet." I mumbled, trying to fight back the blush that was determined to cover my face. I heard someone clear their throat and turned to see Martouf waiting just outside. Janet glanced at me, raising her eyebrows, and then turned to Martouf.
"She's all yours. Just, ah, take things easy for a little while, OK?"
"Janet!" I exclaimed under my breath, trying to swipe at her as she backed away out of my reach. Janet grinned at me, and then walked out of the room, patting Martouf on the shoulder as she went by him. Martouf smiled at her and closed the door softly behind her as she left.
"Samantha, how are you feeling?" Martouf asked, sitting next to me on the bed and taking my hand.
"Tired...confused…" I shook my head again. "I'm sorry about Anise." My voice trailed off.
"It was a shock, to be sure. But, also a relief, realizing you and Colonel O'Neill would be all right." Martouf met my eyes, his thumb absently rubbing circles on the back of my hand. "The Tok'ra have granted me some time off, as you would say. I thought that maybe I'd spend that time here…with you. If that would be all right with you…" Now it was Martouf's turn to blush furiously.
"That sounds…perfect!" I answered, smiling widely and leaning forward to kiss him.
We left the SGC later that day and spent my whole week of down time (Janet insisted on a week) at my house, leaving only when it was time for me to get back to the SGC and Martouf to head off on his next mission.
We spent the night before he left lying wrapped in a blanket under the stars. Neither of us wanted to think about how long it would be til we'd see each other again.
"Martouf?" I said, almost in a whisper.
"Hmmm?" he answered back.
"I meant what I said during the whole za'tarc thing. I ah…well…I love you."
"And I, you, Samantha." He answered, pulling me into his warm embrace and kissing me passionately.