Hello!
This was formerly a song-fic, now turned into a smile one-shot. It's based on the song "I dreamed a dream" from Les Miserables. It's all in Morgana's POV and it's set during the time she was imprisoned with Aithusa by the Sarrum.
EDIT: I had to remove the lyrics of the song because putting songs' lyrics is against the rules. I hope you'll understand it anyway.
DISCLAIMER: Merlin belongs to BBC Network. The song belongs to someone that I don't know, but it certainly doesn't belong to me. I only own my ideas and my stupid brain.
Ok... I hope you'll like it!
A young woman blinked her eyes open, trying to adjust her vision to the dark. Where am I?
She looked around, trying to gather her surroundings. Soon she noticed the little white dragon that had saved her beside her, trembling. Morgana wanted to help the creature, but her hands were bound and she couldn't free herself or they would harm the dragon.
They, the monsters who tortured her. She knew she had done worst in her life, but all those days in the darkness were like entering the mouth of hell itself.
Many would think she deserved it. But did she? Was there anyone who deserved to be chained at the bottom of a well, in the total darkness, a little sick dragon as their only company?
She was accustomed to a hard life. She had been living on her own since she had left Camelot. She had to find the food she'd eat on her own and she had to live in a little and cold hovel.
But her current situation was inhuman. She wouldn't want her worst enemy to be through it. Not even Emrys deserved that.
She dreamt often during her imprisonment, mostly when she had a fever or was ill.
She dreamt of the past, of a kind father, of a hardened yet surprisingly caring king who loved her with all his heart, of a blonde prince sparring with her and laughing, of a young and timid dark-skinned maid who would always chat with her, of a kind and wise old physician, of a blue-eyed boy who wanted would bring her flowers with flushed cheeks and a cute grin.
She was burning with a high fever. She couldn't remember how long she had been in that place. All she could do was dream.
Hadn't she been happy in Camelot? Yes. Than what had happened? Why was she alone, now? Was it her fault? Uther's? Arthur's, Merlin's, Gwen's, Morgause's fault? Emrys' fault? How could she know? She just wanted to be happy, but her former friends would have killed her in Camelot.
"But would they?" a voice seemed to ask. She hadn't given a chance to them. Merlin had even tried to help her.
"He poisoned you!" continued the voice. I know, but he just wanted to protect Camelot. She had figured out that the cause of Merlin's betrayal was, actually, Morgause's spell. She had forgiven him long ago, but she couldn't show herself as weak.
I loved him, didn't I?
She had realized she had fallen in love with him. Why hadn't she told him? "We can find another way," he had said. And she had refused his help. "There is no other way."
But there had been another way, hadn't it?
She often dreamt about what would have happened had she chosen a different path.
She would have been happy, wouldn't she?
Then she remembered why she hated Camelot and everyone who lived there. My magic.
They'd kill her just because she had a gift. Magic had chosen her, not the other way around.
Merlin was the only one who had tried to help her. The only one who cared for her even after finding out about her powers. And she'd pushed him away, refusing to hear his kind words. How could I have been so stupid?
He wasn't afraid of her magic. They could have escaped Uther's tyranny and they could have gone to live with the Druids and Mordred. Maybe they'd be married by now. Maybe Merlin would have begun to study magic and she would have had to teach him. She would have liked that.
Merlin would have found me, he would have saved me.
Yes, he would have. But that could have happened in a past life. In a world she no longer belonged to.
And yet a small part of her hoped that the once bright-eyed boy would arrive grinning and offering his outstretched hand, as he had done many times before. But this time she would accept it.
Sometimes she had thought that she wasn't human, that she was a monster. And yet my heart is beating. And my eyes are filled with tears. Am I not human, then?
She had been wrong. She had been too quick to judge Arthur. He had announced he wouldn't persecute Druids anymore. Maybe, one day, hadn't she turned him against magic forever, he'd have seen its good side.
"If I had your gifts, I would harness them for good. That's what magic should be for. That's why you were born with these powers," Merlin had said.
Everything could have been so different, had she known what she knew now.
It's too late, she thought. For it was too late.
Would her life be different, had she listened to him? Had she listened to her heart and not to her mind?
Would she be happy?
Or would destiny have found another way to destroy her dreams?
It's too late to think about that, now.
It was too late, she was sure.
...But was it?
A special thanks to Fae Luna, my beta-reader, who helped me a lot.
I hope that it wasn't too confusing, without the song's lyrics.
Bye!
-MildeAmasoj