Zelda was standing out in Hyrule Field. What a nice day she remarked to herself. Her thoughts broke off as someone came into view riding… a tricycle, of all things.
The young man stopped in front of her, got off of his tricycle, and bowed politely to her. "I am Link." He gestured to his attire, a pink tunic with a matching hat. "I wear pink. You can call me Link In Pink."
"Umm," said Zelda, "okay."
"Tell me, would you like some Mushrooms That Stink?"
Zelda stared. "Um… no."
"Do you like Mushrooms That Stink?"
"No, Link In Pink, I do not like Mushrooms That Stink."
"Would you eat them here?" asked Link. "Would you eat them there?" He pointed to Death Mountain. "Would you eat them anywhere?"
Zelda was getting a little irritated. "I would not eat them here. I would not eat them there," she pointed to Death Mountain, "I would not eat them anywhere. I do not like Mushrooms That Stink, I do not like them, Link In Pink."
Link persisted. "Would you eat them on a horse named Sally? Would you eat them in Gerudo Valley?"
"I would not eat them on a horse named Sally. I would not eat them in Gerudo Valley. I would not eat them here or there, I would not eat them anywhere. I do not like Mushrooms That Stink, I do not like them, Link in Pink!"
"Would you eat them next to a cake? Would you eat them on a lake?"
"The cake I would take," said Zelda. "But I would not eat them next to a cake, nor would I eat them on a lake. I would not eat them here or there. I would not eat them anywhere. I do not like Mushrooms That Stink, I do not like them, Link In Pink!"
Kaepora Gaebora, the wise owl, passed by overhead. "Would you eat them with an owl?" asked Link. "Would you eat them on a towel? How about with a vowel?"
"I would not eat them with owls, towels, or vowels! I would not eat them here or there, nor would I eat them anywhere! I do not like Mushrooms That Stink, I do not like them, Link In Pink!"
"Would you eat them with an ant?" Link pulled an ant out of his pocket. "Would you eat them with my friend Zant?" To Zelda's utter astonishment, he pulled an understandably very confused Zant out of his other pocket.
"Huh?" said Zant. "How did I get here?"
"I would not eat them with an ant. I would not eat them with your friend Zant," said Zelda. "I do not like Mushrooms That Stink, I do not like them, Link In Pink."
"Can I go home now?" asked Zant, but he was ignored.
"Would you eat them in the snow? Would you eat them with a Poe?"
Zelda couldn't take anymore. "NO MEANS NO!!! I WOULD NOT EAT THEM IN THE SNOW, I WOULD NOT EAT THEM WITH A POE! I WOULD NOT EAT THEM WITH AN ANT, I WOULD NOT EAT THEM WITH YOUR FRIEND ZANT!"
"Dude, leave me out of this," said Zant, backing up a little.
"I WOULD NOT EAT THEM WITH AN OWL! I WOULD NOT EAT THEM ON A TOWEL! I WOULD NOT EAT THEM WITH A VOWEL! I WOULD NOT EAT THEM NEXT TO A CAKE, I WOULD NOT EAT THEM ON A LAKE! I WOULD NOT EAT THEM ON A HORSE NAMED SALLY, I WOULD NOT EAT THEM IN GERUDO VALLEY! I WOULD NOT EAT THEM HERE OR THERE, I WOULD NOT EAT THEM ANYWHERE! I DO NOT LIKE MUSHROOMS THAT STINK, I DO NOT LIKE THEM, LINK IN PINK!!!!!!"
There was a silence. Then Link said, "Have you even tried them?"
Zelda shifted. "Well… no."
He held the Mushrooms That Stink out to her. "Go on, try them."
Very, very slowly, Zelda picked one up. Very, very slowly, she put one in her mouth. She chewed.
And chewed.
And chewed some more.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And threw up. "BLEH!!!" she cried. "Those are awful! I TOLD you I didn't like them!"
She lunged at Link in Pink, who hopped on his tricycle and pedaled for his life. "COME BACK HERE!" bellowed Zelda as she chased him.
"Seriously," said Zant to no one in particular. "Can I go home now?"